Shis issue:

(¥ How to destroy your GPA this summer

(Y Teen arrested after tweeting about his grades
CmSYor-lecinnr- lane a Gu alcil

And more!

Been told you're too funny?
Contact: Sharon Miki, Humour Editor
M4 humour@theotherpress.ca

www theotherpress.ca

 

f 4 Eric Wilkins

‘ Sports Editor
& M sports
v | @theotherpress.ca

il uw
...because why publish fresh local
content when you can pull an
article from the newswire used
by hundreds of papers across the
country?

Adult learning centres turn out
to be “adult” learning centres

Adult learning centres are being :
: opposition refused to accept them
: as they were.

shut down countrywide after a man
complained that the education he

was receiving had nothing to do with

his intended area of study.

“T said I wanted to study
a new tongue,” explained No
Nguyen. “This was not what I was
expecting.”

Other students noted afterward
that the “y” and “n” check boxes
beside “sex” on the application
forms were a little odd.

Ron Jeremy could not be
reached for comment.

-Wreuters

‘Crosswalk’ the new favourite
dance of the transgendered
community; jaywalking on the
rise

The latest dance craze

Livewlres: May edition

: to sweep the transgendered

: community has been dubbed “the

: crosswalk.” While increasingly

: accepted as part of contemporary

: dance, the rise of the crosswalk has
: had some unforeseen side effects.

: opposition to the transgendered
: community have seen dramatic
: increases in their numbers of

: jaywalking tickets.

: tried to draw up some terms to
: change the name and eliminate

: Coffee choice found to bea
: factor in divorce

: coffee choice to be a major factor
: in finding marital success. The

: research, which involved 2,000

: cases, showed coffee to be the

: grounds for divorce 75 per cent of
: the time.

: says, ‘Let’s get Folgers.’ It’s like
: he has no filter,” commented a
: participant in the study.

 

Homophobes and similar

The inventors of the dance

some confusion, but the

-Agence Prance-Presse

A recent study has found

“My [ex] husband sometimes

Many also admitted that

: marriage was a grind they perhaps
: weren't ready for.

-Canadian French Press

By Thinkstock

 

Move over, ‘eight balls’

» Drug dealers decide to go fully metric

Sophie Isbister
Life & Style Editor
Mlifeandstyle
@theotherpress.ca

   

=

oday British Columbia’s

drug dealers have made
steps to go fully metric, as they
implement decisions made at
the semi-annual Drug Retailers
Association of BC (DRAB)
conference last weekend. DRAB
is an event where suppliers and
pedlars alike meet to discuss
issues that affect both industry
professionals and consumers.

“The metric question has
been on the table over several
conferences,’ a supplier who
only wants to be referred to as
“Snake” tells the Other Press.
“Many sellers were in favour
of keeping the status quo,
however in the last few years
a very vocal contingent of our
organization has been pushing
for across-the-board synergy of
all terminology.”

As it stands, when

: attempting to purchase drugs

: the consumer generally chooses
: between amounts ranging from
: one gram (or “dimebag”) to

: an ounce (or “zip”). This has

: understandably been the cause
: of much confusion, as a gram is
: a metric measurement that is

: only roughly equivalent to the

: 3.5 grams that usually pass for an
: eighth ofan ounce (or simply

: “eighth”).

The Other Press also spoke

to some drug consumers who

; just happened to be loitering

: outside the convention centre

: (which just happened to bea

: local public park). Eighteen-

: year-old East Vancouver resident
: Meredith Cheeba embraces the
: changes: “I don’t even know

: what an ounce is. Everyone

: in BC simply uses metric

: measurements for everything.

: This change will make my drug
: purchasing much more user-
friendly.”

Veteran user, 50-year-

old Bradley Blaze, has more
: misgivings about the upcoming

the changes, believes that an

: industry-wide shift in the way

: drugs are weighed and sold will
: have considerable benefits for

: the drug-using public. “This is

: avery important issue; one that
: Tam happy to say has finally

: gained traction.”

to get the consumer to switch

: over, representatives of DRAB

: are confident that soon enough

: distributors will be asking for
“2 grams” instead of a “QP,”

: and instead of an eight ball,

: partygoers will quickly adapt to

: requesting “3.5 grams of cocaine,
: please!”

: competition to come up witha

: new slang term for what they are
: temporarily calling “the baggie

: formerly known as eighth”

: changes. “T just, I don’t know

: man. Did you ever really look at
: the clouds? Like, really look?”

: Blaze was unable to answer

: any of this reporter’s follow-up

: questions.

Snake, who is in favour of

While it may be slow going

DRAB is holding an online

 

By Joel McCarthy