ptember 20, 1993 Nadine Rehnby printed from The Other Press Handbook blence against women will affect your life at glas College this year. Women who go to school work at Douglas will be raped or battered. bmen will be subjected to sexist jokes in class- bms, or to uncomfortable attention or touching m their male instructors or classmates. Experi- e has prepared Vancouver rape crisis centres to pect calls from women, who will be sexually as- ted when classes resume, at pub nights, house ties, socials, fraternity parties, beer gardens, and er student functions on Lower mainland Col- le and University Campuses. be and Male Power Rape is an act of violence committed by a , against a woman — simply because she is a man. It is a way men demonstrate their power pr women. Men do not commit sexual violence ause they want sex. They commit rape because y want to show us that we do not have the right say “No.” Men have already have an unfair advantage Pr women — just as white people have over peo- of colour, and rich people have over poor peo- Men who attack us use whatever power they ght have. They use physical force, even weap- s. They fire or harass us out of jobs. They betray trust. They invade our homes. They use the ernment to threaten us with the loss of our chil- n, with deportation, with institutionalization. hat You Can Do Rape is never a woman's fault. To give the pression that there is something a woman can “should have done,” to escape male violence d take away from the fact that it is men who e, and that it is men who rape, and that it is ir responsibility to end violence against women. That said, there are some things that we men can do to protect ourselves. Mostly, this is learning the attitudes we have been taught all lives — that our bodies are not our own, that should be quiet, congenial, helpful and respect- to men in positions of power. That we are gen- Know that you have the right to set limits sexual contact, and that your feelings are most portant. Worry about yourself, not him. Trust your instinct. If you feel you are be- stared down at or looked through, if someone blocking your way or is disregarding what you saying, or if you feel you are being pressured D unwanted sex, you are right. Get angry when someone does something don’t want. Act immediately with an assertive While most rapes are committed by people know, and often trust, self defence courses can useful and empowering. Assertiveness training also help us to break down our socialized “pas- as There are also things we can do to help elves and other women to fight back once we e been sexually assaulted. k out. Expose men who attack. If you see a ember. Check...Some Statistics urtesy Vancouver Rape Relief & Women’s Shelter) woman is raped every 17 minutes in Canada. ne woman in four will be raped sometime in her life, most often by someone she Other Press Telereg Extravaganza! Violence Against Women woman in immediate danger, call for help. If you suspect a woman is being battered, get involved — at least by giving her the number of a crisis line or safe shelter. If a woman is coming to you for help, it is important that you listen to her with in a non- judgemental way. She needs to be able to tell her story and express her feelings as well as figure out what to do about the assault. If you are having trouble backing her up, call a rape crisis centre. En- courage her to call. Or, if she would prefer, call on her behalf for information or referrals. Remember, she is NEVER to blame. Both Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’ Shelter andWomenAgainstViolenceAgainstWomen have a 24-hour crisis line, and offer support, infor- mation, referrals and advocacy for women who have been raped. Women from these organizations will, whenever possible, accompany you to the hospital, police or courts. As well, they will help to build a plan with you so you can fight back. Your right to confidentiality and to decide for yourself what ac- tion you will, or won't take will be respected. As well, Vancouver Rape Relief operates a shelter for women and children who are not free from attack, or the fear of attack. Phone numbers for both Vancouver Rape Relief and Women AgainstViolence Against Women are listed in the directory. Call these numbers any time. Or join. The work to end violence against women can always use new volunteers. What Men Can Do Violence against women will only end when men realize and deal with the fact that we will no longer tolerate a world in which our only protection against you is to lock ourselves away. What can you do? Stop raping and batter- ing, sexually assaulting and sexually harassing women and children. When you hear no, back off. If you hear no and continue sexual activity, you are sexually assaulting. And remember, a “yes” ex- tracted through aggression, manipulation or fear of withdrawal of security, money, employment or love is not okay. It’s rape. Speak out against rape, and talk with other men about ending rape. Interrupt jokes that are demeaning or pro- mote violence against women. Challenge images of violence against women in advertising and por- nography. Support laws that encourage men to take responsibility for ending rape. Listen to women friends’ fears and concerns for their safety, and to their anger, without being patronizing or condescending. Do not take power out of their hands. Pay attention to cries for help. Change whatever you are doing that helps create a culture where rape is possible. Support women and men working to end rape. Men who refuse to be violent with the women and children in their lives can do many things to support our struggle. CallVancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter to find out how. ne in eight girls is sexually assaulted before the age of 18, usually by a male family 4% of women living with men will be struck at some time during the relationship. 0% of rapes reported to us, and most battering child sexual assault, takes place in e home - the place we are supposed to be most safe. 0% of women are sexually harassed on the job at some time during their work life. Programs and Services for Women The Women’s Centre is for community and college women of any age who are thinking about their personal development. Personal development may involve changing educational or em- ployment plans or learning specific skills to help in making their way more productively through society. The women’s centre provides services to women in order to assist them in achieving their goals. Some of the services provided are: # Information about educational opportunities and career options; @ Information about community services and resources; Referrals to appropriate services and resources; @ Workshops on a variety of topics such as time management, test anxiety, self-esteem and confidence building; communication skills, math, science and technological anxiety, etc.; Childcare subsidy for financially needy students using the Douglas College Early Childhood Education Centre; ® A resource centre containing books, research materials and pamphlets of interest to women; ® Assistance to women who have been out of school for a few years and who are now wanting to re-enter the education system; @ Advocacy services. For further information or an appointment, contact the Women’s Centre at 527-5148.