© Opinions the other press e Halithurber opinionsubmit@hotmail.com September 24, 2003 Depressed in Winter? Kali Thurber Opinions Editor I recently read this heading at the top of an advertise- ment in the Georgia Straight. It was a call for eligible people to participate in a research study of a new med- ication treatment for Winter Depression. My first response to this was, “hmm, I wonder how much they pay?” This launched a bit of an epiphany for me. Perhaps I could develop a career of donating my body to science, and quit school altogether. I imagined myself drinking Seabreeze after Seabreeze on a deso- late island in Mexico, while contemplating what resort I might meet my next beck-and-call boy at. Yes, that’s the life. No financial concern, no monotonous customer service job, no cold rainy winters. So with this fantasy in mind, I decided that reading the rest of the advertisement would be my first step toward absolute freedom. It went on to describe the symptoms that might be present if you do indeed have Winter Depression. The symptoms were listed as follows: * 1. Feeling sad or down ¢ 2. Increased need for sleep ¢ 3. Fatigue or decreased energy ¢ 4. Increased appetite ¢ 5. Weight gain. As I read these my spirits rose even higher. There was no doubt in my mind that I had the last four symp- toms, and the first one could be provoked easily enough. However, this is precisely the point where my con- science came into play. Did I really want to put my body’s health in jeopardy by smothering it in unneed- ed medication? After much persistence from my obnoxious rational side, the answer, of course, became no. Since I would have essentially been a lab rat for the Mood Disorders Clinic, it could be a possibility that the medication wouldn't work as it was intended to. My fantasy on the beach of Mexico quickly altered, and I saw myself obsessively pulling at my hair and yelling obscenities at frightened beach- combers. Or what if the opposite possibility came into effect. My seasonal fatigue could be dramatized and raised to levels of lethargy I didn’t even know exist- ed. Sure I would have some money, but all I could do was sleep on the beach. Hmm...sleeping on the beach doesn’t sound so bad. But wait, no! Come back rational side, come back con- science. There is some- thing clearly distorted about this study. Let’s go over the symp- toms, shall we? Feeling sad or down is obviously a symptom of depression. But with the lack of vitamin D ever-present in our dreary winter climate, doesn't everyone feel a little less spry than they did in the summer? I wonder if the Mood Disorders Clinic is suggesting that everyone in Canada be diagnosed with Winter Depression and medicated appropriately. The second and third symp- toms are necessarily the same. And furthermore, it seems fairly natural for people to have an increased need for sleep in the darker months of the year. In http://www.otherpress.ca My fantasy on the beach of Mexico quickly altered, and I saw myself obsessively pulling at my hair and yelling we obscenities at frightened beachcombers. fact, animals sleep more in the winter so why should- nt we? As for the last two symptoms on the list, weight gain is consequential of an increased appetite. And in a cold climate an increase in appetite is a successful method of insulation for any furless being. Thus, I believe the idea of Winter Depression to be bunk. If you read those symptoms and consid- ered that you may be eli- gible to be diagnosed with this disorder, I sug- gest the following: 1. Get busy! A common reason for people feeling down in the winter is of constant activity. 2. Just get some exercise! “You've got to spend money to make money.” Ever heard this before? Good. The same goes for energy. And that takes care of the loss weight gain too. So take my advice, always be wary of impossibly effortless money making ideas. It’s likely that they actually are impossible. You have to work hard for your money, and if you do maybe you will be too busy to think of taking medication to cure fictional disorders. Page 5