issue 04 // volume 42 humour // no. 23 BOOKSTORE Image credit Ed Appleby BREAKING: Student still in bookstore line up » A great and terrible journey Chandler Walter Humour Editor, 4 humour@theotherpress.ca t was a cold and rainy Tuesday when we spoke to Kyle Sherwood, the last remaining member of a line that, to him, seemed to span miles. Sherwood had been waiting diligently in line to receive his textbooks so he could start this semester of college off on the right foot. Unfortunately for Sherwood, he joined the line at the first day of classes. “I figured I would just pick them up after class,” Sherwood said. “But the line—it was just so long. | figured I would wait. And I've been here ever since.” Sherwood, clad only ina T-shirt and shorts due to joining the line on a beautiful summer : day, has tried his best to get his : books, though every day it seems : : he gets further and further down : : the line. “It’s my own fault, really. : I'm too nice. The people in : front of me let their friends in : line with them, and then those : people let other people cut. One : time I was about two feet away : from the door. That was really : something.” It appears that even : though Sherwood has been : waiting patiently for weeks now, : a new line always forms while he : : : . : is sleeping against the concrete its most formidable: shortly after : of the school, and Sherwood is simply too polite to cut in front. We talked to Sherwood’s : professors about whether : the textbooks are really that : : necessary, or if his entire odyssey : : had been for naught. “I mean, you should probably buy the textbook,” : philosophy professor John Falas : said. “We use it every once ina while. Do you need it to pass this class? Not really. But if you want : to get an A, it really wouldn't : hurt to have it.” When we told Falas about : Sherwood, the professor merely : shook his head. “I remember that : kid from the first day. He was so : eager to learn, so ready. It’s too : bad [had to fail him; he’s been : skipping class too much. Hell, : IT haven't seen him for weeks. I : thought he’d dropped out.” The story was the same in : each of Sherwood’s classes that : were visited. Unbeknownst to : him, he had failed out of all the : classes he was trying to get the : textbooks for. When Sherwood heard the bad news, he seemed : surprisingly chipper. “Oh well,” : he said. “There’s always next ? semester.” Image via thinkstock Top 15 click-bait articles of the week » These articles are going to have you howling! Chandler Walter Humour Editor, 4 humour@theotherpress.ca The five hardest math equations in my homework tonight These numbers will drive you crazy! The top 10 leaves I saw on my way home from work the other : day Number six had me in tears! You aren't going to believe what this girl did after her boyfriend cheated! (Here’s a hint, they’re still together!) Seven most popular N.Y.C. roofs to jump off of Do you live near any of these? u things that will keep you and bae together #1: stop calling each other bae. 231 potato chips that look like Russian Czars See how many you can recognize! 27 ways to tell you're addicted to click-bait articles The fact that you're still reading this is one of them QUIZ: What type of breakfast : egg are you? : I got scrambled! : Sandals or Crocs? : Three university professors : offer their input : Top four GREATEST places to : hide a body : Number three is closer than : you think! EXLUSIVE pictures of Donald : Trump UPSKIRT : View at own risk 17 cutest pictures of baby : centipedes : AWWWWWWWWWWE : 10 clickbait articles that I have : had to write that have ruined : my motivations as a writer : They suck my soul right out of :; my body! : 11issues cavemen never had to : put up with : Imagine NEVER having to : deal with Wi-Fi passwords! : Only kids born in the ’20s will : remember this! : Remember how greatly : depressing everything was? : [FULL GALLERY] / BYE PANCA’ | {i tw Gone 7e *: y EX. \ see my ) PANDA JEALOUS PUN 33 PANDA | HUNT AND KILL Tumele by Sarah Walker, Senior Columnist