a tearstained bride cutting the wedding
dress she was wearing to pieces, Cara
Milk looking royally beautiful as the
Queen of Hearts, with a cape larger
than the stage she was performing
on, and the Delilah Dare doing Mary
Poppins, starting off lip-synching “A
Spoonful of Sugar” until most of her
clothing was gone, at which point she
switched numbers to Def Leppard’s
“Pour Some Sugar on Me.” There was
also a foul-mouthed nun, to remind us
of all the sins we were committing.
This night’s vocal performances
came courtesy of the Marmaladies, an
a’capella singing quartet that was too
adorable for words and too talented to
not go see them again. And I can’t not
mention the clowns, especially after
the story we had about clownaphobia
we had in our last issue. While I don’t
usually suffer from such a phobia,
watching a clown take its clothes off
still gave me the willies. And this
night had not one, not two, but three
stripping clowns! The performers
each did a great job—heck, one of
them even used a trampoline, but I
still wound up a little freaked out.
The biggest event that I
attended was May | at the Wise Hall,
the aptly titled “Banquest of Broads.”
This event started with an amazing
aerial act by Jillian Deri that was like
a bootylicious Cirque Du Soliel, and it
just kept on getting better from there.
The Luscious Dance team showed

how much you can do with a pole
dance, amazing the crowd by having
three girls going around a single pole
at once. There was hilarious spoken
word by Sara Byone, the host of
“Teen Angst Poetry Nights,” that
had the crowd in hysterics. Malika
Millions did an amazing performance
with a male dummy on a string and
roller skates. Definitely a night to
remember.

Perhaps the coolest part
of the festival was the VIBF Red
Carpet Gala, a celebration and awards
ceremony at the Biltmore Cabaret.
The burlesque’s answer to the Oscars,
the gala was an awards show like
no other. To give the Vancouver
stars a night off to enjoy themselves,
organizers booked only out-of-town
performers. The red carpet ceremony
gave everyone a chance to really get
decked out, and being a part of scene
that already dresses beyond belief, it
was quite the spectacle.

“The best thing about
burlesque is that it’s completely
individual, and every woman who
get up on stage had something that
I want to see. It’s never about being
the best, it’s about the individuality
of each woman” said Burgundy Brix,
one of the festival’s most prolific
performers. As much fun as I had
being a spectator, all too often the
women on stage seemed to be having
the most fun of all.

May 5, 2008