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Halloween hype

Musings from a
former fat ballerina

By Stephanie Trembath,
Public Relations Manager

p until this fall,

Halloween was my
favourite holiday—aside
from my birthday,
Christmas, and New
Year’s—which provided
a two-week hiatus from
reality. As a kid I loved
Halloween, adorning
myself in glitter and fake
hair, tutus and feathers,
velvet dresses and large
hats. After a three-year
devotion to a Minnie
Mouse costume my mom
sewed, I vowed never
to wear the same thing
for Halloween twice in
a row, which gave my
mom ample sewing to
do each October, and
allowed my imagina-
tion to run rampant.

My original intent for
this article was to assist
devoted readers in creat-
ing their own unique
Halloween costume. But
when I started trying on
past costumes and plan-
ning for this year, I felt all
of my excitement fizzle
like an old light bulb.

My Halloween hard-on
isn’t what it used to be,
and I’m really lacking the
inspiration to rustle up
something fun and flirty
to wear this year. Usually,
Halloween finds me up
to my elbows in fabric
and fake fangs; scouring
every thrift shop and
Value Village until my
outfit is complete. I’ll
even go as far as com-
missioning my mom to
assist in the planning and
prepping, which is a lot
to say for a 20-something
university graduate.

Musing over my
missing mojo, I began
reflecting on past
Halloween affairs and

Life&Style

 

realized that the excite-

ment building up to the
big day is actually more
fun than the event itself.
Like marriage, the act of
preparing for Halloween
is more exciting than the
few hours spent dressed
up and wandering the
icy streets in high heels
and plastic accessories.
Haunted by nostalgia, I
have a handful of vivid
Halloween memories
that shook my devo-

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tion to this epic event.
Either that, or I’ve left
Neverland and am finally
becoming an adult.

My earliest memory
of Halloween is as a
seven-year-old who
wanted to be a bal-
lerina: pink tutu, sparkly
shoes, and a neat little
bun. Only, living in the
Prairies meant three
feet of snow and too
many layers. You can
imagine my dismay

when neighbours repeat-
edly asked if I was Miss
Piggy. It didn’t help that
my sister—five at the
time—thought it best

to be a bright pink and
black cow. We looked
like a barnyard band.

My teenie-bopper
years brought invitations
to Halloween parties,
the kind that promised
themed games and
ghoulish food and parent
chaperones. My only

memory is of a time my
friends and I played a
game in the dark and
were passed witch eye-
balls (grapes), vampire
teeth (gum), and zombie
guts (cold spaghetti),
from an oracle in a gypsy
costume and bad wig
who turned out to be my
mother. Terrifying, right?
Entering university
brought on the famed
Halloween pub crawl,
which was the worst

Halloween event I ever
attended. Stuck ona
crowded bus, everyone
was double fisting small
glasses of beer and I
was stained in liquor
before I even took a sip
of my own. Driving from
pub to club downtown
Vancouver in half-hour
intervals, I quickly
learned that clubbing
was not the way to go
on Halloween, which
was probably when I

decided to try out a rave.
Thinking ravers
were better company
than drinkers—at least I
wouldn’t get spilled on—
two years ago I ended up
in a limo to the Pacific
Coliseum. Picture a
fishbowl filled with half-
naked women and guys
dressed as either soldiers
or doctors. Water was
$5 and the washroom
lineup wrapped around
the entire building. I was

fortunate enough to be
puked on by a girl wear-
ing the same costume

as myself, and forced to
wait 30 minutes to wash
off. I don’t know what
itis about Halloween,
but I always wind up
sticky and soaked in
liquor or worse.

My intent with this
brief but insightful article
was meant to motivate
and entice college youth
to get ghouled and

My Halloween hard-on isnt what it used to be, and |m really lacking the
inspiration to rustle up something fun and flirty to wear this year.

explore the many events
Vancouver has to offer
this Halloween, because
there is a lot to do on this
bedazzled holiday. But,
this year I’ll be trick-or-
treating with my 13-year-
old sister, because if
there is one sure thing
about October 31, it’s that
there’s nothing quite like
filling up a big pillow
sack full of free candy!

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