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¢ Locals refuse to be fooled by Halloween
costumes

* Top three podcasts with animal hosts

¢ Top five reasons to hate fall
..and more!

Locals refuse to be fooled by ambitious
Halloween costume ideas

> ‘Don’t fill our hearts with high expectations then just show up as a sexy ghost, say locals

Isabelle Orr
Contributor

 

¢¢ J ool me once, shame on me,’ James

Gleeson told reporters last Friday.
“Fool me twice—I won't let it happen
again.”

Gleeson is speaking about Vancouver
resident Anthony Pickering, who promises
larger-than-life Halloween costumes but
has failed to deliver for the last six years.

“It’s disgusting. It’s shocking, really,”
said Gleeson. “Last year he said he was
going to handcraft a full-body Transformers
costume that really transformed and drove.
He showed up to my party as—get this—a
plain banana. Not even the Rasta hat kind”

Pickering, 37, has promised strangers
and loved ones alike many fantastical
costumes, including Groot from the

popular action blockbuster Guardians

of the Galaxy, a mermaid with a robotic,
moveable tail, and a fully functional iPhone
8. Despite his claims, Pickering’s actual
costumes produced on October 31 have
included “black cat”, “man going to the
beach’, and Waldo from Where’s Waldo?

“He already had the red-and-white
striped shirt for Waldo,” Gleeson added.
“Pretty much everybody does.”

Lily Morrison, Pickering’s neighbour,
feels especially cheated by Pickering’s
thoughtlessness.

“He really hypes it up every year,
telling us about parts he’s ordered online,
said Morrison. “He gets my children
all riled up. They love Groot! Then, on
Halloween night, he shows up in the
most hastily thrown together costume
imaginable. One year he just walked into
my Halloween party with a lampshade

>

on his head. Actually, that one was pretty
good.”

City officials have been made aware of
the issue. Councillor Elizabeth Ball held a
press conference last Saturday afternoon to
address reporters.

“We're not going to get our hopes up
this year,” said Ball. “It’s just not fair to us.
This has been a recurring problem and
there’s no sense getting all in a tizzy, no
matter how absolutely dope the costume
sounds.”

Those on Pickering’s side suggested
that he, like many Halloween lovers,
had simply ran out of time to adequately
complete the costumes.

“Obviously time is not the central
issue here,” Ball stated. “Pickering started
telling people his plans for this year’s Mayor
McCheese costume as early as November 1.
That’s 364 days to get it together. Besides,

Mayor McCheese isn’t even that hard. It’s
basically just the head”

Pickering gave only a short statement
to reporters, stating “Hey man, life gets
in the way! You know how it is. It’s just
Halloween. It’s not Christmas, for God’s
sake.”

When asked about the promised
Mayor McCheese costume, Pickering began
trying to shut his front door. “Yeah, yeah,

l ordered a bunch of parts from Japan,”
he said. “Really niche stuff. It should be
coming in any day now.”

Reporters then confronted Pickering
with an empty Value Village premade
costume bag for an adult size large
“Incredible Man” found in his trash.
Pickering declined to comment further.

Top three podcasts with animal hosts

» Ms. Barky to Mr. Goldy

Naomi Ambrose
Staff Writer

 

A nimals like Ms. Barky, a golden
etriever, and Mr. Goldy, the golden

goldfish, are taking a break from their pet
duties to host their own podcasts.

Take it from this reporter: Hearing
pets share their insights about their world
without worrying about their owners’
opinions is a wonderful delight. Podcasts
have exploded in popularity among
humans over the last few years and now
it is time for our beloved furry and fishy
companions to educate and entertain us
with this rising medium. J am a podcast
aficionado, and I’m always happy to share
with the world the latest and greatest
podcasts from Kingdom Animalia. Here
are three animal podcasts that are worth
a listen:

Ms. Barky’s Barktown Chronicles
Hosted by Ms. Barky, the affable golden
retriever and the 2017 winner of the Royal
Avenue Doglovers Club Best in Show
competition, Barktown Chronicles is a joy
for dog lovers and for Ms. Barky’s fellow
canine contemporaries. In the podcast,
Ms. Barky shares her experiences with
her owner and the joys and challenges of
being a show dog.

Ina bonus episode, Ms. Barky also
shares what she really thinks about Best in
Show, Lassie, Dog Day Afternoon, and Air
Bud. Her guests have included Benji Tenji,
the feisty Bichon and the third runner-up
from the 2017 Royal Avenue Doglovers

Club Best in Show competition, as well as
Ms. Barky’s long-time friends the Great
Dane Lady Daisy and Tocho the friendly
Labrador Retriever. Of course, the musical
interludes are none other than

the Baha Men’s “Who
Let the Dogs Out” and
some other surprise
choices. If you have
ever wondered what

it is like to be an
award-winning
show dog who
is alsoa lovable
four-legged
golden bundle
of love witha
waggy tail,

 
   
 
  
  
 
  
  
 
 
 

then this podcast is worth the pause in
your busy day.

Average running time per episode: 30
minutes.

Mr. Goldy’s Fishy Water Days
Even though Mr. Goldy is a newcomer to
the podcast world, his podcast Fishy
Water Days has become a surprise
hit. Perhaps the success of the
podcast lies with Mr. Goldy’s
warped sense of humour when
he shares his experiences about
his life as a pet goldfish in a
fish tank. The episodes would
not be complete
without
Mr.

Goldy making a hilarious and offbeat
mention of one his favorite movies:
Finding Dory.

If you are a new listener, you may
question the purpose of the extensive use
of the bubble sound effects. However, I
believe you will eventually enjoy them.
Guests have included other pet goldfishes
such as Merry from Port Coquitlam,
Sterry from Burnaby, and Jerry, also from
Coquitlam.

Average running time per episode: 45
minutes

Lady Friska’s Catnips and Sips
If you feel at ease with the silent and
peaceful presence of a Birman cat, you
will enjoy the ambience of Lady Friska’s
podcast Catnips and Sips. Lady Friska and
her feline guests usually talk about the
misconceptions about being a cat.
These misconceptions include their
obsession with stretching and staring at
humans.

In one of the episodes, Lady
Friska addresses the rumour about her
relationship with Toulouse—one of the
cats from The Aristocats. No topic is too
taboo. Risqué topics have included Lady
Friska’s weird encounters with other
neighbourhood cats and kittens. Lady
Friska and her guests also share their
opinions about their top five milk brands.
Of course, no episode would be complete
without hearing the sound effects of
catnip being nipped and bowls of milk
being sipped.

Average running time per episode: 15
minutes