ASON ROCHON

t is 1998, yeah so most
people know that, what
I’m wondering though, do
omen really want the ‘nice
oy’ they all claim to want.
Once upon a time there

et's call him Billy with the

ad attitude. Billy with the

ad attitude was rude to

veryopne that he met, think-

ng that because his life wasn’t

ike on TV, he could be an

sshole to whoever he wanted.
Billy with the bad attitude

ad lots of girls wanting to

imb into his bed and he let

em.

CHAEL Cox
AVID LAM CAMPUS _

here is nothing more
revolting than
listening to your
arents having sex, making
ve, doing the horizontal
olka, the backseat mombo

d so on.

Teenagers avoid—at all
st—allowing their parents
listen to them having sex. I
lo not understand why par-
ts cannot show us the same
spect.

iled serenely and revealed
s plan 12B.

Which is why we set off
a romantic long weekend
ith the youngest offspring,
s bike, video games and
mework all in tow, but I

limsy little black outfit
cked in my suitcase.

We arrived at our destina-
n and my sister-in-law wel-
med her nephew into her
me, giving him free range
her computer, a backyard
g to play with, and his per-

any growing teen’ diet).

ived a depressed and lost boy,

uldn't be discouraged. I had

nal supply of pasta (a staple

One day, Billy with the bad
attitude met his match. She
was tall and beautiful and she
told Billy that she loved him.
Now there was only one pro-
belm. Billy with the bad atti-
tude lived with an equally
mean and nasty person. So
Billy with the bad attitude
packed up and left.

He went deep into the
mountains, where he stayed
for many years. His transfor-
mation was gradual, he went
from Billy with the bad atti-
tude to Billy with the not so
negative attitude. After a year
or so, the birds stopped shit-
ting on his head when they

flew past because he was now

Our parents had sex

I have come home on
numerous occasions only to
be forced out of the house to
avoid listening to my parents
re-arrange the furniture—if
you know what I mean. I
know this is not just me. I
have talked to many other
people and everyone I talk to
would rather be eaten by rabid
wolves than listen to their par-
ents having sex.

I have come to terms with
the fact that my parents have
sex. However I don't want to
know when it happens or even

So far so good for plan
12B. We left them there and
hustled off to our hotel.
However, we had neglected to
calculate the old-age factor
into the plans, and fatigue
quickly overcame every other
desire. We slept well though.

Later the next day, after
son had exhausted the back-
yard dog, eaten his weekend's
pasta quota, biked through
the neighbourhood, done as
much homework as he could
stomach, and driven his aunt
insane with the sounds of
Mortal Kombat, I became a
full-time parent temporarily.

ppletne rit

hat the hell goes on here?

Billy with the positive atti-
tude,

Every day Billy would wake
up-at dawn and walk through
the trees, calling them by their
names. Now there came some
discontent into Billy's serene
existence, he was lonely.

Billy with the positive atti-
tude decided to go back to
the city and find a ‘nice girl’
He didn't expect any problems
since when he was Billy wiht
the bad attitude girls loved
him, although he wasn't sure
why. Guess what happened
next? Girls ingnored him like
he was not there.

So do women really want a
‘nice boy’?

be able to hear. I am just glad
I have never seen it. I have
argued with my parents about
toning down the volume, but
do you know what their reply
was? “It is sex. You are sup-
pose to enjoy it.”

I have since come up with a
quite vulgar solution: a sign
that says “having sex — come
back later.” It’s that or a
soundproof room.

In conclusion, I don’t let
my parents listen to me, why
should I have to listen to
them?

OMANCE (continued from page 1)

But that evening my husband
returned our child to the cus-
tody of his aunt, and back in
the hotel room we gave thanks
for plan 12B.

Workaholic’s habits are dif-
ficult to change, and everyone
knows that all work and no
play makes for a dull relation-
ship, but combining business
and pleasure is heartily recom-
mended for marriages of any
duration. That, and learning
how to count up to 30 in
your head.

Mima

What's the most outrageous
thing you've done to get a
guy or girl to go out with
you?

 

Wait for a whole night for a
phone call.
Jason

 

 

 

 

Do something not obvious. °
Molenia

 

What? I’m not outrageous!
Kevin

 

 

Oh no! Honestly, ’m NOT
outrageous!
Lenka

 

Serenade her with roses.
Francisco

 

Being humorous and sensible.
Day

 

 

$0}0Ud XD [eeudIN

 

 

 

The Other Press October 14 1998

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