OUI LAM HIS WEEK ee

Screw the Dew, Wannabe Cops

By Brady Ehler, Coquitlam Rep.

Within my multi-semester stint as your charismatic and almost unbearably entertaining
Coquitlam representative, up until this point, I hadn’t written a single article specific to
Burquitlam or the west-Coquitlam region. Therefore, it is with great pride almost equal to
my massive*disgust, that I present to you a piece about The Foggy Dew Bar and its goon-
ish security force.

In the Tri-Cities, if you’re even a causal member of the bar/club scene, you know that
the two most popular watering holes in the region are The Cat and Fiddle and The Foggy
Dew. Personally, I think the Cat and Fiddle is a shitty bar, but this article isn’t about the
Cat and Fiddle, so that’s all I am going to say about it, except that it’s a shitty bar for many
of the reasons the Foggy Dew is a shitty bar. The Foggy Dew, aka—The Foggy Spew,
aka—The Soggy Goo, aka—M&M Meat Shop Dew advertises itself as an Irish pub. In
actuality, the Foggy Dew is about as much akin to an Irish Pub as popular recording artist,
Shaggy, is to a reggae artist.

Here are some of the attributes that make the Foggy Spew one of the most popular
bars in Coquitlam: long lineups, crowds of drunken youth that probably didn’t vote
because they didn’t think it was as important as staying
home and watching American Idol, a lack of places
to sit, hockey games on 500 small televisions
(without audio), and a tiny dance floor,

   
  
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   

with it’s own complementary bar band
that specializes in rock hits from

then and now. Alright, alright, to

be fair, the bar band is pretty

good.

Perhaps the biggest reason that I dislike the Spew so much is their self-important secu-
rity staff. Said staff is employed by contract C.O. Genesis security. Now, it has been my
experience that bouncers and doormen at this kind of bar are almost always dicks, howev-
er, contracted security guards push the envelope. I get the impression that the vast majori-
ty of these ox-like alpha male types are wannabe RCMP officers that are either on a wait-
ing list to go to Regina for training, or don’t have high school education and thus don’t
qualify to become a police officer. Anyways, part of the Genesis Security protocol is to
confiscate any controlled substances they find on club goers. A friend of mine had a bag
of pot taken from him by a security guard the weekend before, but that didn’t stop us
from going to the Dew last Saturday. My friend was wise enough to roll what left he had
of his stash into a joint and smuggled it in with the help of a female friend and her
brassiere. After enduring the line up, we had to endure a body search, complete with a
high-tech hand held metal detector.

If you aren’t carrying drugs or a gun, you're allowed to go inside (provided you meet
dress code), where you are immediately instructed by a security officer to use the manda-
tory coat check. Yep, the coat check is mandatory and if you have a hat, or similar acces-
sory, you have to check that too, and there is a guard whose only appatent duty is to make
sure no one walks into the bar wearing a scarf. Once inside and wading though the sea of
people, it is common to see a black-clad guard here or there, crossing his arms and trying
to look important, making sure no one is making out on the dance floor or radioing for
backup if they see someone throw a play-punch.

It is no wonder after a long night of watching nubile young women in tight clothing

in an atmosphere that is essentially devoted to people looking to “hook up” that the
security guards get aggressive. Also, I wonder what happens to all the drugs they con-
fiscate. I was recently given a depiction of a police party by an associate who
claimed to have been to several.
The scene he painted was
one of wild debauchery,
fueled by confiscated
marijuana, alcohol,
cocaine, etc. I wonder
if there is any truth to
his claims. I wonder if

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