—

 

‘January 23, 1996 x on Press

into realm of deception and firmament.

| forgiveness for the lies told.

“Swallow guilt, the taste that had lingered

- Extremes that push from the earth, reaching for the sun, roots

 

On eighteen years of slavery... Medical Apocalypse

It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
Hebrews 1031

  
 

Fall from precipice of visions

The sky we touch from the earth below,

i awoke in two days and knew the pale rider had stood at my bed.
is not an illusion. .

The green grass and all the trees were gone.
For seven days i lay

covered in while to cover my shameful nakedness.
Seven tubes were my seven churches

For | worshipped the life which they gave.

In seven churches i heard the angels speak.

... perhaps an expression of disbelief.

Could you stand upon dreams?
Fill them with your imagination, your life.
Do they hold firm...

i lay as the lamb

with seven tubes,

seven horns and seven eyes,

and broke the seven seals

which contained my pills.

i saw the pale rider

i felt the earth quake and saw the stars fall from the. sky.
The greal multitude gathered in while robes

and prayers were prayed over me.

Reach to the sky,
Watch eternity wallow in absolution

in your mouth, tasting sour.

Touch the honey that swims from her eyes,
upon the milky realm of destruction. Her face rends worlds.
She has taken my life, you returned to her.

Her tears have stolen once again. Have you ever noticed how healers wear robes of while

and priesls wear robes of black?
Pestilent growth of my dream has covered truth,

the ground beneath is subtle in distress and slowly,
we rot together. i knew the first angel had come
Create the union of utmost reality, when i felt the sting of hailstorms

join in rebirth. és at the contours of my tubes.
No end to our torment we cling in an embrace. Fire mixed with blood in my stomach
Lustless, we adhere to our only comfort. and fell upon the Rarth.
But, still she holds firm; I haven’t got all of you. : A third of my body wasted.

Do we dream alike? When we enter eternity do we speak alike? Our
solitary comfort, is that our only reality? Bonds forged in somnolence
forget ecstasy. Drive toward tomorrows hidden within today. Tomorrow
is not where I want to be. I have to abscond with myself, before I
forget it within you. A steamy breath covers, obscures, the mist
upon my grass. Green, flowing, an endless scream of consciousness.
Blocked view that is within, a pulse of energy, a temptation for
dream. [Filthy thought and deed unclean, a mean in a corrupt reality.]
I can’t go. It’s not me anymore, we have changed, but I feel like
you've taken, not given. Still ..

The second angel came

and my body was all ablaze

a third of my piss lumed to blood

a third of the living creatures within me died.

When the third angel came

my waters were made bitter

and made wanting from fever.

A young, nun waved her hands over me
in hopes to heal

like Jesus.

But she felt the fever

and withdrew her hands.

immersed in your sweet, sticky nectar. Weeds are only called such if
they are not wanted, and I want everythingyour weeds in my heart.
They choke, obscure, and finally obliviate. A gentle squeeze in your
origint he speciessee it grow within and die without, these thoughts
that are our faults, dream alike. What did we really want, need,
from the other.

The fourth angel visiled my bedside.

Light was banished from the faces of my family.

In the night, late in this intensive despair,

i heard a crying nurse lose one to the pale rider
and i heard the final choking sound of last life.
After the fourth angel, .

a third of the day was without light,

and also a third of the night.

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And in the end are you truly my comfort?

What I sought in you, is it a reflection of myself

or a calming reverie of notself?

A distant dreamis that youof what I am not,

and will never be. . . you are expressionless, a facade of desire.

The fifth angel brought a star to descend through my guts.
Smoke rose from the Abyss and the Sun was darkened.
The smoke gave rise to a greal swarm of locusts

with stings like scorpions

who swarmed over no living, thing

There is shallowness within myself, we share this fault.
The lies you tell, I build fron.
And so it goes, back and forth, between fibs and fornication.

Desire is pointless.
I can explain to you my inside, but your touch tells i sought death in those days
what I cannot say, so action is better as nee, but did not find it
I reach beyond experience into the known. . God did not send the pale rider.

(I know you're lying) : He had not yet finished having his way.
Feel my wisdom as it envelops.
Does it frighten you? ;

save t.

 

RK, Bethan. on te Meta ee aes

The sixth angel came.

Within my body sulfur made war

: with the two hundred million.
Fire, smoke and sulfur rose out of my opened mouth
and | did not repent

of my sexual immoralities

of my petty thefts of divinity

of thoughts and their magic arts.

   
  

I am not weak,

there is no subservience, and again you recoil
Like our first meeting, when in your heart,

you did not trust what you sawmeand for a moment
we were separate in our individual prisons.

An inflection in your voice catches my eye.

An unbroken stare in solitarynow voicelessbondage.

The capture you revel in, lacks. .. What is amiss, tell, I don’t know. . Then the seventh angel stood before me

and condemned me to life

to endure the Beast.

Though the meek lamb be praised,
God has spit me out of his mouth.

As I am now, as contemplation drives from my mind
all warmth and happiness.

Desire surges as the tide; surf that is the sky.
I swim towards the bottom.

Light leaves’ and heavy weight, the sky below,
pressure too much to withstand.

Swim away from dreams, and into your mouth,
hold me in tremour of the sun,

the shade of the sun,

the heat of the sun,

that should be you.

I had prayed not to Him.
| had prayed to the little thief Genet.
I understood the miracle of the rose.

and i have learned that i shall not be delivered
that i will nol be spared the second death

for i have learned the deep secrets of Satan
though i am not Job

by Anon.
| pray, if there is a God over god himself,
and ask you to forgive him,

for this knowledge is to be denied to all of Heaven.
1 believe that | must suffer for his sake.

by Jaimie McEvoy