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OPinions

 

Hill from Hell

by Trent
I like walking.

I really like walking. It’s almost
unhealthy, this addiction I have to it.
The smaller and more intimate the
means of travel is, the more I like it. I
loathe semi trucks, I don’t mind 4X4s,
I enjoy small cars, but if left to my
own devices, I will bike, rollerblade or
walk.

I’ve walked days on end. Currently,
my deepest desire is to hike the Pacific
Crest Trail, a sojourn of more that
2600 miles and six months walking. I
tell you this to predicate what I am
about to say.

Every day that I face the hill from
New West SkyTrain station to
Douglas, I do so with dread.

It’s irrational, I know, but I loathe
those two blocks more than anything. I
approach it with the same acceptance
of destiny as Luke had when he set off
for Cloud City, or Gawain when he set
off from Camelot looking for the
vessel with the pestle. (Or was it the
chalice with the palace?) I don’t want
to go up the hill, but I have to. It’s my
destiny.

I start up the hill and it’s all that I
can do to keep going...past the Old
Spaghetti factory...across the
street...across the street again...up past
the corner store and Sky High
Cafe...and...puff, puff... up, to
Douglas...gasp. Oh come
on...puff...I’m...pant...not...gasp...that...out...of
shape.

You would think three years of
walking up the same hill would have
conditioned me to it by now, or at least
made me stoic in the face of my fate,
but it is not to be. You would think that
I could face such a short distance with
more verve and energy. But no, that is
never the case.

Perhaps it is the 60 pounds of books
that I always seen to wind up carrying,
even though I only have one class that
day. 60 pounds is a lot to carry up
those two blocks, but I’ve hiked
greater distances and up steeper hills
with a pack on my back before.

You know what I think it is? All the
things that I said should help me steel
myself for the hill actually cause my
deep-seated hatred. It’s only two
blocks, I say to myself. Two
blocks. But two blocks are not
long enough to bring out the
long distance conditioning,

‘ There is precious little to discover

 

by Lindquist P. Milhouse, esq.
Greetings, fellow nerds, and welcome
(back?) to Douglas College. I’m your
local gossip columnist and all around
snazzy dresser, Lindquist P. Milhouse.
I’m not really an esq., but I think it has
such a pleasant ring to it. My father is
George Lindquist Milhouse, so I
suppose I could get away with calling
myself Lindquist Milhouse the second,
but esquire is much nicer.

Now that you all have my name
firmly entrenched in your brains, I
would like to divulge unto you the
secrets of this fine institution, such as
they are.

For those of you who have been
away over the summer, you’ve missed
one heck of an interesting semester.
The biggest item of note, of course, is
the abduction of Susan Hunter-Harvey.
Oh, I know what the college board
says, that she resigned, but why did
she disappear so completely and so
quickly? One day she’s president, and
the next day, boom! Not a sign of her
anywhere. My sources say the CIA
was involved, and possibly a secret
sect from Bavaria (the same one that
was behind Bruce Lee’s mysterious
disappearance and all the reported
Elvis sightings.), but I’m still not
convinced that it wasn’t aliens.

Speaking of aliens, wasn’t
Independence Day a disappointment?
You would think they’d take seriously
the incident at Roswell, but they
turned it into a joke! The whole thing

was a sham, put out by the military

nor is it long enough to take bus on the
days that I don’t feel like walking.
(I’ve thought about it though. I’ve
thought long and hard about hopping
on the 120, powering up the hill and
then just walking down half a block.
But I cannot. My sense of honour, if
nothing else, prevents me.)

And three years of walking up the
same hill does not make me resolute; it
makes me bored. That’s it right there.
Three years of walking the same two
blocks over and over. Three years of
the exact same scenery. Three years
caught in a rut, not going anyplace
different. Not seeing anything new or
exciting. That’s what drives me on
when I walk to the top of Lynn
Mountain or to Widgeon Falls. That’s
what keeps me going around the base
of Mt. Robson and calls me deeper
into Golden Ears. The newness, the
freshness, the sense of discovery.

between the SkyTrain station and
Douglas, and what there was I
discovered long, long ago. (Oh, look!
A new advert for Extra Sugarfree
Gum! Garsh! I would have walked
three blocks to see that!)

I am, at heart, an adventurer. I want
to see the new, the different, the
exciting. Give me mountaintop vistas
and rugged dirt paths, not pavement
and urban decay. Give me silent
forests and babbling creeks, not
crowded streets and cars belching
poison. Give

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, that’s just my two cents.
Hunter-Harvey wasn’t the only
resignation around here over the
summer, either. Athletic Rep Chantelle
Desharnais resigned from the student
society over rumoured personality
conflicts and moved on to bigger and
better things. She is now representing
students on the Douglas College
Board.

On the good news front, the Student
Society finally started construction on
the new student building. And it’s
about friggin’ time. Many people are
convinced that this strange event (i.e.
something actually getting
accomplished) is due to SS president
Katrina Lennax’s extreme force of
personality. However, after 7 years of
collecting money for the building, I for
one don’t care why it’s getting built, I
just thank the stars that it is.

Not everything was roses for the
student society. They suffered one of
the most audacious bits of burglary
this school has seen in a while when
the student society offices were broken
into in the middle of the day. Don’t
believe this was a daring crime? Go
take a look at the student society office
some day. Look through the glass
walls. Look at all the students walking
about you. Look at the security office,
scant feet away from the student
society. You gotta admit that that thief
had some gall.

The most amusing event by far has
been the furor surrounding the new
Douglas College logo. Some people
have argued against the change
because the aesthetic value of the new
logo is institutional, not representing
the human element of Douglas. Most
people have just taken issue with the
$14 500 price tag that hangs from one
pointy corner of the triangle. There’s a
really nice bit of propaganda that
explains the symbolism behind the

Rumours from the Milhouse

logo, but it seems to me that if you’ve
got to go through all the trouble to
explain the symbolism, something is
not working. Tom Childs from Audio
Visual and Katrina, the
aforementioned student society
president, are two of the most
outspoken opponents of the newly
finalized logo. Staff returning from
their nice summer holidays have been
shocked and dismayed to discover the
new logo. It’s official now, but expect
to hear people complaining about the
triangle motif for years to come.
Other Press Editorial Resource
Person Trent Ernst spent a blessed
month away from the office as he
gallivanted across the country, but he
has now returned to continue his reign
of terror at the OP. Fortunately, he
doesn’t actually read the paper, so I
feel quite safe writing this. Trent, a
power-mad tyrant, was hired last year,
much to the chagrin of the OPS ;
collective. A failed assassination
attempt early in the summer left two
OPer’s mortally wounded, and the
spirit of the collective broken. If you
want to help us fight this petty dictator,
contact me, Lindquist P. Milhouse, at
the paper. Thanks. Solidarity, brothers!
Things are starting to heat up in the
student society as the Canadian
Federation of Students (CFS) once
again rears its ugly head. Five years
ago, Douglas dropped out of CFS, but
CFS refuses to acknowledge that fact,
saying that the procedure Douglas
followed was illegal. Over the
summer, while student society
president and CFS detractor Katrina
Lennax was away, the society voted to
send four delegates to the CFS 3
meeting August 21. $240 000 per year
in society fees and the fate of the
Douglas College Student Body are at
stake here, so blood pressure levels are
running high. More on this next issue.

 

mea 4d entertainment complex to mislead and
mountaintop ee FE Ee . misguide people. Everyone knows
experience ae - that the aliens are not big cat-eyed
where I can ry ' creatures with bio-mechanical
commune Nd 4 exoskeletons! Sheesh. How are they
with God | supposed to infiltrate humanity if
and nature, os * they look like that? No, the real
don’t give aliens look exactly like us. Haven’t
me yet these people ever heard of men in
another day black?
of classes.
Where is the
adventure in that?

Letters...

Dear Editor,

Perhaps Mr. Andrew should have
done a bit more research? In the “real
world”, a logo can take much longer to
develop than three months. After the
initial designs have been presented, the
client then makes his/her choice(s) and
the designer returns to the “drawing
board” (no pun intended). Once
changes are made, the artwork is then
presented again (and keep in mind,

 

 

 

 

  

Welcome!

Congratulations on your new
Campus. Looking forward to
meeting you Morning, Noon and
Night.

 

 

|
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| BAKERY: CAFE

   

Pick up your Starvin' Student Car d today!

Available at the Student Society Office or the
Bread Garden.

 

Valid only at the Coquitlam Bread Garden

 

cont. from page 2

we’re dealing with a committee here,
not an individual owner/president) for
further approval/changes. This process
continues until all parties are satisfied.

The cost for logo design varies
depending on its final use. A small
two-person company may pay only
$2000, whereas CocaCola would pay
much more than only $14,500. Very
often, when a company announces
they’re having a logo design contest,
unless the amount offered is realistic,
the logos entered are usually not very
good or unacceptable. In this case, a
contest may have been viable, but
even to attract a smaller agency or an
individual designer, the amount would
still have people shaking their heads.
Marketing, image, and design are
important when promoting a product
or service of any kind. In order to

avoid future change, a simple, timeless .

design is best (check out IBM).
Having worked in the
Communications and Marketing
Office, I know how difficult it was to
use the old logo along with other
design elements. After seeing how the

“ ..come to us [the Other Press]. We’re
better than analysts.”

new logo will be used, I’m quite happy
with the change.

Change is always difficult—
especially for those who are inflexibly
stuck in a rut. As a person who owns a
small advertising consulting firm, I
just want to say that when a
corporation, whether profit or non-, is
making a major change to their visual
identity, research IS important. Image
may not be the primary selling point
for an eighteen year old fresh out of
high school (although judging from
the barrage of ads we see geared to
that age group, I wonder), but it is an
effective tool in reaching those who
are already in the workforce.

Stop complaining like a bunch of
old hens. There was a committee, they
made some decisions, those decisions
were approved by the College Board
and now it’s over—move on.

Sincerely,
Christine Unterthiner

PS. By the way, Mr. Andrew, what
does the age of either Mr. Barber or
Mr. Childs have to do with anything?

=) bia eg COY a

—Oct 17 1978
OP Editorial

(what they fail to mention is that we could also SEND you to an analyst)

 

 

LAaT +