issue 11 // volume 42 humour // no. 23 NEWS Image via thinkstock November's lack of news probably means good news » Local, national, and international sources oddly quiet Cazzy Lewchuk Staff Writer Nv has always been seen as a letdown. The media can no longer cash in on Halloween themes, and it’s slightly too early for Christmas, which leads to a lack of inspiration and story. Everyone’s busy and bored, whether it be from prepping for finals, working early retail rush, or settling into the role of prime minister of a semi-important country. This lack of remarkable stories leads journalists to conclude that no news is probably good news. National: After the excitement of electing a new leader that dominated our newspapers and Facebook feeds all October, angry debates with friends just aren’t the same since Mr. Trudeau took office. Justin has been fairly silent after his Cabinet announcement, and the rumour that he is tongue- tied on how to announce a $999-billion deficit is probably false. Good news for everybody! Local: Vancouver's previously reported problems include severely unaffordable house prices, a growing homeless population, expensive beer, underfunded transit, and the : decline of quality BC Bud. City : hall’s lack of announcement : addressing any of these things : suggests they are no longer an : issue! Happy news indeed! Personal: You have three papers due this week, your : professor never got back to you : about that crucial concept you : didn’t understand, that girl still : hasn’t responded to your texts : about going on another date, and : your student loans officer still : hasn’t renewed them for next : semester. Lack of communication : always leads to excellent results: : no news is good news. Cosmological: NASA’s top : scientists continue to search for : signs of life outside of Earth, a : theory of everything, and signs : of purpose amongst the void : that is the hundreds of billions : of galaxies that make up the : universe. While theologians, : philosophers, and psychologists : continue to speculate on our : value and reasons for being : on this planet, no meaning of : life has been found. Lack of : interstellar prominence, evidence : of a benevolent God, or higher : purpose amongst the cosmos : means we're probably here : for an important yet currently : unknown purpose. Probably. i you're he ane en the Cerling! f= adn Gv 129 nek as” et ce Ary 4O *\ you sure are weird, pau! ~ help by Chandler Walter, Humour Editor Queskotoalble decision, building, Drak gedivM. by David Manky, Senior Columnist