a ——
(Putte

 

 

 

How Gary B

 

merica:
fast food
lifestyle, gas

id guzzling cars and the
e f} dirtiest politicians

in North America. Americans believe they
have a democratic right to be ignorant,
hardly care for the environment and believe
that their laws should apply to everyone in
the world. I should know; I’m one of them.

To be fair, Americans have done their
share of good deeds in the world, but a lot
of bad has come out of their country. But
Americans have one thing more than any
other they ought to apologize for: they’ve
ruined hockey.

Hockey is the true Canadian sport, and
has been for over 100 years. Regardless of
what anyone says, it is the national sport
of Canada, not lacrosse! Canadians don’t
go to a bar and watch lacrosse games, they
don’t grow their beards out and wear jerseys
during lacrosse playoffs, they do it for
hockey. Let’s face it, hockey is to Canadians
like alcohol is to college students; going

more than two

 

 

 

days without it
is asin!

Sadly,
hockey began
a dark era in
February of
1993 when
Commissioner
Gary Bettman
took over our beloved sport. Gary Bettman
(who used to be NBA vice-president) has
had a secret agenda to “Americanize” the
frozen game which has been evident since
becoming commissioner.

Let’s focus on current events, shall we?
This year, the Phoenix Coyotes announced
that they were bankrupt and either needed
financial assistance or they were going to be
relocated. Bettman stepped in and said that
Phoenix doesn’t need relocation, and that
moving a team every time they go bankrupt
would rob a city of its fans.

What a fucking hypocrite. In the early
‘90s, Bettman moved several teams around
the NHL with complete disregard for their
fan base. 1993 saw the Minnesota North
Stars (a state that actually enjoys hockey)
moved to Texas and renamed the Dallas
Stars. My family is from Texas, and as my
grandfather puts it, “In this state, hockey is
just another word for shit.”

In 1995, the Québec Nordiques were
moved to Colorado and then became the
Avalanche. Essentially, Québec built an
incredible team, so good that during its first
year in Colorado, they won the Stanley Cup.

The next two teams to move were the
Hartford Whalers, becoming the Carolina
Hurricanes in ’97, and the Winnipeg Jets,
becoming the Phoenix Coyotes in ’96.
Aside from moving teams around, Bettman
expanded the NHL by six more teams
between 1993 and 2000. They are the
Florida Panthers, Anaheim Ducks (formerly
the Mighty Ducks), Nashville Predators,
Atlanta Thrashers, Minnesota Wild and

 

Columbus Blue Jackets.

So Mr. Bettman, you obviously don’t
care much about a fan base if in seven years
of being commissioner you move around
four teams and pull another six out of thin
air. Being a lawyer, enjoying the game
obviously doesn’t register with you.

Back to Phoenix. The Coyotes have
a record as one of the worst teams in the
league having never finished at the top of
their division, and only qualifying for the
playoffs four times only to be eliminated
in the first round. In the last seven years
they haven’t finished in the top eight in
the Western Conference and have virtually
never made a profit. Bettman still insists that
the team should stay in Arizona despite its
floundering tendencies since its existence.

This year, in a repeat of his 2007
attempt to buy and relocate the Nashville
Predators, Jim Blasillie placed a bid to move
the Coyotes to Hamilton for $212 million.
This bid is about $50 million more than any
other offer the team has received, and yet
still Bettman is putting his little foot down
to keep the team in Phoenix. What an idiot;
he’s trying to save a hockey team in the
middle of the desert. Is he suffering from
heatstroke?

What Bettman is apparently standing
for is the fans of the Coyotes. What fans? In
Phoenix, it costs $9 to go to a coyote’s game
and Taco Bell will throw in a free chalupa.
Even with that kind of a deal, the population
at regular season games rarely reaches
5,000. In Vancouver, it costs around $80 just
to get in the door at GM Place, and almost

* every night is a sell out. That is what I call a

fan base, Mr. Bettman.

Let’s look at the Canadian side of
things. In the NHL, about 55-60 per cent
of all players are Canadian and the Coyotes
are no different. In fact, Phoenix’s coach,
general manager and captain are all born
north of the 49" Parallel. In my eyes, this
team has given all it’s got, but just can’t
make it work. The fans aren’t there and the
team is not respected regardless of major
Canadian involvement. It has now been over
a decade of failing, so I think it’s time to
just give up, Gary.

If Bettman knew any better, he
wouldn’t have moved the Winnipeg Jets
to Phoenix in the first place, after all, they
had a solid fan base and a quality team.

The deciding factor in moving the team
away came when management refused to
build a new arena for the Jets to play in
that contained 2,000 more seats, which was
considered a standard for the NHL under
Bettman. The owner eventually gave up and
sold the Jets to Phoenix under “new NHL
pressure,” a.k.a., Bettman, didn’t give him —
much choice.

A similar situation happened a year
earlier in Québec when Nordiques owner
Marcel Aubut decided to play roulette with
the team and sell it to the highest bidder,
despite a solid fan base. The new NHL’s
call for higher salaries and newer arenas
hamstrung the Canadian hockey world
as the NHL was now in sync with the