humor// no. 20 theotherpress.ca

Ridiculous hiring practices

» Unrealistic expectations 101

Tania Arora
Staff Writer

A n entry-level job, as the term suggests,
( ( is for a candidate who is about to enter

 

the workforce. And with each passing year of
experience, the salary expectations tend to
rise as well. As normal as all this may sound,

How hard iS it to W rite the human resource departments of the past years

don't understand this. They have converted

exact title of the job? seers imoawholenew form ofa

The discovery started after my graduation
when I started to hunt for job opportunities.
The outcome is that no matter how much
education I have, my lack of experience
doesn't even let me step into “entry-level” jobs.

Why would someone with actual
experience be applying for a beginner
position and accepting lower pay? Where
must the actual entry-level candidates
go? Positions that are a level higher than
entry-level positions have been seen with
minimum requirements of five to eight years
of experience. In such a time frame, a person
could become an assistant director or at
least a senior specialist. Brand new five-year-
old companies have been seen looking for
candidates with 7 to 10 years of experience for
a director position. Should I finally say this—
that one must spread their legs according to
the size of their blanket?

Also, I understand companies try to
have candidates from different backgrounds,
but that will happen anyway if employees
are judged by their experience and not their
name. What is the point of having questions
asking for ethnicity?

Now to criticize the so-called title of these
jobs. How hard is it to write the exact title of
the job? I always struggle in writing a resume
explaining why I am interested in applying
for a position that I know nothing about. My
mind starts shooting different ideas. One of
them being, of course, I need a job and you are
hiring. Secondly, I like your office building...
Eventually I just type an answer bragging
about how great the company is.

 

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Illustration by Athena Little

Pump up the volume

» Fake crowd noise for spectator-less sporting events have given Dr. Bonnie Henry an idea

Craig Allan The areas in question will have large
Staff Writer speakers hanging over and blasting crowd
noise. Test run received reactions from

s sports leagues like the NHL and the passersby’s such as Jasmine Callender

 

LB come back, players must get who said this: “IT’S SO LOUD! I CAN’T
use to the new normal of playing in front HEAR ANYTHING BUT THE NOISE!”
of no fans. This includes tarps covering Paul WaCarty stated “WHAT?! WHAT DID
seats, cardboard cut outs of fans in the YOU SAY?!” Dr. Henry said the speakers
stands, and pumped-in crowd noise from will also be programed to make other
loudspeakers. The addition of the crowd sounds at certain times. These include
noise has led to a lifelike atmosphere construction work at 6 am, SkyTrain
around the sport of play. This level of maintenance noise at 4 am, and a crying
artificial activity has intrigued BC’s Chief baby every five minutes.

Health Officer, Dr. Bonnie Henry. She also said, “I knew that this
She is now looking to introduce this would make a lot of ‘noise; so I have also

technology into open spaces like Jack Poole | commissioned a home version of the

Plaza and Granville Street. Dr. Henry says speaker so that all British Columbians

that these noises will help people feel like can enjoy these sounds in their very own
they are back in the good old days when bedrooms. Remember, the pandemic is not
we were all basking in the glow of drunken _ forever, but these sounds will be!”

yahoos and pre-pandemic life.