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As soon as we went in I was suffocated by the heat and
it was as though I was with the dead people and I think
that if I were alone in one of those rooms it would
make me afraid because 1 would figure that all the
paintings were watching me and it would make me so
ashamed and it’s as though you went to a cemetary
and all the dead people were living or like you were
dead without having stopped living and it’s a shame
that I don’t know how to tell you about the paintings or
about so many things from so many centuries ago and

it's a miricle that they look like they were just
finished— why do things keep longer than people?

imagine not even the shadow of those who painted.

them is left and the paintings look as though nothing
has happened and there are some pao ones of
martyrdoms and executions of saints and children but
they were so well painted that they didn’t make me

sad but full of admiration the colors so bright as if it,

were really the red of flowers the sky so blue and the
clouds and the rivers and the trees and the colors of
the clothes in every color and there was one painting
that made such an impression on me that without
realizing like when you see yourself in a mirror or like
when you look into a fountain and see yourself in the
leaves and the branches that are reflected in the water
I went into the landscape with those men dressed in
red green yellow and blue who carried swords and
axes and lances and flags and I began to talk with a
bearded hermit who prayed next to his cave and it was
lots of fun to play with the little animals that came to
keep him company deer birds and crows and lions and
tame tigers and suddenly when I was walking through
the meadow the Moors grabbed me and took me to a
square where there were very tall buildings and
towers like pines and they began to martyr me and I
began to spurt blood like a fountain but it didn’t hurt
very much and I wasn't afraid because God up above
was watching me and the angels would gather my
blood in jars and while the Moors were martyring me I
had fun looking at some very elegant ladies that were
watching my martytrdom from their balconies and
they laughed and chatted among themselves about
things without bothering much about what was hap-

pening to me and everyone seemed bored and far-off
there was a landscape with a farmer who peacefully
ploughed his land with two oxen and a dog that
jumped next to him and in the sky there were a million
flying birds and some hunters dressed in green and
red and a bird was falling shot by an arrow and you
could see the white feathers fall and the red drops and
no one pitied it and I began to cry for the little bird and
then the Moors cut my head off with a white scimitar
and a jet of blood burst from my neck and spilled on
the ground like a red waterfall and from the ground a
million red flowers shot up and it was a miricle and
then everyone was leaving and I was left alone in that
field spurting blood for days and days watering the
flowers and it was another miricle that my blood never
stopped gushing until an angel came and put my head
back on again but imagine in the rush he put it on
backward and I could barely walk and only backward
which made me tired and I walked backward and left
that landscape and went back to Mexico and found

_myself in the backyard of my house where there was

so much sun and dust and the whole patio was covered
with big sheets just washed and left out to dry and the
maids came and shook the sheets and they were like
giant pieces clouds and the meadow as all green and
covered with red flowers that my mama _ said were
the color of the blood of a Saint and I began to laugh
and I began to laugh and told her that the Saint was
me and how the Moors had martyred me and she got
angry and said oh God my little girl has lost her head
and it made me sad to hear those words and I went to
the punishment corner and bit my lips with anger

because no one believed me and when I was stuck to’

the wall wishing that my mama and the maids were
dead the wall opened and I was at the foot of a pepper
tree that was next to a dry river and there were big
rocks that shined in the sun and a lizard looked at me
with it’s head stretched out and suddenly ran to hide
and on the ground I saw again my body without a head
and my body was alrealdy scarred and only a little
blood trickled out which made a little puddle in: the
dust and it made me sad and I frightened the flies
away from the little puddle and threw some handfuls

MARCH 9, 1983

  
   

  

by Octavio Paz

of dirt to hide it so the dogs couldn’t lick it and I re
to look for my head and it wasn’t anywhere and I
couldn’t even cry and since there wasn’t anybody in
that place I began to walk over an enormous yellow
plain looking for my hear until I found an adobe hut
and I met an Indian who lived there and I asked him
for a little water for charity and the old man told me
that water is never denied a Christian and he gave me
water in a red jar that was very cold but I couldn’t
drink it because I didn’t have a head and the Indian
said don’t worry little girl I have some spares right
here and he began to take his head collection out of
some boxes he had by the door but none of them fit me
some of them were too big some too little and they
were old men and women and I didn’t like any and
after trying on alot I got mad and started to kick all the
heads and the Indian said don’t little girl let’s

go to the village to cut off a head that will fit you and I
was very happy and the Indian took a big ax for
cutting wood from his house and we began to walk and
after a long time we came to the village and in the
square there was a girl who was being martyred and
some men dressed in black as though it was a burial
and one of them read a speech like on National Day
and there was alot of Mexican flags and in the
bandstand thay played a march and it was like a fair
there were piles of peanuts and jimcamas and sugar
cane and coconuts and watermelons and everybody
bought and sold stuff except for a group that wa:

listening to the man while the soldiers martyred the
girl and up there through the opening God saw
everything and the little girl was very calm and then
the Indian sneaked around and when no one was
looking he cut off the girls head and put it on me and
it fit very well and I jumped for joy because the Indian
was an angel and everybody was looking at me and
applauded when I went skipping away and when I was
alone in the garden of my house I became a little sad
because I remembered the girl who had her head cut
off. I hope she can cut one off another girl so she can
have a head like me.