March 24, 2004

TE ANEW es ck Oey,

Carly Reid
OP Contributor

Many search for happiness as we look for
a hat on our heads, —Nikolaus Lenus

The beginnings of spring beckon us
towards her—a sunny day punctu-
ating the wet gloom, clumps of cro-
cuses pushing through dark soil, a
squirrel eating greedily from the
bird feeder.

Soon our grey winter will end and
give way to the season of light, birth,
and renewed vigour. The gloom will
part like a heavy curtain and we will
be...happy! Or will we?

Here’s a question for you: Are you
happy? And what exactly is happi-
ness, that word we throw around so
carelessly? Is it something so insub-
stantial and flimsy that it blows
about with the changing winds of
the seasons? If so, it must be very
temporary, as fleeting as the burst of
anger at a bad driver—sudden,
intense, and quickly forgotten. Yet,
happiness is something we, as
humans, constantly pursue. Ask
someone how they want their life to
be in 20 years, and youre likely to
hear, “I want to be happy.”

Don't we all. But does it then fol-
low that we all spend our lives in the
pursuit of a mirage that, once we
touch it, evaporates into the dull
backdrop of our mundane lives? Are
we so stupid that, no matter how
many times we're shocked, we con-
tinue to reach for the piece of cheese
we'll never taste?

I don’t think so. Not only is the

thought too depressing, it simply
doesn't make sense. We all know
someone who is happy. Not cheer-
ful, but really, wholly happy—the
type of person who glows with an
inner calm and an acceptance of life.
Happy people are the ones we watch
with a mixture of awe and jealousy,
wondering what they know that we
don’t. Obviously, we rationalize,
they must have everything they
want—the perfect life. Upon closer
inspection, though, this explanation
doesn’t always hold up. Generally,
their lives are just as challenging and
unpredictable as our own. What
these people likely do have is the
ability to enjoy the journey on the
way to what they want.

For example, if we were asked to
describe our “happy” life, we may
see ourselves as married, established
in a career, 15 pounds lighter, or
traveling the world. If that is our
happy life, what life are we present-
ly living? I wonder how many of us
hang limply, suspended between
misery and the promised land we
call Happiness. With blinders on,
we stare dazedly at the light up
ahead, withholding joy and celebra-
tion until we reach that specific
point. If that light is really the only
true happiness, we could spend a lot
of years in this uncomfortable limbo
before reaching it.

The trouble is, life can sometimes
feel like an endless stretch of colour-
less insignificance dotted with rare
moments of brilliance. In these
moments, we ascend to dizzying
heights, only to plummet back to

earth, despondent in the belief that
this kind of joy is only temporary. In
our despair we feel, in the words of
Sylvia Plath, that “[t]he wait’s begun
again,/ The long wait for the angel,/
For that rare, random descent.” We
could spend most of our lives in the
“in-between” times, waiting for
these divine events, with no guaran-
tee they will ever occur.

What if we shifted our focus away
from that one point of light and
onto the many little twinklings
around us? Happiness might not be
one rigid set of circumstances.
Rather, it might be an accumulation
and combination of countless
moments along the way to wherever

We all experience moments like
this daily, moments that could be
inconsequential and inane if we
allowed them to be. In noticing
them, we give them the significance
they deserve. And anything that
brings us joy is significant.

This heightened awareness can
also ease us through difficult times.
If we rely solely on specific, external
events—getting that job, meeting
that someone—for happiness, we set
ourselves up for disappointment,
because life rarely unfolds exactly as
we hope. We may not get the things
we want in exactly the form we
expect.

People with that aura of happiness

Happy people are the ones we

watch with a mixture of awe

and jealousy, wondering what

they know that we dont.

we're heading. We just have to be
able to recognize and acknowledge
them. And you do that by simply
noticing what makes you feel happy.

Here, for instance, are a few pos-
sible happy moments: watching
Beauty and the Beast and remem-
bering how you (okay, I) could
recite it word-for-word; grooving to
Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing”
in the car; spotting a 70-something
woman with her broken arm
encased in a hot-pink cast.

often have first-hand experience
with this disappointment. Their
lives are not always charmed. In fact,
some of the most content people
I’ve met have had very little in terms
of material possessions, but their
capacity to feel joy and their desire
to share it were huge. Most impor-
tantly, they trusted that life’s trou-
bles would work themselves out and
that we all eventually get to where
we're supposed to be. If we can also
see the small beauties that line,

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cross, and sometimes block our
path, we may stumble upon happi-
ness before we even arrive.

Of course, I’m no expert on this
stuff. I’m just a poor sap flailing
around in the dark with everyone
else. Nevertheless, for a while now
I've been feeling pretty consistently
happy. I’m not used to it, and I can’t
seem to shake it. I haven't had any
amazing life developments, and I’m
pretty sure it’s not just the crocuses
and the squirrels. It is, I believe, all
the details I’ve never noticed or con-
sidered part of my big picture of
happiness. They are part of it,
though, and they're around me all
the time.

Obviously, no one is constantly
happy. The idea is not only ridicu-
lous, but somewhat sickening, as
well. Feeling happy most of the
time, though, isn’t too much to ask.
Many of us just aren’t used to it.

So, if you find yourself singing the
blues more often than whistling a
little ditty, try tweaking your per-
spective. Adjust your focus and
develop a curiosity about the seem-
ingly smaller stuff. You may be sur-
prised at the richness and textures
inherent in the everyday. And all
those little joys may start adding up
to one big love of life. Really, you
have nothing to lose.

Just think: next year, you may not
have to wait for spring to feel that
itch of a smile twitching on your
face or that cheeky swagger sneaking
into your step. You could be feelin’
good all four seasons.

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