humour / 22 Letter to the Humour Editor: ‘Tcannot contain my disappointment with our premier anymore’ Inthe September 3 issue of the Other Press, we published a satirical article comparing BC Premier Christy Clark and her ongoing attitude towards the BC teachers’ strike as being very Grinch-like. One reader, who wishes to remain anonymous, had the following, rather lyrical (and similarly Seussical!) response: You're a mean one, Christy Clark You really had us fooled, You came in with one great promise, that you'll put the families first, Christy Clark, You're a bad actor and for families you're the worst! Youre a slow one, Christy Clark, Your mind’s an empty hole, If only you had a degree, you might have knowledge in your soul, Christy Clark, I wouldn’t vote for you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole! Youre a foul one, Christy Clark, You have a promise keeper in your cabinet, Who won't keep a promise to get the kids in school yet, Christy Clark, Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile! Youre a rotter, Christy Clark, Youre the queen of pointless plots, You'll say no to arbitration because it'll put you on the spot, Christy Clark, Youre a contract-ripping toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce! You nauseate me, Christy Clark, You and your crafty smile, You're a crooked contract reneger and you drive a crooked deal, Christy Clark, You and your crony Fassbender don’t want arational third party arbitrating Because you know they won't side with you and your logic is tangled up in knots! Youre a foul one, Christy Clark, You're a nasty, wasty fool, Your head is full of incorrect math, you won't let the kids go back to school, Christy Clark, The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, “Fink, Fake, Fool”! theotherpress.ca Pun Co paper By Natalie Serafini CY ts Ava Kes ~ ‘We think we're people too!’ » Group of hyper-sensitive cats starts support group in wake of demeaning names Sharon Miki Humour Editor humour @theotherpress.ca Ce parents, beware: the social order is under repair. A new group of cat activists have made it their mission to raise awareness about the impact that having a stupid name can have on a feline. “For millennia, cats have had to suffer the indignity of ridiculous, demeaning names at the hands of their human owners,” said F.T. McGee, a three-year-old domesticated Scottish Fold cat and leader of the newly banded support group, Cats Against Totally Stupid Names (CATSN). “How do you think it makes me feel to be called ‘Fatty McGee’ every day of my life?” Indeed, advocates of CATSN point to the long- term social and emotional when they are forced to answer : to names like Butthead, Stinky, : Lil’ Dick, Fartface, Chubbs, or : Justin Bieber. “When you get called : President Furball every day : of your life, it’s hard to take : yourself seriously. I can’t tell : you how much I’ve spent on : cat counselling just to get over : that,” said President Furball, a : furry little grey kitten. It’s not just the insulting names that CATSN takes issue : with, either. “Even if you give us loving : names with good intentions, : they can still cause warped body : : image and self-esteem issues,” : said McGee. “I know that my parents : thought it was nice to name : me ‘Princess; but now I feel : like I really have to live up to : the name and be this delicate, : prissy kind of cat,” added : Princess, a seven-year-old : Persian fluffball. “I mean, I just : want to hunt mice and play : with the boys, but my name repercussions to a kitty’s psyche fundamentally precludes me : from that kind of behaviour. : Also, meow.” With this in mind, what can : conscientious humans do to fix : the problem going forward? “We know that our human : parents have mostly good : intentions, and probably : thought they were giving us : cute, conversation-starting : names, but pet owners should : be aware of how their frivolous : actions effect our emotional : well-being,” purred McGee. “Try : giving us names that you would : be proud to have as your own, like Rupert or Kesha, instead, : and see how we emotionally : flourish.” CATSN meets every week in : the forest behind the Coquitlam : campus of Douglas College. : It’s pretty adorable, but please : don’t comment on the physical : cuteness if you happen to : stumble upon a grotto of fluffy : kitties cuddling in the forest— : cats are (basically) people : too, and they deserve some : modicum of dignity.