Barer The OP reviews the five most stomach churning rides at Playland (and doesn’t pay extra!) Attention: Nervous persons or the squeamish avert your eyes now. By Siavash Emamzadeh beaming, the ice cream truck passes by with its jaunty tunes, the sprinkler’s are sputtering and best of all, and the Pacific National Exhibition is now open daily. Now, if you’re a thrill-seeker, you can’t wait to get on all of the rides Playland has to offer ... multiple times. Personally, I’ve been on all except Revelation, Drop Zone and Hellevator—although, I’ve heard many accounts from people who’ ve ridden Hellevator. Frankly, people that are willing to try Revelation and Drop Zone don’t come along very often because, well, the only “dropping” that will be taking place is one’s blood pressure and the only “revelation” will be in the form of one’s tears. So, the following list of the top five Playland rides do not account for the Drop Zone and Revelation and are intended for the almost-hardcore thrill-seekers. Hopping on the five following rides will guarantee you more fun than you’ll have driving a Lamborghini on a European highway. 5) Hell’s Gate If Hell is really this fun, what’s stopping people from sinning? Hell’s Gate loops riders 360 degrees all the while moving them up and down vertically. Riders are also spun near a surging fountain of water. [= that time of the year again; the sun’s From the side, it looks like a pendulum with two lines of passengers extending to the other end as its weight. It’s basically like you are experiencing being suspended from a dinosaur’s mouth ... a drunk dinosaur. You're at the mercy of a giant beast, but you know deep inside that you won’t be chewed to death. You just might fall to your death. 4) Hellevator Here’s some advice: if you’re an engineering student, avoid this ride at all costs. You’ll be haunted by nightmares of what any miscalculations could lead to. Otherwise, enjoy! This is an awesome treat for those who love to be surprised, as the ride unsuspectingly ascends up the 202-foot tower, then drops like its gravity possessed. I must admit, anxiety is usually a bad thing, but the anxiety you work up waiting for the ride to take off is a very good thing. 3) Pirate This ride should really have been called the Pirate Ship, seeing as how people get onboard a ship, not a pirate. Nevertheless, it doesn’t take away from experience of the ride. It’s basically a ship that’s powerfully rocked back and forth. You can imagine it as a playground swing that goes like 20 times as high and 10 times faster. This attraction takes the suspense of Hell’s Gate to another level because of its great height. Not only does it position riders towards the ground, but it holds them there for a while. The fun has double the effect if you sit near the ends of the ship, where you really get a feel for the elevation. 2) Crazy Beach Party This ride is identical to the one that Bart, Lisa and Milhouse rode in an episode of The Simpsons. Bart and Lisa kept on trying to spit on each other, but instead, Milhouse was the victim of their dribble. If you’re thinking of getting on this ride, please don’t mimic the Simpson siblings. It would ruin the experience of riding an amazing attraction that swings and spins a horizontal “donut,” holding passengers on the inside edges, back and forth to a height of 90 degrees! I always feel like this gives an uncanny simulation of losing control of your car on black ice...then somehow periodically encountering a slope. 1) Corkscrew Have you ever at one point or another wondered about crappy genes? If so, board this ride and come to good terms with DNA, as you zoom through DNA structure-like single and double helix inversions. This incredible rollercoaster ride that weaves in and out and shoots up and down is like the devil’s personal train to Hell. Added to the park in 1994, it’s suited with all new and stupefying technology. Enjoy as you hear nothing but screams and the wind’s roar, and see a view that beats that of any fancy skyline. It’s a very memorable ride. Try these rides and you’ll be hooked on Playland—it’s wicked fun. Go ahead; they’re waiting for you. Fuming? Nodding? Sound off and let us hear about it. Email your comments about this or any other story to opinions@ theotherpress.ca Will outdoor travel become virtually obsolete in the distant future? By Siavash Emamzadeh ith the likes of social networking websites for socializing, distance education programs for studying and up-and-coming game consoles for exercising, I can’t help but wonder about what looms in the future. Technological developments have certainly been an embodiment of the changing world for some time, but a new trend is emerging that’s altering how much we rely on technology. For instance, social networking websites, such as Twitter and Facebook, are transforming the way people interact. Not too long ago socializing was done face to face and it is now almost solely conveyed via the internet. Or amazingly, it’s now possible to engage in outdoor sports at home via the Nintendo Wii, a feat that might have been labeled “silly” several years ago. We have invented these means of living, but did we ever anticipate that they would have such a great influence on our lives? It wouldn’t be ludicrous to suggest that in the distant future, there’d be much less incentive to roam outside. It’s only a matter of time before the online job sector really takes off, at which point there’ll be no more hasty scuttling to the car to make it to work. Employment, exercise, education and socializing will all be conveniently available from the comfort of our home. Sure, one might head out to dine or enjoy a movie, but I imagine that there’d be a significant reduction in outdoor travel. Furthermore, it’s naive to discount another key contributor in persuading people to stay home: global warming. In particular, greenhouse gas emissions are affecting the global climate and eventually the weather will be too warm and dangerous for us to stand outside. Granted, it will take a considerable amount of time, but according to recent statistics the temperature has already begun to increase and catastrophic flooding may ensue. In fact, one could say that technology’s influence on our lives is a blessing in disguise. After all, it could prepare us for long periods of staying at home and do so well in advance of the big spike in temperatures. One could say that technological advancements put a positive spin on weather-induced mandatory home confinement. Instead of adapting to the circumstances after having no choice but to stay at home, we could adapt before it. I’m not pessimistic about plans to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, but carrying through the plans will certainly require large-scale efforts. And considering the magnitude of these efforts, one can’t help but to feel rather sceptical or disheartened. Whether one is enchanted or repulsed by thoughts of staying at home more often, it’s only a matter of time before an exclusively indoor lifestyle comes to fruition. Technology has a very powerful impact on our lives, even more than has been documented. In fact, technology’s remarkable effect can already be seen on vocabulary and language, as internet lingo has rendered proper words, and even proper punctuation is up for discussion. And so, mass change begins, gradually seeping in to our lifestyles, until many of our subsequent generations dwell in its completion. Fuming? Nodding? Sound off and let us hear about it. Email your comments about this or any other story to opinions@ theotherpress.ca