Volume 18 Number 8

 

Attention:

If you see anyone selling hot
multimedia equipment, it's probabl
from lecture hall 1614. Please nay

the authorities...

 

 

 

 

 

And now a message from our sponsor:

February 9, 1994

Graphic by Rose Yen Hsin Wan

Stupid and Dumb

written by OsCaR Carefoot

Its time for some serious work to be
done. Sit down in front of your
computer.and finish that report. No.
I will not. I will not finish this re-
port because it is much more inter-
esting unfinished. I_ like
unfinishedness. I like using poor
words to explain my feelings. I liked

that girl in my drama class in a big-

way; not a sexual way, though, but a
big way. I liked her more than a
piece of half cooked bacon, but not
Washington bacon, bacon more like,
like, Revelstokian Bacon. Good stuff.
But then the vision begins to fade as
they always do and there is this un-
finished report in front of my kisser.

I wish I had some cocktail weenies.
They would be quite scrumptious to
say the least. I wonder who came
up with cocktail weenies? Probably
the Prince of Wales. The Prince of
the Weenie. Yeah, that’s right. He
grows them in his splendid backyard
using the coveted weenie seeds.
What if I were to go to Wales and
break into his backyard and steal the
weenie seeds. I'd start my own com-
pany starting with a private personal
army. They'd all have weenie uni-
forms and submachine guns that can

obliterate forty people in three point -

nine seconds. But again the vision
starts to fade, my army of cocktail
weenies march into the distance to
leave my eyeballs stapled to a com-

puter screen. I hate stupid stuff. You
know, really dumb stuff, that leaves
you saying, “boy, this is so stupid. I
can’t believe I'm watching this dumb
thing. I’m so stupid to be here, all
by myself watching this stupid dumb
stuff. I’m above all this dumb and
stupid stuff. It is stupid for me to
be anywhere near all this dumb stuff.
And you know, I am not stupid at
all. Or dumb. But this dumb stuff
and stupid stuff is just
so.....S0....dumb and stupid that I’m
all upset, and being upset is so....so...
dumb and stupid.” Darn. This
screen didn’t go away. I'd rather be
in Revelstoke looking for a purple
frog.
-OP-