SPORTS Life as a Leaf Fan — Pity Me, For | Suck Steph Smith, OP Contributor As a young girl, I grew up all around Southern Ontario and, as such, I have a confession to make. I am a devout fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yes yes, I can hear you laughing at me from here. Don't worry I get enough threats and laughter to know where I stand. You see, I am a Leafs fan it's true...but I am one of those Leafs fans who knows that my team sucks. I am a rare Leafs fan with a fairly accurate sense of reality. However, just for fun, let's examine why I am so pathetic and why I know the reasons I am subject to so much ridicule because of my fandom. . up the ice. Really I do). NHL It's in my blood. mclennonb@douglas.be.ca Up front, my team is a sad array of “has beens” and “should have beens.” Eric “The Concussion King” Lindros, Jason “Head Injury-Missed a Year” Allison, Jeff “Didn't I Used to be Good?” O'Neill, Nik “Why Can't I Skate?” Antropov, Mariusz “Who?” Czerkawski...you get the idea. (I cry every single time Nik Antropov tries to skate slowly Sadly, the only thing worse than the front end of the team is the back end. Defence? What is defence? We have a few players that we try and pass of as defensemen, but it's not really fooling anyone. Bryan “Puck Fumbler Extraordinaire” McCabe, Tomas “Why Shoot When I Can Pass Instead?” Kaberle, Aki “A Pylon in a Jersey” Berg, Ken “I Play Defence?” Klee, and an array of no-name no talents that we cycle between the AHL and Last but not least, and saddest of all, is the goaltending my Leafs have. At one time in his life Ed Belfour was one of the best goalies in the game. Look at his stats throughout his career. He's second only to Patrick Roy for wins, and two years ago he single-handedly took the Toronto Maple Leafs past the Ottawa Senators and into the second round of the playoffs. Sadly those times are long gone. Now you are never sure if you are going to get Ed “Hey, I'm Awesome” Belfour or Ed “Hey, I'm Drunk” Belfour. And if you have to pull him for any reason, the Leafs have Mikael “Slightly Better than Trevor Kidd” Tellqvist to back him up. It's a scary, nerve-wracking ordeal. Having said that, I am aware of where my team stands. I am aware that they are the laughing stock of the NHL, and that there are a good 10 or more teams who ate much much better and more deserving of my time, but I love my Leafs as much as I hate them. I was born to Leafs fan parents and grandparents. I grew up receiving Leafs tickets and memorabilia for birthdays and Christmas. I grew up saving up 320 dollars with which to buy tickets to a game that the Leafs lost 7-2 (and this happened on more than one occa- sion). I grew up loving the game, and loving my team in the 80s when we finished in last place. I have to constantly defend my team and fight off people's laughter. And before you say anything I remind you that I KNOW THEY SUCK! I KNOW IT! It's like a bad drug habit that I just can't kick, or just don't want to. Unites Us.” For the Leafs, the motto is “The Passion That Unites Us” and I think it is true; howev- er, I might suggest a slight modification to something more like, “The Brain Disorder That Every single person who is a “diehard” Maple Leafs fan is obviously off his or her rocker. I love my team, I know they suck, and I am pathetic. Wanna fight about it? We have Tie “The Midget Turtle” Domi, and when was the last time he lost in a fight? Yeah. 4 cl National Champions! Brian McLennon, Sports Editor The Douglas College Royals' Men's Soccer team are the 2005 CCAA National Champions. In front of an ecstatic home crowd at the Burnaby Lake Sports Complex, the Royals defeated the Algonquin Thunder by the score of 2-0 to win their first ever National Soccer Championship. On hand to witness this historic event were Douglas College President, Susan Witter, Director of Communications and Marketing, Brad Barber, and Athletic Director, Lou Rene Legge. “T'm just so happy for them. I know how much they wanted this,” said Lou Rene. “Champions are those who can overcome adversity and this group of young men and the coaching staff epitomizes the true meaning of champi- The Player of the Game for Douglas was Ivan Estrada. The outstanding freshman had a sensational rookie cam- paign, especially in post-season play where he was named Best Forward in the Provincial Championship tournament. Other Royals garnering awards were Jagminder Gill, who was named a tournament all-star along with all Canadian and BCCAA Player of the Year, Cameron Wilson. The “Mighty” Casey Wilson was named the tournament's Most Valuable Player. Overlooked on the awards podium was Royals' goal- keeper, Krisjian Johannson. The 6'4" sophomore from North Delta was brilliant throughout the entire tournament. When the final whistle blew at the cessation of the champi- onship game, Johannson had recorded a perfect shut out in three games. Krisjian, who finished the regular season with a 1.36 goals-against average, doubled his entire season shut out total (2). “He slipped under the radar.” Said Lou Rene Legge. “There were times when the opposition had some good opportunities to score and Krisjian always came up big.” The Road to Gold Even after a slow start to the season and season record that wavered just above .500, the team never loss focus of their goal and were determined to prove their skeptics wrong. In a dramatic turn around, the team won ten out of their last eleven games en route to a National Championship. One person who never had a doubt in his mind or of his team's capability was Head Coach, Joe Ormerod. “There's something special about this team.” He said during an interview leading up to the National Championship tournament. “We are coming together at the right time...this is the year.” In his short, five-year span at the helm of the Men's Soccer program, Ormerod's squad won three BCCAA Provincial Championships (2002, 2003, and 2005). Along with long-time Assistant Coach, Shane Ramsey, and first- year Assistant Coach, Matt Ormerod, the team were National silver medalists in 2002 and bronze medalists in 2003 (as the host team). “She [Lou Rene Legge] said it should take us fours years to win it” Said Ormerod. “This was the fourth year com- peting at Nationals and we did it.” As part of the grand finale to this epic Championship story, Ormerod broke out into song and dance to the delight of his team and the cheering home crowd. The Other Press wishes to extend a hardy “well-done lads” to every member of the Men's Soccer Program. So, well done lads.