Opinions.

Need to vent? Contact the editor at opinions@theotherpress.ca

 

A womans right is the right to choose

Misguidedly protesting
the Paramount
By Ashley Pitt, Contributor

“Strip clubs are nothing like
movies present them,” says
Lemondrop, a dancer at the
Paramount. “It’s something
you need to experience first-
hand.” Her words are fitting,
as the Paramount Gentlemen's
Club was being protested by
Dr. Charles Best Secondary
School's Social Justice class on
January 19th in Uptown New
Westminster. The students—most
of whom are not yet 18, and
cannot enter the no alcohol, adult
establishment—hadn’t even
contacted the club they were
protesting.

The students handed
out leaflets with broad
generalizations and sensationalist
claims on them, like, “100% of
[strippers] reported: physical
abuse... sexual abuse... verbal
harassment... [and] pressure to
prostitute themselves...” How
were these students or their
teacher, Ken Ipe, able to make
such claims without contacting
anyone in the industry? When
asked by CTV News if he had
contacted the club, Ipe said,
“No, but we did research them.”
The research he refers to is
Stripclubs According to Strippers:
Exposing Workplace Sexual
Violence, by Kelly Holsopple,
1998. Holsopple, a former

dancer, quoting a 1994 study

by Hearn, says, “...violence
against women is identified

as physical, sexual, emotional,
verbal, and representational, but
all violence from men against
women should be understood
as sexual violence.” With such

a hardline stance, no wonder
100% of respondents said they’d
been abused! If you surveyed 18
women—the size of Holsopple’s
sample—outside a Safeway, I bet
you could replicate these results.

This isn’t to say that violence
against women isn’t a very real
and serious issue. If you go
online and read about things like
the gang rape of a young woman
in New Delhi, or the high
profile, local Missing Women’s
Inquiry, you'll quickly see that
violence against women is no
laughing matter. But it is the
very seriousness of the issue that
makes it such a heavy charge to
lay on a long-standing, legitimate
business with no prior record
of disturbances or issues. The
criteria Holsopple uses to define
violence is a very wide net.

I can’t help but wonder how
that definition would read if you
were to replace “women” with
“men,” and vice versa, then read
it over. Now what? Are women
incapable of abusing men that
way? It feels like we're seeing
the same message over and over
again. Women are weak. We
need protection from men and
from ourselves. It’s insulting
and demeaning, and how does
it make men feel? Shameful and

deviant for simply enjoying
something so natural as the
female form in a safe place. I
wonder about the damage we're
doing to men, accusing them of
sexual violence when they enter
a strip club. It’s a bit like telling a
13-year-old boy that a kitten dies
every time he touches himself.

I asked the dancers their
opinions of their choice of
occupation and the responses
were overwhelmingly positive.
“I’ve gained a lot of confidence
working here,” says Lemondrop.
“1 was faking it before and now |
believe it.”

Another dancer, Vanity, says
that the no alcohol status of the
Paramount makes for a good
vibe. And that, “The owner is
understanding and always offers
support... We’re simply dancing
and we enjoy it. We're not forced
into it. It’s work but it’s fun.”

“Tt doesn’t feel tedious.
Dancing is a whole lot better
than working retail. I feel a
lot more confident. You can’t
generalize us. Everyone has
their own story,” says another
dancer. Interesting: these women
don’t sound like the unwitting
damsels in distress that Ipe and
his students would have you
believe. Maybe they should
have used current research
and practiced critical thinking
skills before launching a highly-
publicized campaign against
people who didn’t ask for saving
and who are working within the
law... or maybe, they should
have simply called the club.

 

Don't hate the player, hate your game

Not a lack of friendliness
but a lack of skills

By Natalie Serafini,
Opinions Editor

was recently talking with

some friends, and we got
onto the subject of how many
single people there are in
Vancouver. It’s weird. You'd
think with so many singles
out there, everyone would
eventually pull a Noah’s Ark
and pair off—mathematically
speaking, it just makes sense.
Well, apparently the reason for
all the single ladies and gents is
the unfriendliness of Vancouver
women. Because women here
are so unapproachable, no

16

approaching gets done, and the
little that does ends at the “Hi,
how are you” phase. Just Google
“Vancouver women unfriendly
single” for a host of articles,
rants, and blogs on the subject.
I agree that we could all
stand to be a little friendlier,
and I enthusiastically concur
that women shouldn’t depend
on men to ask them out (what
is this—the ‘50s?). Still, let’s
not saddle all the blame on us
women. I think some of the
blame could easily be shared
with the game that certain men
appear to be lacking.
Clumsiness seems to be the
biggest downfall for otherwise
normal guys. I was once ona
bus when an adolescent (I'd like
to emphasize that he was an
adolescent, and that this event
transpired a few months ago—
so I was in college) approached

me and said, “Hi excuse me but
you're cute and I want to talk
to you.” Charming though I’m
sure he was, I didn’t want to
talk to him. Besides which, his
approach was very awkward
and Justin Bieber-esque (“Hey
girl, let me talk to you”).
Granted, approach anxiety is no
fun, and being rejected is even
less fun. Perhaps that anxiety
has begun to translate into
clumsy approaches, but that
won't get you anywhere.
Sharing a lot of personal
stuff or awkwardly emphasizing
your physical prowess is a big
no-no. My friend has dealt with
an “I have an alcohol abuse
problem and my girlfriend
broke up with me even though I
followed her across the country
so we could go to university
together. Want to go out?” In
what I can only assume was

a bizarre brag, I encountered
“When I have sex, I break the
bed.” I don’t know if those
techniques have worked in the
past, but as far as I’m concerned,
they aren’t turn-ons.

One solid reason a woman
might turn you down is that
there are creepers everywhere.

I myself am terrified of
encountering the next Ted
Bundy after I morbidly watched
a series of A&E documentaries
on serial killers. You might

just be a plain, not-murderous
creeper, but even that won't

get you any ladies. This ranges
everywhere from the old guy
on the bus who stares a little
too intently, to the stranger who
(as a friend of mine was once
an unwilling audience to) just
whips it out as you’re innocently
walking down the street. Avoid
coming across as a “Silence of

the Lambs: |-want-to-make-a-

woman-suit-out-of-you” creep,
but also avoid being perceived
as a straight-up, average creep.

I know it can be tough
to ask someone out, but you
still want to avoid resorting to
bizarre and awkward behaviour.
The standard, “Hey, do you
want to go for coffee?” generally
works pretty well. If the person
says no, they’re probably saying
it because they don’t like you—
at least you know where you
stand! Perhaps if some people
weren't as creepy, Vancouver
women wouldn’t seem so
unfriendly.