othereditor@otherpress.ca

 

Here’s my favourite spam email from last week, followed by my reply.

   
    

XB OB | Pweoeeh Fonteniny fontsees | BY UES wt
EERee|- Blo Alo

TO: othereditor
Subject: Truly Eye Catching!!!

 

This website will explain the benefits of LONGZ, help answer some of your
questions, and give you the chance to order and get FREE bottles at no extra
charge.

Forget about your partner faking her orgasm or not being able to please her.
You will be able to penetrate deeper so your partner will experience more
pleasure as well as multiple orgasms during sexual intercourse. 86% of

 

 

women surveyed said that they would like their partner to be more ‘full’ % @a eB | Paragraph> Font Style+ Font Size + | Bsu | == = |

sexually.

EEE -Blo Als

 

Check out the only Male Enhancement formula with a free DVD
y ; : Dear Spambot,
Customer Testimonial: My name is Charles, and | wanted to thank you for
your personal attention (and answers to my extra questions), your support
team is exceptional and made me feel like a real valued customer. Keep it up
and thanks again! -Charles, Ontario

Firstly, that was quite the “eye catching” subject line to an email about
growing my Johnson. |’m wondering, did you mean “eye catching” in the
porno flick, full-facial sense, or were you saying it like, “ol’ one-eye’s gonna
catch some extra inches and parley that into catching some extra trim?”
Either way works, | guess.

As for her faking her orgasms, |’m doing okay since | figured out how to
“yodel in the cave” properly. | mostly have the Other Press’s Sex Issue to
thank for that.

But my concern for Charles in Ontario is the real reason I’m writing. | think
Charles needs to remember “The Sexual Equation of Chinese Astrology”
when dealing with his under-endowment.

 

 

 

 

Rat + Snake + Rabbit (Pearl) = Horse + Dog +/- (Dragon)2

You know, hung like a rat + tongue like a snake + vibrator like a rabbit (but
with pearls) = a “year of the horse,” possibly doggie style, give or take a
couple of sessions chasing the dragon. It’s okay that you’ve got a penis the
size of my baby sister’s thumb, Charles, just focus on balancing the
equation. It’s all about balance.

 

 

Best,
Colin Miley, Managing Editor, The Other Press