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The hottest apps of the
week: Its a holly, jolly,
STFU

By App Man, Mobile
App Aficionado

Welcome, welcome,
welcome. App Man is here,
to recommend YOU the best
apps of the week. Each week,
App Man will have an
unexpected theme for you

to discover and enjoy. And
don’t forget! If you've got
any cool apps to share, email
App Man at appman@
gmail.com.

Have a holly jolly
Christmas...GODDAMIT!
Get that song out of App
Man’s head please! As
November comes to an
early week of goodies,
including the release
of Google’s new Nexus
4 and the premiere of
Twilight Breaking Dawn
Part 2 (hey, App Man
likes it), it seems like
Christmas is coming

sooner than ever. To make
your Christmas dreams
come even faster, check
out these neat apps!

1. Funky Smugglers
- iOS ($0.99)/Android
($0.99)

Get your fingers ready

as you play an airport
security guard ready to
catch those vile scum
smugglers! Join huge
team battles where you
fight for the highest
scores and get into
challenging randomized
missions! While enjoying
the funky “70s music,
you'll fall in love with the
colourful graphics. Made
by an award-winning
developer, Funky
Smugglers is a game you
won't want to miss even,
though if it costs a dollar.

22 £2 £3 &

2. Angry Birds: Star Wars
- iOS ($0.99)/Android
(Free)

Angry Birds, Angry
Birds: Seasons, Angry
Birds: Space, Angry
Birds: Next Top Model...
With the same beloved
(or hated) characters,
Angry Birds: Star Wars
provides nostalgia for
Star Wars fans. However,
it doesn’t speak the same
for those who aren’t—
and that includes App
Man. With repetitive
gameplay and similar
graphics, Angry Birds:
Star Wars proves that
once you find a formula
that works, never change
it. Although that sounds
very nice, it means little
innovation in your
creation and a whole lot
of imitators to rejuvenate
such success.

22 £2

3. Canabalt HD - 10S
($2.99)/Android ($2.99)

Run, jump, and dodge.
These are the only moves
you need to know as you
play through the game.

Life&Style

But be warned; despite its
simple action pads, you'll
be facing fast-paced
platforms, obstacles,

and enemies along your
way. Enjoy the new 3D
backgrounds or switch
for a 2D artwork. Using
only 12.22 MB for storage
use, Canabalt definitely
knows how to make the
most out of its game,
with big value for a low
price.

22 £3 25 £2

4. SketchBook Mobile
-— iOS ($1.99)/Android
($1.94)

A professional-grade
paint and drawing app,
SketchBook Mobile offers
you a full set of sketching
tools and a convenient
UI. Use your time on

the bus to create your
beautiful drawings and
designs. Not only that,
but you can use your app
on tablets as well, giving
you a whole new field of
creativity in motion.

22 £2 22 2S

5. Appy Geek — Free for
iOS/Android

Love technology? Are
you always on your
game with tech news but
too busy to find them
all? Appy Geek provides
all the geek news you
need to know in one app.
From sources including
TechRadar, 13 Magazine,
The Next Web, the
controversial Gizmodo,
and more, you'll be able
to stay in touch with your
inner geekiness. You can
also choose what news
you want to be delivered
to you, allowing you to
sort through junk. App
Man found Appy Geek
to be useful, informative,
and geeky!

22 25 £5 £8

Disclaimer: App Man is
not responsible for failed
classes, your exes, gaming
addiction, or thumb muscle
problems. With great apps,
comes great responsibility.

BETWEEN

Ss) THE
Pe SHEETS

Hair: there or bare?

By Viv Steele,
Possible Cavewoman

Hair can be a touchy subject

for a lot of people, especially

the hair down there. Porn stars
usually don’t have any; whereas
the ladies and gents in your
parents’ copy of 1972 seminal
sex resource, The Joy of Sex, sport
full-on genital carpeting. Pop
culture leads you to believe that,
if you’re a woman, your vagina
needs to be a bare, pristine, hair-
free wasteland; a veritable fleshy
Slip ’n Slide, the sight of which
will cause your partner to want

to get all wet and wild up in
that.

But the truth is that much
like everything else about sex
and relationships, the body hair
issue is wholly dependent on
you, your situation, and your
preferences. But since you come
here for definitive answers,

I'll try and tackle the age old
question once and for all, by
imparting upon you my two

6G

golden rules.

So here’s Viv Steele’s
first golden rule of vulvar
landscaping: forget everything
you’ve seen on screen.
I’ve already discussed the
disconnection between porn
and reality in this column, but I
think for the average youth and
college student, the truth can’t
be stressed enough. Porn is not

real life! So, ladies, when you see
those picture-perfect high-def
hairless pussies being pounded
on RedTube or whatever, don’t
feel like you need to have any
shame in your game.

Porn actors can afford
regular waxing; civilians who
attempt to remove the evil hair
with traditional (read: cheaper)
methods, such as shaving, may
find themselves with razor

..dont let your partner dictate what you
should do with your vagina. Ever.

burn and ingrown hairs, which
is unsightly, but more to the
point, incredibly uncomfortable.
Logistics aside, pornography
portrays a hyper-sexualized
and clearly fake facsimile of sex.
Above average penis lengths,
ageressively fake breasts,

and hairless lady parts can
contribute to a low body image,
or worse, could encourage us

to place expectations on our
partners.

Which leads me to my
second golden rule: don’t let
your partner dictate what you
should do with your vagina.
Ever. Be open to input, sure, but
what you’re sporting under your
skivvies is nobody’s business
but yours. We live in a society
which tries to control people
through shame and unspoken
codes. I’m a firm believer that
mainstream sex advice, mostly
garnered from Cosmo, Maxim,
and romantic comedies tries
to shame women into thinking
that bald is beautiful and
hairy is hellish. So, do what
you will. Do what makes you
feel comfortable, but if your
partner politely asks you to trim,
consider their wishes. And if
you dare to bare, then support
your local esthetician and get it
waxed. Your tender flesh will
thank you.

15