enna Other Press EDITORIAL _ The latest hike in tuition fees has just hit and we, as students are again faced to struggle in this never ending battle of survival. How can we keep up with these rates? What do they think we are? Where do they think we're going to come up with the extra cash? It is becoming increasingly difficult to afford an education and sooner or later people might have to make a choice. The college should start to consider the consequences of tuition fee hikes and the impact they have on the typical student. With other costs in mind, like parking, rent, food, and gas how can they add more to the already ridiculous costs of tuition by increasing them yet even further. We, at the Other Press have a theory to how the college thinks we can afford these hikes. They think we have: (1) A money tree in our back yard (2) No life, and therefore no entertainment costs (sit at home & stare at the wall for fun) (3) Cars that run on water (4) Parents that are loaded (S$) Homes across from the college July 6, 1994 The Other Press is Douglas College's autonomous student newspaper. We've been here since 1976. We aim to serve the students, staff, and faculty of Douglas College with a newspaper that informs them of things happening at the college, across Canada, and around the world that affect them. We also aim to give the college and community a chance to write and express themselves. We also aim to be an interesting read. If we're not doing any or all of these things to your satisfaction, please let us know. You can mail a letter to us at Box 2503, New Westminster, BC, V3L 5B2, or drop it off in our mail slot at Room 1020, or you can fax us at 527-5095, or you can call us at 525-3542. We like you... come visit. Staff this issue In the beginning, there was one man. His name, strangely, was Holly “Crossing Guard” Keyes. He used to wander aimlessly through the recesses of Hell, searching for the remnants of anything - anything - that could be used to create some excitement. You gotta know that being the only person around would be pretty boring. So, anyway, one day he came across this horrific looking statue, which slightly resembled Tim “Schleprock” Crumley. He smashed the statue to bits, citing excuses such as, “oh, well, my hockey team lost,” and, “He started it!” Out of the rubble stepped forth a mighty champion to challenge him. Legend has it that this champion was named Trent “Gourmet” Ernst, and had fists the size of watermelons. A great war ensued, killing millions (where all these people came from all of a sudden, I don’t know, but they all died just the same) and injuring twelve. As Candice “Chrissy” Lee watched in disgust, Dug “Ted” Hébert and Gunther “The Bat” nursed the wounds of a whining Jason “Control Freak #1” Kurylo. Because that’s the kind of gal she is, Daniela “Karate Chop” Zanatta scolded the crying wimp, calling him names and threatening to sick Mike “Foto Boy” Dutton on him. Luckily, Ronnie “Reagan” Bains happened upon the scene, and stopped further carnage. Jim “Scooby Doo” Irving and Tony “Student Driver” Sousa went down the wrong hallway, and met up with the cave man and the werewolf. Oh no! Just in time, as the horrid freaks were about to devour our heroes, Pascale “Daphne” Fourtier, Charlotte “Thelma” Holst, and David “Fred” O’Harkin burst in the door. They ripped off the masks of the villains, revealing their true identities: Scott “Pork Chop” Simmer and Bert C. “Food” Ennah. That’s when Jyoti “Scrappy” Kapdee accused. them of trying to heist the million dollar Other Press Diamond, which had been originally found by Fred “Washerand” Dryer. Of course, they had to say the magic words: “We would have done it, too, if it wasn’t for you lousy kids!” Coordinating Staff Production — Charlotte Holst * News — Tony Sousa * Features — Holly Keyes * Sports — Dug Hébert Arts & Entertainment — Jason Kurylo ¢ Editorial & Opinion — Ronnie Bains ¢ Classified — vacant ¢ Photography — Mike Dutton * Graphics — Daniela Zanatta « Creative — Jyoti Kapdee * Office — Tim Crumley Crisis at Douglas quasi-cafeteria Before anything, I must acknowledge that the staff at our cafeteria are fairly nice people who have been quite amicable to my person for the last couple of years and I do not mean to jeopardize my relations with them. However, I always wanted to say something about the quality and quantity of what our students get from our cafeteria. The quality is okay, some things are ingestible and others pathetically unpalatable. Today, asa matter of fact, they blew the top of my long repressed indignation. I was served a meager amount of pasta, a little scoop of rice and 2 tiny concupiscently miserable slices of baked potato for $ 3.45! I approached the manager to point this out to her. “is this a rightful portion of food?” I said. Her dry and quite impolite response was rotund “yes” as she kept looking away from me. I was fuming after this. Where did she get her training as a manager, with Fidel Castro? In unfortunate Cuban territory your meals are rationed and you are not allowed to complain about it, or it is jail or exile! Our cafeteria has gradually turned into and unavoidably centre for rationed- greasy food (and we are not getting it for free) controlled by a ludicrous entity such as the White Spot Ltd. These people only care to profit from us and in turn they are starving us to death. Plus, stratospheric prices top up most of the menu items. To your information, there is large amount of poor students on campus who are nearly starving as they struggle to pay for their tuition fees, medical, transportation, childcare, et cetera-bills? They are not meeting their required daily intake of protein, carbohydrates and fibre that are imperative to perform well during heavy examinations. Your G.PA. is negatively affected as a consequence of a poor diet. Well my fellow students, your G.PA. will never go any higher if you feed on greasy and highly commercialized food like our cafeteria’s. The solution? Simple indeed, how about organizing students to plan an alternative PERMANENT outlet for students (legally run by students)? How about some home-made food dispensed through a club such as the popular, multifaced United nations Club? These fellows have the power to put together a very efficient student home-made food club that would be the salvation to many frugal gourmets on our campus. Sometimes my pockets are loaded with money, but because of the unavailability of good AFFORDABLE food around Douglas I always end up either at our cafeteria or at the “submarine” place across the street. We are surrounded by Cardboard-food businesses that profit from poverty- afflicted students. These businesses profit the most during bad weather seasons. Monopoly at its best. Take SFU’s students for example, these fellows have easily (and legally) organized and have set up a club for when ever you want some good, abundant and delicious organic “Neo- hippy groovy” meal. You can always get it for a god-damn good price. (falafel, salad, yogurt dip, homous and pita bread or barbecued marinated tofu with spanish onions and dried apricots served with goat cheese and organi¢ 7-grain Dutch bread). Sounds yummy, huh. Yet you are not going to see this kind of menu at Douglas until the end of the next Iam telling you , if you don’t do anything about this distasteful situation you will always get what they want you to get: Skimpy greasy-cardboard meals. Have you not have assertion or self esteem as to care for what you feed your own delicate eco-system, your body? I do! Oscar Lardizabal N. If you don't attend class, don't whine Dear Other Press: I, Linda Meyer, am a Douglas College who has perfect attendance, and so should all other Douglas College students unless they are dead, in a coma, or gravelly ill. Furthermore, as far as I am concerned students either attend Douglas College or they do not, as there isno such thing as half attending Douglas College. Finally, a person who half attends Douglas College gets half an education, and half an education is a waste of time and good for nothing. I had to “claw” and “scratch” my way into my psychology class and now it is less than half — a mere 18 students — full. Some students were probalbly turned away from my psycology class because the class was “full.” Since the class was full how come it is now half empty? If students do not want to attend class that is fine; however, they should not have registered. Students who register for a class then either do not show up or quit — “quitters never win and winners never quit” — half way through are denying other, would be, students equality of opportunity and that is a “crime.” Besides making would be students suffer, the “students” who half attend Douglas College are, in a sense, making their professors suffer. I know if I was a professor I would be very discouraged and disheartened if only half my class bothered to attend it on a regular basis. How would those “students” who half attend Douglas College like it if their professors half attended Douglas College? Ultimately, the students who half attend Douglas College are not only hurting themselves, but they are also hurting their professors, Douglas College, and the taxpayers! Linda Meyer Who knew? Dear Other Press: . I've been coming to Douglas College full time for two semesters, now. My registration date is July 29. Why is it that a General Studies friend of my, with only two courses under his belt, has a registration date nearly three weeks before mine? I don't like the idea of having to "buy" courses from someone with a better date than myself, but if I'm to get out of here by the year 2000, I'm going to have to. Unless there is a serious change of policy with regards to assigning dates, I don't think students will be able to seriously consider Douglas as a viable educational alternative. Irving Dayson Correction In our flailing frenzy to get the paper out somewhere on time last month, we clean forgot to give Mike Dutton credit for the front cover photo. Sorry, man. 7