grow is a captivating pastime.
The results were shattering,
and Jell-O was banned from

any weapons used by any of
the forty people in the
Canadian army. These tests
were buried and covered up by
the US government because

they knew full well the effects
of Jell-O turning people into
raving psychotics.

“The reasoning was that the
Canadians had used
Strawberry flavour, and we
Wanted to see what Grape would do.”
Says US army scientist Derrick
Smythe. “We did similar tests, but
with inconclusive results using Grape.”

The real truth was that the results
were conclusive, and had to be covered
up. The documents were misplaced by
the government after Lance Oswald
went on a killing spree after ingesting
the Grape substance.

Not for another half century would
the debate about the effects of Jell-O
return. Scientists did an autopsy on
Oswald's great grandson Lee Harvey
after the John Fitzpatrick Kennedy
assassination and discovered Oswald
was high on Grape at the time of
the murder. The infamous
grassy knoll was

examined, and a

 

trace amount of
purple powder
was lifted off.
This insight
into the murder
was taken
underground,
and the scien-

"

idea

tists involved were
shot. It was not until

Greg Heward found the docu-

 

ments earlier this year that the truth
about Jell-O began to be uncovered: “I
found the documents” says Heward.
Jell-O’s devastating effects were evi-
dent, and were made into weapons
used in Vietnam. Calling it “Napalm,”

the government hoped to quiet down

the fact that their weapon was really

not gas and phosphorous, but made by
using a Lime Jell-O base with Cheez
Whiz to make it stick and bologna
with macaroni in it as the caustic
agent.

Hao Lo can still remember the hor-
ror of running down the street scream-
ing: “I remember running down the
street screaming trying to get away
before that meat stuff touched me. I
still have nightmares. Seeing my family
slathered in yellow cheese, and that
foul stench of Lime everywhere. How

can

   
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 

 
 
 
 

  

  
 
 
  

 

people be so inhumane?”

With the anti-war movement gain-
ing strength, it was inevitable that the
war would wind to an end, with
Americans clearly winning it. The
Jell-O weapon appeared to be the ace
in the Americans’ hand, but many his-
torians also point to the high use of
Agent Orange as a firm second star in
winning the war. Indeed, it would
appear as though the United States
had the world in its clutches. But, they
were not the only ones looking for
impact weapons. Their soon to be bit-
ter enemy, the USSR, also had its eye
on using Jell-O for evil.

Thus began the Cold War between
the Americans and the USSR. A war
which was never actually fought for any
land, but was a time when the US was
watching over the Russians because,
they believed the Russians would try to
steal the Jell-O secret from them, like
they had done with ‘Tang so many years
before. The term“Cold War” came
about as a result of the Americans try-
ing to keep the fact that Jell-O must be
kept cold in order to solidify and
become lethal a Top Secret from the
Ruskies. The whole ordeal would be
written into the history books as a big
Red blemish to both sides.

With the Cold War over, it seemed
that a world-wide weapons cease fire
was in order, and indeed, many
countries began destroying

their vast arsenals of
Orange and Black Cherry
bombs. It
appeared that
Jell-O and its
derivatives

} could be