Baro

Beer on a budget

Six difference brews for under ten dollars

By Jacey Gibb

ear that? That’s the sound of you
H=: broke. If you’re reading

this then chances are pretty high
that you’re in the same boat as most other
students (a boat that just sprang a leak
and is slowly sinking with debt).

Of course there are numerous ways
to save your finances and one sector you
might be looking to decrease is your beer
costs. If it’s what you’ re into, one course
of action could be to reduce your rate
of consumption. But if that idea doesn’t
tickle your pickle (where’s the fun in
sober fun?), you might just want to start
browsing through the less expensive
selections being offered at your local
liquor depot.

I recently arrived here from the
distant prairies of Alberta, where you
could purchase ‘Boxer’ beer at the
remarkable price of 36 cans for $38 plus
some change (taxes included). How I
long for such cheap thrills again. In the
mean time, I’ve been browsing for a
suitable replacement: cheaper than Old
Milwaukee, dirtier than Pilsner. Yes,
we’re going to be scraping the bottom
of the barrel today in search of what low
grade suds is right for you.

Contender: Cariboo

Dollars: 7.75

Potency: 5.5%

Taste: Flat

Overall performance: The price is great
but unfortunately, that’s the only thing
this one has going for it. I recommend
shelling out the extra twenty cents it
costs to pick up a six pack of its more
attractive, tastier honey lager derivation.

Contender: Keystone

Dollars: 8.19

Potency: 4.9%

Taste: Lovely

Overall performance: Though it lacks
the kick that comes with being as high
percentage as other beers, Keystone has
the uncanny ability to taste not like dirt. It
even goes as far as to taste GOOD which
is a rare trait to run in the beverages
we’re analyzing.

Contender: Ironhorse

Dollars: 7.69

Potency: 6.4%

Taste: Dirty

Overall performance: It’s the cheapest

18

beer I’ve been able to discover so far and
at a 6.4%, it doesn’t take any prisoners.
The flavor of course, leaves much to be
desired but with a price like that though,
who cares?

Contender: Pabst Blue Ribbon
Dollars: 8.15

Potency: 5.9%

Taste: Formidable

Overall performance: PBR may have
started its resurgence being known
simply as the hipster’s weapon of choice
but it’s actually a really great beer with
more than just a label to offer. I might
be biased though, since if I saw Clint
Eastwood drinking deer piss as his
beverage of choice, I’d probably give it
a try too.

Contender: T.N.T.

Dollars: 7.79

Potency: 5%

Taste: Meh

Overall performance: Nothing
outstanding to report here but no severe
drawbacks either. You’d probably find
more fireworks at a junior high dance
than with this beer though.

Contender: Hellsgate

Dollars: 7.99

Potency: 5%

Taste: Diabolical

Overall performance: The unimpressive
flavor declares a one-sided war on your
taste buds and leaves them pillaged, but
not before salting the grounds to make
sure nothing will ever grow again. At
least the name is fitting, as it unleashes a
drink that probably would be best to keep
locked up.

And the winner is...

Ironhorse! It’s essentially like the
Buckley’s of the beer world: it tastes
awful and it works. The train on the label
seems fitting as the hangover included
with your purchase leaves you feeling
like you were just struck down by the
same form of transportation. It kicks ass
and breaks hearts like nobody’s business.
And really when it comes down to it,
isn’t that what beer’s all about?

*All prices do not include tax and are
based on a six pack of 355ml cans (exact
numbers may vary between liquor stores)

 

 

 

 

 

Richman Restaurant

Cantonese & Szechaun Cuisine
601 Agnes St. at 6th St. 604-520-1808

 

DOUGLAS COLLEGE
STUDENTS:

September Special: $4.50
Fried Rice or Chow Mein + 1 item

(over 10 items to choose from!)
(Douglas College ID Required)

 

 

 

 

Lunch Special
$6.40 (TAX included)

(MON-FRI 11am - 3pm)