© the other press e features Toxic Emotions at Work Barbara K. Adamski Features Editor “There is always grief somewhere in the room,” says Professor Peter Frost of UBC's commerce department and author of Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Managers Handle Pain and Conflict. Even if the room is seemingly full of smiling people, someone is experiencing pain, he adds. Roughly 100 people are in attendance at Frost’s September 30 lecture and book signing at the Vancouver Public Library. How many are hurting? And how does one deal with the pain of another? Frost believes in the power of connection. “Just five minutes of connecting with the suf- ferer is gold,” he states. He refers to those who connect with others on this level as “toxin handlers.” He describes an event from his own life seven years ago, when he was in the cancer ward at Vancouver General Hospital. The gen- tleman in the next bed was having a particu- larly bad time. Frost wasn’t sure this man would make it. But, as the day went on, Frost noticed how the nurse, in addition to her reg- ular duties, kept a connection with the man, talking with him, holding his hand, providing him with privacy when needed. It helped, and when Frost later spoke with the man, the man told him that earlier in the day he didn’t care whether he lived or died. His outlook changed, however, and although Frost had not yet come up with the idea of “toxin handlers,” he now believes that this nurse was indeed a toxin handler, providing a connection and making a difference. Frost believes pain is inevitable in any organization; toxicity, however, is not. What mitigates the pain is a group of people in the organization who act as toxin handlers. They may be managers; they may be line supervi- sors. Often, though, they are the co-worker, the secretary, the average person in the office, someone with a caring nature. When Frost suggested that occasionally these toxin han- dlers are from human resources, many in the audience laughed. While there were certainly HR staff in attendance, as Frost diplomatical- ly pointed out, it is interesting to note that human resources does not seem to be highly regarded as promoters of empathic and healthy workplaces. Frost presented several sources of toxicity in the workplace. Not surprising, Intention, the malicious desire to create pain (a sign of con- trol) and Incompetence, whereby those with high technical but low interpersonal skills get promoted to a position from which they micro-manage, top the list. Organizations tend to transform human issues into numbers and abstractions, accord- ing to Frost. But unfortunately, the organiza- tions forget to put the people back into the equation, creating what he refers to as the Toxic Equation. Being a toxin handler is tough work. Not only do toxin handlers need to be strong enough to act, they also need access to a vari- ety of resources. Their position, itself, puts handlers at risk for illness. Toxic emotions are contagious, says Frost, and may leak into the handler. And toxin handlers, even though they possess a high level of emotional intelligence, are often reckless when it comes to their own health. It is important that a “professional inti- macy” is maintained, he advises, one that allows the handler to be close enough to help, but distant enough so he doesn’t take on all the sufferer’s pain. During the question and answer period, someone asked how to recognize a healthy work environment. Frost suggested asking such questions as: Are people supported? Are staff members allowed to shine? Is a positive attitude encouraged? Is the place fun? Is there a high level of respect? A “yes” reply to all of these questions suggests a healthy work envi- ronment. An interesting comment that Frost made (but didn’t expand on) was the correla- tion between the salary gap between the top and the bottom positions in the company and the level of toxicity, suggesting the larger the gap, the more toxic the workplace. Frost also pointed out the two distinct fac- tions in the workplace. There are those in the race who are going at such a fast pace in their quest for a top position that their emotions are dulled. And then there are those trying to avoid the game playing, those who are likely to ask morale-related questions in their search for the right organization. Judging from audience response, those in the latter group are most likely to attend a lec- ture on toxic workplaces because, unfortunate- ly, they're the ones who have probably experi- enced working in a toxic environment. Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Managers Handle Pain and Conflict, received the 2003 Terry Book Award for the most out- standing contribution to the advancement of management knowledge. Page 18 e http://www.otherpress.ca October 8, 2003 Contact the Student Services Centres at Douglas College. We provide: ® Career information and resources ® Counselling — career, personal,and educational © Peer support and assistance ® Services for First Nations students e@ Services for students with disabilities © Women’s Centre You are not alone The Students’ Union’s Pride Collective provides resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered students at the college. The Collective meets Thursdays at 4:30. All lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, questioning and allied students are welcome. Douglas Students’ Union Canadian Federation of Students Local 18