Dr Frankenlechinheimer
Calls Out Gordon Campbell
and Carole James

Skippy McGuire, OP Contributor

s the provincial election heats up and alterna-
Ae tive parties, be it the Green Party or the Work

Less Party, start to gear up to try and get their
slice of the political pie, another new party is about to
make a stormy debut on the BC political scene.

The: patty, «led by -oDx m Roosevelt | P.
Frankenlechinheimer, is the BC World Domination
Party (BCWDP). Their goals are simple: turn the citi-
zens of British Columbia into an elite fighting force of
genetic mutants and super geniuses, and enslave the
rest of humanity to build a giant super laser to destroy
the evil mole people living on the planet Mercury.
While these goals may seem simple, they are complex
and require the help of every person in BC, willing or
not.

The BCWDP claims that while the Liberals and

 

NDP waste time attempting to understand and work
with people outside BC, they are missing out on the
chance BC has to enslave mankind and utilize them as
tools to fulfill their twisted designs. While “main-
stream” parties tend to focus on healthcare, BCWDP
focuses on genetic alteration. Where the Liberals
favour financial responsibility, the World Dominators
endorse abolishing money in favour of the strong,
asserting their will over the weak in the form of mass
slavery. Where the NDP is concerned about environ-
mental issues, Dr. Frankenlechinheimer warns about
the impending attack from the mole people of Mercury
who wish nothing more than the destruction of the
human race. BCWDP ask, “Isn’t it time BC realized its
potential and voted Domination?”

So, on May 17, think about what you want.
Financial responsibility, or cybernetic modification?
Healthcare, or a minimum of ten slaves (mostly
American) working directly beneath you? Clean water,
or protection from malicious beasts from another plan-
et. This May 17, vote for a difference. The BC World
Domination Party: working hard for you, and absolute-
ly no one else.

March 30/2005

 

 

 

 

 

 

DC Department Head On the Lam

Toggler Pallison, OP Contributor

he North Shore RCMP
detachment has issued a
warrant for the arrest of

missing Douglas College administra-
tor, Miranda Shakeman. Before
disappearing, Miranda headed the
newly developed Kayak and
Cultivate Department at Douglas
College’s Technical and
Horticultural Centre (THC) on the
shores of Deep Cove. She is report-
ed to have been missing since North
Shore RCMP released a warrant for
her arrest on March 17 in response
to budding evidence that the Kayak
and Cultivate curriculum was stolen
word for word from a_ similar
department at the Holland
Academic School of Hydro-Physics
(HASH).

During the developmental stages
of the Kayak and Cultivate pro-
gram, Shakeman had worked closely
with HASH’s world-renowned
administrator Leif Stemm. Stemm
and Shakeman were arranging a
joint venture that would see the start

up K & C program at the THC use
HASH’s own four-stage program.
The exchange offered HASH stu-
dents the opportunity to visit locally,
billeting with THC students before
both programs would embark on a
three-week joint expedition of the
Gulf Islands by kayak.

In a brief conversation with The
Other Press, Stemm said: “Miranda
had recently contacted me saying
that the Kayak and Cultivate pro-
gram was cancelled due to
impending liberal cutbacks. I found
this news disappointing, as it would
ruin years of work put in towards
the joint venture. Since day one,
Gordon Campbell has pledged his
support for HASH and THC, shar-
ing a common vision of higher
education. But when I got wind that
certain members from THC’s facul-
ty were using plagiarized material to
conduct the program, we were
forced to protect HASH’s intellectu-
al property. I am sorry it had to
come to this.”

www.theotherpress.ca

In total, Shakeman is charged
with seven counts of unethical prac-
tice and copyright infringement
under international law. In what
police believe is a related incident on
the night of Shakeman’s disappear-
ance, a THC school custodian
known as “Smilin”? Chuck Miner,
who was going about his nightly
duties, noticed a touring kayak was
missing from the campus boat shed.
Further inspection of the campus
turned up missing plants and mate-
rials from the medicinal and
horticultural laboratories.

Authorities describe Shakeman
as dangerous, with violent tenden-
cies, and ask anyone with
information of her whereabouts to
be cautious of her paddle-wielding
skills and to immediately contact
THC campus custodian, Chuck
Miner, at keepDCclean@dc.thc.ca.
Shakeman was last seen celebrating
Saint Patrick’s Day, fully accented in
green leprechaun apparel.

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