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LETTOR

Well, we’re back from our little hiatus, and boy, have a lot
of things changed since last we spoke. Stephen Harper
and his Conservatives won a minority government in the
federal elections, I have returned from Mexico, damaged
but breathing, and Mid-terms are starting to make the
journey from our collective nightmares, to day timers, to
reality. ;

But more than all that, it turns out that IJ, like Lucille
Ball in I Love Lucy, “have some ’splainin’ to do.” I.mean,
we've been getting a little out of hand here at the Other
Press lately, making bold and sweeping claims with our
cover tag lines (those three little titles across the top of
each cover). These claims usually fall under one of two
categories:

The horribly bad pun, or
Complete buffoonery.

It turns out that we sometimes, in our rush to make
you smile, upset some people with our poor taste and out-
right ability to bend reality to our perverse wills. I, there-
fore, would like to take this week’s Lettitor to set the
record straight on a few key issues.

“The Other Press wishes to state that News Editor,
Nicole Burton, did not vote Communist in the federal
election, as was suggested in a tag line on the cover of the
last issue (January 18, 2006). We also wish to state that Iain
Reeve is not, to our knowledge, gay (not that there would
be anything wrong with that). Furthermore, we hereby
proclaim that 9 out of 10 elderly people do not really hate
Brandon Ferguson (those numbers were admittedly soft),
and I, Colin Miley, cannot fly, is not really an alchemist,
and does not give free editorial lap dances on Thursdays
(they cost five bucks for ten minutes, no touching, no
release). Getting back to Brandon, we have never seen him

 

touching either “minors” or “miners.” We find both of
thosé images too grisly to even consider, and admit that we
were a little tipsy when we came up with those tag lines.

We would like to state, once and for all, our burning
desire, as a collective of admittedly ill repute, to see the
people of Tibet freed from tyranny, and His Holiness, the
Dali Lama, be allowed to return to his native country. We
also wish to state that the nicknames that we give ourselves
in the masthead on page two every week are purely ficti-
tious, except for the one given to Ed Keech, who really
does bear the nickname “The Western Stranger” these
days.

In addition, we wish to state that we are entirely unsure
as to which came first, the chicken or the egg. We are also
cloudy on the issue of whether life imitates art, or if the
opposite is actually closer to the truth. Finally, we wish to
state that, although we do a lot of non-sequitur-style joking
around here at the Other Press, we only do it because we
are desperately starved for both attention and thrills, and
feel a need to compensate by sitting back and lobbing ver-
bal grenades at each other indiscriminately. We understand
it’s childish and likely in poor taste, and most of us are ok
with that.”

Whew, now that we’ve got that out of the way, we’d
also like to state that this week’s Other Press is a scintillat-
ing festival of magic and wizardry, complete with super-
heroes, conservative political coups, and everybody’s sec-
ond favourite mitten, Badminton. So, with a wink, a nod,
and a Happy Year of the Dog, it’s the Other Press for
February 1, 2006.

—Colin Miley, Managing Editor

 

 

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