Party Prospects: The Themes

Oh, the parties you’ll throw!

By Jacey Gibb

erhaps this observation is a bit cup-

half-full, but it looks like the semester

is already half over, which means
summer is on approach. Say goodbye to
books and teachers’ dirty looks and embrace
the sun and partying during the week again.
Parties are a staple to postsecondary society
SO it’s inevitable that sooner or later, you’ll
end up hosting one of your own. There’s
nothing more soul-crushing than throwing
a snoozer though, so I’m here to let you in
on a secret lurking within every successful
party thrower’s utility belt: a great theme.
While drinking games and alcohol-fuelled
antics never get old, attaching a theme to
your party gives the attendees an objective,
by encouraging them to get creative with a
costume or some other way to tie into the
evening. Here’s a list of some recommended
themes to help you break away from the
usual toga party-bread and butter.

 

Ww.
up’ party- a perfect theme. It’s direct enough
to give people an idea of what they should

be dressing up as but is general enough that
it’s not restricting. A few people will take
the theme seriously but the majority will
come up with ridiculous careers choices
like Optimus Prime, a dog or Pocahontas.
Unfortunately, as the host, you can’t really
decorate for this one.

A shotluck- If executed correctly, this
one can be a blast; in the wrong hands,
you'll end up with a room full of people
puking by nine thirty. Have everyone bring
a 2 6 of their favourite hard alcohol and
then have them try to dress accordingly (an
example would be bring Malibu rum and
dress tropical). Make sure to stock up on
disposable shot glasses and designate a table
to be the shotluck table.

Beer Olympics- Easily the best AND
worst party I ever threw. It only works
with a smaller number though (we had
sixteen, plus a sober scorekeeper). Have
teams of two predetermine which country
they will be representing and make sure
their costumes match accordingly. Then
have everyone compete in drinking games,
either as a team for ones like beer pong or

(Paul

individually for games like waterfall, and
award points for the winners. It works best
if you have a sober person keeping track.
You can add rules to gain or lose points
throughout the evening, like a successful
‘That’s what she said’ gains you a point
while vomiting causes you to lose two. Tip:
Not surprisingly, you’ ll get drunk fairly
quickly during this event so make the games
simpler as the evening progresses.

‘Dr. Seuss’ party- aka wacky fun time.
While the host can draw upon the books,
perhaps constructing paper cutouts of
Dr. Seuss-like trees and putting rhyming
anecdotes in the bathroom or by the
keg, everyone else is mostly left to fend
for themselves. You can dress up as the
typical ones like the Cat in the Hat, Thing
1 or Thing 2, but you can also simply
wear articles of clothing from different
costumes and watch in amazement as your
smorgasbord of a costume makes you look
like you just wandered out of one of Dr.
Seuss’ books.

 

 

 

 

Party Prospects: The People

Oh, the idiots you’ll see!

By Stephanie Trembath

hile you’re at your swanky
soiree, it is easy to over indulge
in the festive atmosphere of

enjoying “Leisure Time”; something we
students know only comes three times a
year, and is adequately spaced out between
semesters. Unless, that is, you allot yourself
a specific set of hours per week to socialize
and then deal with the drastic repercussions
the next day when you have to work, visit
your parents, or attend a lecture. In any
case, over indulging oneself in the party
atmosphere, especially if you are adding

a theme party to the mix, is typical for
many students. So, if you find your glass
half empty, and find yourself losing vision,
slurring words, or stripping clothes, you
may want to tone it down and practise your
partying so you do not wind up like one of
these misfortunate fellows:

The Angry Drunk: This fine fellow
will be decked out in sports gear, whether
it’s a Canuck jersey or ball cap, and will
think he is a party god once enough liquor
is consumed. Carrying a 24 pack of beer
with ripped jeans and skate shoes, this guy
will be easy to spot as he will be yelling
things like “CHEERS” and “KEG STAND!
YAAAAA” with spit flying from his mouth.
If you are lucky, he will attempt slapping

girls’ asses and will wind up in a fist fight
with another red-neck sports junkie by the
end of the night.

The Stripper: There is one or, if guys
are lucky, two girls in every group that
will want to publicly take off their clothes
and begin dancing sans bra in the middle
of the room. This display would be sexy if
she could stand up by herself and wasn’t
swaying around incoherently with messy
hair and spilt drink all over her legs, but,
beggars can’t be choosers.

Jersey Shore: Yes, thanks to MTV there
will definitely be one jersey shore crew to
show up at your outrageous theme party.
Complete with spray tans, tight shirts, gold
chains, and enough hair gel to shame the
entire female population in the room. On the
bright side, they probably won’t sing “its
t-shirt time”.

The Puker: Everyone’s been there,
and while it is hilarious to watch, it’s not
very fun to clean up. This lovely vixen
will most likely still have her shoes on, be
wearing a tight skirt/dress ensemble, and is
probably underage. Her hair will be in a) a
ponytail, or b) her friends hand while she
pukes. You will not be able to tell what this
young damsel looks like because she will
be ass over elbow with her face in the toilet.
Hopefully.

The Starving Man: I realize that when

liquor is consumed, pretty much anything
that looks edible smells and tastes awesome
but there is always that one guy that will
empty the fridge despite its questionable
contents. I once witnessed a guy putting
mustard on saltines with olives mashed on
top...which goes to show, that the starving
man will consume anything and everything
that is in your cupboards or fridge. Tip;
prepare snacks.

The Vulture: Possibly the worst of all
in my opinion. You will watch this smooth
sailor try and score points with any and
every girl until he finds one that is drunk
enough to toss in a spare bedroom, a bush,
or his car, to sleep with. The best part of
this party boy—he won’t be drunk, or even
drinking. These guys will come to parties
and possibly have enough to get a good
buzz going, and then spend the entire night
preying on drunk girls. Tip for girls: don’t
be dumb.

Whether your cup is half full and
you’re having a good time, or your cup is
half empty and you need'to excuse yourself,
these articles should help you on your way
to throwing a successful celebratory end-of-
semester party, and help to ward off those
freaky fellows that show up to your house
(while aiding in making sure you don’t end
up being one of them yourself). Cheers!

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