TAKE EIGHT Malas Wad tel ~ x VAMPIRE WEEKEND S/T Vampire Weekend met at Columbia University, and their lack of imagination is put on display with song titles like “Campus” and “Oxford Coma.” Most of their simplistic songs seem to be about college life; strolls through hallways, critical theory textbooks, and meeting girls at keg parties are all viewed through the eyes of a lazy and egocentric student who spends too much time playing the acoustic guitar. Stupid New York Ivy League art school dropouts; go back and finish your Goddamn degree! Seriously though, the best thing about this band is that one of the members is Scott Baio’s cousin. - Mark Fisher * REPORTING FOR + COWARDS CHRIS AYRES WAR REPORTING FOR COWARDS As a foreign correspondent for The London Times, Chris Ayres is whisked away from his job reporting on Hollywood happenings only to find himself crammed into the back of a Humvee roaring across the Iraqi desert circa 2003. Ayres comes from “a long line of cowards” and he writes about his surreal experience as an embedded reporter with the voice of a journalistic everyman. He strips away all the glamour and mythology surrounding war reporting, and his account is all the more impressive and important for it. I’m sure such praise seems a little self- congratulatory coming from someone who fancies himself a journalist, but I'd be willing to bet my flak jacket and gas mask that Ayres story is one of the most honest and accurate portrayals of conflict journalism in the latter half of the 20" century. - Luke Simcoe MGMT ORACULAR SPECTACULAR This is the debut album from electro- rock band MGMT (pronounced “management’). The songs are very reminiscent of The Flaming Lips, and I would think that if you’re a big fan of The Lips then you’ ll like MGMT as well. I’d recommend tracking down the album’s first single “Time to Pretend” (there’s an amazing video for it on YouTube). It’s a mind-blowing song: Great trippy music, and deep lyrics that you can puzzle over for days. Unfortunately, most of the other songs don’t manage to maintain the same level of quality, and some are just downright stupid (see: “Electric Feel”). The band definitely has lot of potential but they’Il need to get more serious on their second album if they want to go anywhere. - Mark Fisher PROTEST THE HERO FORTRESS Whitby, Ontario’s PTH arrived on the scene in 2003 as a hardcore math-punk outfit, riffing and soloing away over highly political lyrics. They weren’t bad. However, it seems like somewhere on the journey from there to here they stumbled into someone’s mushroom patch, as their latest effort, Fortress, is full of cornball metal riffs and lyrics like “Shah-jan, the king of kings, wore seven rings and 60 feathers plucked from sparrow’s wings.” WTF? According to the band, Fortress is a concept album about goddess worship, and it’s based on the ridiculously strange combination of Genghis Khan and Irish mythology. Call it what you want boys, it still sounds like Dr. Seuss meets 300. - Luke Simcoe LOMOGRAPHY FISHEYE2 My girlfriend got me one of these for Christmas, and it’s become my new favourite toy. Essentially a gimmicky, mostly plastic camera with a fixed 170mm lens on it, the Lomo Fisheye 2 has rekindled my forgotten love affair with traditional film cameras, In addition to sparking up that old flame, it’s also caused a mild obsession with all things Lomography-related. I’ve since set up an account on lomography. com, and begun sharing and viewing images with other lomophiles. I’ve also decided that I need to purchase a number of their vintage style cameras in order to maintain my existing level of material happiness. Man... don’t get into photography; it’s worse than heroin. - Luke Simcoe MAYNARDS SWEDISH BERRIES The next time you’re at the vending machine, seriously consider choosing Maynards Swedish Berries. These chewy, flavourful candies are an excellent way to satisfy your hunger and taste needs if you don’t have the time or the funds for lunch. While Swedish Berries may be a step up from regular candy and chips at $1.50 instead of the standard $1.25, they are well worth it. They have an excellent taste to them and last much longer than your average candy bar, allowing you to fully savour the succulent taste. With so many options in today’s competitive candy market, there are a number of difficult choices; choose Maynards Swedish Berries, however, and you know you'll be getting the whole package. - Garth McLennan February 4, 2008 gp Two of your oxen drowned when you tried to ford the rivpr. 10.6 esterday =e Dusty Kwtecien is now single. Jy Ransie Turingan ang Nadia Halim are Aow driends 2a) Rannie Turtngan and Neil Lee are now triends. /4 2g, Rannie Turingan and Doug Sheppard are now friends. « « % Harty and Voldemort naye set thelr relatlonship status to “Mortal Enemies” ify Cale Schaefer sploaded a mobite shots. ‘awe =— OREGON TRAIL FACEBOOK When Facebook members first add the Oregon Trail application onto their page, they are prompted to invite 10 or more friends onto the wagon. This is a smart way to force members to pass on applications—and to annoy those on their friend list. The next thing users notice is the poor, cartoon-like graphics of the game. Although the original graphics of the 80’s edition of Oregon Trail were simple and plain, the foolish new look of the game makes a mockery of this elementary school classic. Oregon Trail is a serious game; no one laughs when Katie breaks an arm, and it’s a sombre event when wagon-mate Pooface dies of dysentery. Those looking for a positive travel videogame experience should stick with the original Oregon Trail, where it only takes one shot to down a buffalo (not three) and only $5 to get help from a Native (not $200). - Laura Kelsey [tp a slag din mmr m9 re’ Has mare An REY NICHOLAS GUREWITCH THE TRIAL OF COLONEL SWEETO You may not recognize his name but you’ ve probably seen his comics. For several years now, Nicholas Gurewitch has been drawing the wonderfully dark, absurdist webcomic known as the Perry Bible Fellowship, earning worldwide fame in the process. Colonel Sweeto marks PBF’s first debut into print, and the handsome little book contains nearly every comic Gurewitch has ever published online, as well as some that weren’t so lucky. The comics are just as hilarious and charming on paper as they were onscreen. Perhaps even more so, in fact, as only in print can one truly appreciate Gurewitch’s considerable skills as an artist, including his masterfully detailed line and color work. The book’s only problem is that there is simply not enough bonus content. An artist interview, comic annotations, or some more exclusive art would have been nice. - J.J. McCullough 13