© Opinions

the other press

e Rali thurber ®

opinionsubmit@hotmail.com

February 4, 2004

 

Edging Along
the Infringement

a

Kali Thurber
Opinions Editor

The mainstream media is
in an uproar about it, the
people are eating it up,
Mike Rowe's having a
heyday, and Microsoft
wishes it would just slide
under the rug. What is it?
Trademark infringement,
that’s what. Since Mike
Rowe developed his web-
site design business under
the suspicious name of
mikerowesoft.com in
August 2003, trademark
infringement has been a
hot topic, and has been
decidedly profitable to
the trademark-stealer.
Anyone remember
HaidaBucks? Of course
you do, because everyone
who has even glanced at a
newspaper in the last year
knows that HaidaBucks is
that coffee shop that
stood its ground against
Starbucks and their insis-
tence that any business
with the word “Bucks” in
its title is committing
trademark infringement.
Would anyone have even

heard of HaidaBucks out-
side of the Queen
Charlotte Islands if

Starbucks hadn't tried to
sue? I doubt it.

The same goes for
mikerowesoft’s, Mike
Rowe. Now that the real
Microsoft (whew, that is
confusing) attempted to
sue him, he’s a celebrity
on the web, and his site
gets a whole lot more
than it
would have before. I
highly doubt that this is
what Microsoft
Starbucks intended when
they tried suing these
small businesses for
infringement, but this is
the outcome, nonethe-
less.

The issue also brings to
mind that crazy couple,
who, when realizing their
pregnancy, publicized the

business ever

or

 

fact that they would sell
their baby’s name for, say,
a few million dollars.
They advertised over the
web that a company
could essentially buy the
rights to their baby’s
name (being whatever
company bought them
out). It turned out that
there weren't any high-
profile companies who
wanted to buy their
baby’s name—some kind
of ethical problem. But I
onder how much adver-
ising these people really
id.
Think about the bril-
iance of this plan—you
low some company to
uy your baby’s name,
our baby is forever a star,
d you get a percentage
of all sales this company
makes. Sure, your baby
: might be kind of messed
‘up for having to go
| through his/her life with
; the name of Pepsi, but
' what’s a little humiliation
‘ for a whole bunch of
{ money? Besides, you
could afford whatever
top-notch therapy pro-
gram is the hippest thing,
and the kid would proba-
bly turn into a poet or
something. I was think-
ing that when I give birth
to a child, that ’'d name it
God, regardless of the
1 gender. This surely must
| be some kind of infringe-
! ment—the only trouble
is, who hands over the
paycheques?

8.

Qa.

TRE:

<

5

t Note: As the Other Press
‘isa non-profit organiza-
tion, the use of any trade-
t mark name in this edito-
t rial is strictly for enter-
tainment purposes, and
cannot be considered
' infringement of any kind.
| Unless the reader happens
' to be God. If so, I have a
| proposition for you.

 

The Colin Conspiracy

Colin Craik
OP Contributor

Hello, my name is Colin. It’s a very
fashionable name right now, what
with Colin Mocherie, Colin Farrell,
and Colin Firth (the good guy from
Bridgette Jones’ Diary). Yep, there
seem to be lot of Colins out there.
And frankly, it’s freaking me out.
You see, I grew up in very small
community, and until I was fifteen

  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  

Colin Firth

Phil Colins

Colin Powell #

a. Page 6 e _hittp://www.otherpress.ca

I'd never known any other Colins. I'd
never heard of any other Colins. I
didn't know the name Colin was a
real name. I imagined that my par-
ents had created it by pulling five
scrabble pieces at random out of that
little velvet bag, and apparently
everyone else felt the same way—
nobody ever remembered my name
correctly.

“I know you. We met last week.
You're Bryon’s son, Carl.”

“My name is Colin.”

“Kevin?”

“Colin.”

“Kenneth?”

“Colin.”

“Kelsey?”

“Kelsey? No, Colin.”

It was a pain in the ass, but at the
same time, I liked being unique.
Then, when I was about fifteen, the
musician Colin James started to
become popular. I was shocked to

Colin James

learn that there was another Colin in
the world, and again, for another ten
years, even after I moved to a large
city, it seemed that everyone else felt
the same way.

“Your name is Colin huh?
Jaaamess? Huh, huh, huh?”

And I never got why that was
funny. Anyway, that doesn’t happen
any more, now that there are several
famous Colins. The thing is, it’s not
just the number of celebrity Colins
that has increased. I’m seeing the
name everywhere. It seems like every
day there’s another news correspon-
dent, or political analyst, or soccer
player, or theatre critic, or something
named Colin. There was even a
Colin in last week’s Other Press.
Most of these people are older than I
am. Where were they my whole life?

And the question that’s really
freaking me out—why is it that I still
haven't met another Colin. I can't
turn on the television, or open a
newspaper without seeing the name,
but I’ve never met an actual Colin. I
don't know who's involved or what
they're trying to accomplish, but I
can't help but think conspiracy.

As I’m typing this, I notice, unlike
five years ago, spell-check is no
longer telling me that Colin is not a
word. Maybe I'll change my name to

Colin

   
 
 
 
 
 
   

Colin Quinn