LETTITOR

 

 

Lettitor Augustus

Hello all you fabulously beautiful people out there in
Newspaper Land. It’s time for this month’s installment of your
favourite fashion rag and mine—the Douglopolitan! It’s booze and
fashion, fashion and booze...what more could you ask for?

And | need to tell you all something—lean close, I’m going to
whisper—it’s my very last issue as Editor of The Other Press. In
two week’s time, a new male model will take over as the most
feared and beautiful person in Room 1020, New Westminster
Campus, and his name is Trevor Hargreaves. He’s not quite as
talented and lovely as me, just as | wasn’t quite as talented and
lovely as my predecessor, but he’s got that “X-factor” in such
huge quantities that | swear | can smell his arrival already. His
work on the catwalks of Milan is the stuff of legend.

But before the illustrious Dr. Hargreaves, Beauty M.D., retires
me to the pastures Coquitlam, | need to tell you a few things. First
off—all that plastic surgery | got every week in order to keep
changing my appearance for my Lettitor photos was my idea and
my idea alone—The Board of Directors may have hinted that I’d
lose my job if | didn’t do it, but the decision was all mine.

Second: the smut-fest fantasy that the once hallowed pages of
the Other Press devolved into during my tenure as Editor-In-Chief
was entirely my fault. You see, | lacked proper guidance as a
child...my heroes were cocaine-fuelled models and talentless
hacks who taught me to always go for the cheap stunt. Sure, my
mandate was to “inform, insult, and enlighten” and yes, | probably
should have shared that credo with the rest of the collective mem

 

bers here at the OP, but, whoops-a-daisy! Like sex in an alley on
the first date, it’s just so much more fun to implement a plan when
you keep it a secret.

| didn’t go it alone: the perverse and witty minds of the contrib-
utors, editors, and graphics’ wizards that make this dirty bird fly
each week remain largely in place. Gone are Sports Editor Brian
McLennon, Arts and Entertainment Editor lain Reeve, Opinions
Editor Brandon Ferguson, and Features Editor Kevin Welsh. In
are Kevin Lalonde, Travis Paterson, and Brady Ehler. And there’s

‘plenty of space down here at the Other Press for new folks that

want to come on down and see what we’re all about. We meet
most Thursdays, room 1020, New West Campus from 6—7pm.

Lastly: Awww shucks, I’m going to miss all you crazy boys and
girls, with your crazy ideas and crazy political slants and pain-in-
ass requests for this, that, and eventually, the other. I’m going to
miss copy deadlines and Brooklyn’s Pub and having a place to
bring my “tricks.” (Who says the Other Press’ darkroom doesn’t
get used?)

But mostly, dear readers, I’m going to miss you. It’s okay to
cry...| won’t judge. Alrighty then, I’m over it. In the immortal words
of Chris Elliott (and The Handsome Boy Modeling School), “I’m a
male model, not a male prostitute.”

Good luck and see ya in the funny pages.

Colin Miley, Editor-In-Chief