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THE STUDENTS GUIDE T0 LEWD SEXUAL ACTS

Complied by Brady N. Ehler, OP Contributor

Have you ever been left scratching your head, while your

friends bust a gut laughing about some guy named Dirty _

Sanchez? Are you and your partner tited of having the _
same old missionary-style intercourse? Do you have five
minuets to waste before studying for your class starts, and
have already cleaned your nails? If so, it just be bas lucky
day, for you have j pecs so aren upon

Yes, for the first time in the history of the universe,
space and time, here is the list of the quintessential lewd
sexual acts and manoeuvres.

WARNING: The Other Press does not condone,
recommend, or advise participation in ANY of the
following lewd sexual acts.

Basically, if you do any of this crazy shit with another
consenting adult, well, that’s your business. But come
on, how many people actually pull a Houdini after a —

Screwnicorn? Everyone knows the Screwnicorn always —

cums first. ABRACADABRA!

The Angry Dragon: Immediately after ejaculating in your
partner’s mouth, strike your partner in the back of their
head, so the ejaculate comes out their nose.

The Chocolate Glove: Defecating in a condom, freezing
it, and then using it as a sexual aid.

The Dirty Sanchez: While having sex with your partner
from behind, insert your finger into their anus. When your
partner turns around, draw a moustache on their face with
your soiled finger, and yell out, “Dirty Sanchez!”

The Donkey Punch: While having sex with your partner
from behind, immediately before orgasm, sttike your part-
ner in the back of the head, they will tighten up, thus

increasing your orgasm.

The Dutch Oven: Flatulating during intercourse.

The Fireman: Immediate before ejaculating, set your part-
net’s pubic hairs on fire, then douse the flames with your ~
ejaculate.

Golden Showers: Urinating on your partner before, dur-
ing, or after sex.

The Hot Carl: Performing fellatio on your partner, while
they defecate.

The Hot Carla: Performing cunnilingus on your partner,
while they defecate.

The Houdini: While having sex with your partner from
behind, pull out and spit on your partner’s back. When

your pattner turns around, ejaculate in their face and yell

ABRACADABRA!
Lucky Pierre: The man in the middle of a three-way.

The Mexican Chilli-Dog (a Scheizer variation):
Defecating between your partner’s breasts, then having
intercourse with them.

The Rodeo: While having sex with your partner from
behind, yell out someone else’s name, and then see how
long you can hang on.

The Roman Conquest: At the moment of climax, setting
your partner’s pubic hair on fire, then throwing salt into

the penetrated orifice.

The Rusty Trombone: Giving your partner a hand-job,
while simultaneously giving them a rim-job.

The Screwnicorn: Pleasuring your partner with a strap-on
dildo secured on your head.

The Sheizer: Defecating on your partner before, during,
of after sex.

The Shocker: Inserting your thumb into your partner’s
anus, while penetrating their vagina with 2 or more fingers.

The Stranger: Sitting on your hand for five minuets, and
then masturbating.

The Tea Bag: The act of bobbing your testicles into your
partner’s mouth, while they perform oral sex on your anus.

The Tony Danza (a variation of the Houdini): While
having sex with your partner from behind, pull out and
spit on your partner’s back. When your partner turns
around, ejaculate in their face and yell, “Who’s The Boss!?”

Tossing Salad: Oral sex performed on your partner’s
anus, with the aid of condiments.

Washing the Dog: Trying to insert both your testicles in
your partner’s vagina. This is just as difficult as trying to
get a dog in the tub.

The Western Grip: Masturbation with your hand inverted
(with the thumb facing you).

The Western Stranger: Sitting on your hand for five min-
uets, and then masturbating with your hand inverted (with
the thumb facing you).

The Other Press: Pleasuring yourself using the method of
your choice, all the while thinking of your favorite Other
Press staff member. ;

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