December 3, 2003

Sports

e the other press ©

 

 

Disney On Ice—
Princess Classics

Kerry Evans
Managing Editor

Before you dismiss this article, yes, ice-
skating is a sport. Think of Disney On Ice
as theatre sports. I mean, it was at GM
Place, it was on ice, the fans dressed sim-
ilar to the performers, and parking was
impossible. It was practically a hockey
game—for all intents and purposes—for
goodness’ sakes.

This past“weekend, I had the pleasure
in accompanying my daughter to the
show. First, I must mention how much I
loved that every five steps of the GM
Place lobby was a stand where I could
purchase incredibly overpriced memora-
bilia. The programs for sale were $15 and
contained pictures from the show.
Hmmm...do I need to be reminded?—I
don't think so. Of course my daughter
insisted how bad her memory was and
that I would become, in fact, a waste of
money to not buy the program because
she would forget the show by the end of
the day. Who is this person? Anyway, we
agreed on a $5 colouring book. Oh, and
the beverages were cheap. Only $12 for
two pops and a coffee—what a steal!

They covered all the princess stories:
Snow White, Mulan, Cinderella, Sleeping
Beauty, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast,
and Little Mermaid. Unfortunately, they
only portrayed portions of each story,
starting and ending in the middle. There
was no “Once upon a time” and there was
no “Happily ever after.” I could hear sur-
rounding kids saying, “That’s not how the
story goes.” That's right kids, that ain't

how it goes, but I guess Disney thinks you
are too dense to remember that. Now go
buy some cotton candy and shut up.
Those are Disney's thoughts—I would
never tell someone else's kids to shut up—
well, not right to their faces anyway.

Hey, you know what was great about
the show? The costumes were amazing—
Til bet you never hear that in one of
Flash’s commentaries. Each sequin on
each costume shone brightly. I definitely
give five gold stars to the designer and
seamstress. The dresses were beautiful and
my eyes almost misted over when
Cinderella—decked out in her sparkly
white wedding gown—made her final
entrance with Prince Charming. Hey, I
said “almost misted.” Is it okay to cry at
sporting events?

Wow, and did the skating ever suck.
Cinderella fell a few times, my daughter
could do the lame lifts they were “trying”
to do, and I would have to give their
effort and enthusiasm two thumbs down.
Do not attend this event if you have any
respect for ice-skating as a sport or even as
a hobby.

At the end of the show the cast was
shaking the hands of the kids in the front
row, and then everyone started to rush
down. I was thinking this could turn into
some sort of riot so we headed for the
exit, and once we got through the cloud
created by smokers, we bustled to the car.
So next year, we are getting seats up front
for sure; See you there?

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