[ was a sad day at Other Press offices when Isabelle Ort, resident Entertainment Editor and self-proclaimed “funny gal,” ran out of good, original ideas. “T can't believe it’s finally happened,” said Orr, who looked great in a classic colour blocking outfit and who had just gotten a fresh haircut, which none of you noticed. “I thought I would be able to come up with classic, original content every single week and it would never get stale or overplayed.” Orr, who is a Sagittarius and therefore lacks direction and focus, pitched an idea to her editors that she had already written. “What's worse is that the article wasn’t even that funny,’ Assistant Editor Caroline 6¢ Ho said. “It had the classic Isabelle themes: Aggression towards men, pop culture throwbacks, and personal references that only she would understand. Really basic stuff” But why has Orr been searching for new material? “After switching medication and finding healthy coping mechanisms for my latent anxiety and depression, I found there was little else to complain about,” Orr said. “Finding mental peace (as fleeting as it may be) made it harder to be funny. Plus, I finally got my bangs to work, so that helped a lot too.” Mara Gurr and Guille Caparros, close friends of Orr who have been written Have an idea for a story? M humour@theotherpress.ca without their consent into several articles, spoke to Other Press reporters. “Though it seems like Isabelle is on a stable path right now, I guarantee she'll be back to her old neurotic ways in a short while,” Gurr said. “It’s only a matter of time.” “I give her two weeks,” said Caparros. Other seemingly random life changes, like taking on three part-time jobs, DJing, and entering a stable relationship have torn Orr’s focus away from making self- deprecating jokes. “Tjust don’t have time for that anymore,’ she said, while attempting to pull a shot of espresso, sign up fora Pilates class, commit to a tight five at a comedy Orr... is a Sagittarius and therefore lacks direction and focus ¢ Woman not mentally sound enough to watch Netflix show e Instant reviews 2019 ¢ In memoriam: Summer 2019 ..and more! show, and sell her clothes on Etsy all at the same time. “] really have my hands full with 10 to 17 unconnected activities at any given moment.’ Orr, who is heading back to school in September, reasons that this drastic change will help refine her comedy writing. “Tcan make more school jokes, about like, homework and stuff like that,” Orr said. “Or what about people clicking pens during exams? Or watching too much Netflix during exam time? That’s funny, right?” After her interview, reporters confirmed that she had already written both of the articles above. Woman not mentally sound enough to watch Netflix show » Know your limit, binge-watch within it Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor rave television aficionado Masie McKenzie stood in front of a podium at a press conference last Friday. “Tt has become clear to me that Iam not ina good place physically, emotionally, or mentally to watch the latest and final season of Orange is the New Black,” McKenzie announced. “I am simply unable to at this time.” The critically acclaimed Netflix dramedy aired its seventh and final season in late July. Viewers could choose to watch episodes at their leisure, whenever they found the time. “Obviously I was not going to do that [watch at a reasonable pace],” McKenzie said. “I was going to watch all 13 episodes one after the other, not seeing the light of day or talking to another person until I completed every single episode and updated the show’s fan-made Wikia.” What makes Orange is the New Black such a difficult show to watch? “The show is essentially trauma porn,” said pop culture analyst Chrys Lethbridge to the Other Press. “Each episode leaves the viewer feeling 9 to 10 times worse than they did before.” In the previous season, the characters in the show were split apart. Some remained in prison, some were released, and others sent to ICE detainment centres. “This show gives perspective to many themes that are necessary to examine in today’s social climate,” Lethbridge said. “The prison industrial complex, the place of women of colour within white society, and the cruelties facing immigrants in America. Unfortunately, the show is so draining to watch that one must book at least a week off work to watch, process, and heal from the emotional wounds left by each individual episode.” Why is McKenzie feeling especially wounded and vulnerable? “Well, it’s nobody’s business,” she said. “But this summer has been full of emotional upheaval. The combination of Cancer season and Mercury in retrograde left me feeling pretty worn out. That paired with friend and romantic drama, and a new diet where I can only eat for eight hours in a day, makes the thought of watching an emotional show just unbearable. “I want to go on the record and state that it’s completely okay and valid to not watch a show because you think you can't deal with it,” McKenzie added towards the end of her interview. “As someone who lives in a consumer culture, you have to be mindful of what you ‘consume’ and if it’s in your best interest to do so. Although at this time lam unable to watch this final season, I hope to one day be able to, to the best of my abilities. | am at peace with this.” McKenzie added that although she will not be watching the show, she will be diving into some explicit fanfiction.