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Opinions.

 

| solemnly swear

Cursing in front of kids
shouldn't be verboten

 

By Natalie Serafini,
Opinions Editor

hen I first met my

nephew, there were a
lot of things I worried about. I
worried that I would drop the
precious bundle, because I had
no idea how to hold a baby. I
worried that I was secreting a
pheromone, popularly known as
“Inexplicably Prompts Babies to
Cry Unconsolably.” More than
these entirely rational concerns,
though, I was especially worried
that I would slip-up and drop
an F-bomb in front of my infant
nephew.

So I confess, I worry about
swearing in front of kids. Yet, I
can’t think of a reason why the
cleanliness of my speech should
be so much of a concern in the
presence of children. What are
we trying to protect? Perhaps
because of the innocence,
which children are an abundant
fountain of. It would explain
Santa Claus, and the universal
understanding that nothing may
pierce, stab, or crush the delicate
exoskeleton of that dream.

Let’s assume it’s innocence
that we're preserving when we
swap in “fudge” and “sherbet”;
hearing swear words doesn’t
tear the child out of childhood
and set them on the path
towards a hard knock life.

Kids aren’t born with an innate
understanding of what those

words mean, so uttering a few
choice syllables isn’t going to
open a veritable Pandora’s

box of hardship, and it likely
won't give them a bad case of
Tourette Syndrome. It’s difficult
to see how the utterance of a
few words would mar a child’s
innocence, so I’m hesitant

to give that explanation full
credibility.

Instead, perhaps the
concern is in ensuring that the
child’s vocabulary is suitably
broad. It wouldn’t be good if
the child were to use swear
words to describe everything, or
peppered every sentence with

curses. But when a child learns
anew word, do they apply it
to every single situation and
sentence? I’m sure some kids
do, but it’s not guaranteed that
an obscenity will become their
new favourite word—especially
if parents calm down and stop
worrying about their kids
getting overly attached toa
swear word. Kids frequently
only become fascinated by
things that carry mystique, or
are taboo. If one doesn’t assign
impropriety and illicitness to
the words, the child will likely
forget that they even heard it.
They’re gems like that.

And if the concern is
with expanding the child’s
vocabulary, the easy solution
to that is to expand your own
vocabulary, and not swear in
every sentence. That doesn’t
mean never swearing—
sometimes “fudge” or “sherbet”
don’t quite address the enormity
of a situation—but choosing to
be strategic and effective.

There are certain things kids
should be protected from. Polio,
murderers, drugs/alcohol/
cigarettes: life- and quality of
life-threatening forces that go
under the parenting guidelines
as “to avoid.” Language is not

 

Vince Vaughn in Old Schoo!

one of the things kids should

be protected from. Language

is powerful, and rather than
ignoring the existence of words,
maybe it’s better to teach kids
to understand their significance.
There will be a few rogue rascals
walking around the grocery
store shouting their favourite
new curses, but generally
speaking, the kids won’t

care about their new-found
knowledge. Parents should

be teaching their kids to have
an arsenal of words at their
disposal, even if that means
emphasizing the sparse use of
some words.

 

Mad men

What are you
advertising for?

 

By Grant Crossley, Contributor

A couple of days ago, I was
ooking at the dirt on my

car and thinking it needs a good
washing. Then I took a closer
look at my licence plate and
realized that all this time—30-
thousand kilometres and two
years later—I’ve been in the
advertising business for a car
company.

The problem is that I
haven't been getting paid

for this! Last year I took
Introduction to Marketing, and
one principle that came up was,
that “Nothing is free.” So then
why am I advertising for free?

I contacted the car company
and asked them what my
compensation would be, and
they said I could bring the
car to them and they would
remove the decal and licence
plate holder. They not only
don’t want to pay me for my
advertising work, but they want
me to drive to them so they
can remove it. Am I being that
unreasonable? I think the car
companies are taking us all for
suckers.

I’ve even considered going

down to the dealership and
asking them to put my company
name somewhere on their
building. I know the reaction I
would probably get is a laugh
and a smile, but I’m serious.
Why can they advertise on my
car for free and get away with
it?

I posted a comment on their
Facebook page to bring attention
to this matter and inform other
“advertisers” out there that they
should be getting paid for their
services. I checked my post,
and I’ve already influenced
one person; will you be next?
It’s a cruel world, and like I
said before, nothing is free.
Capitalism at its finest!

I recall when I bought a
car a couple years ago and
asked them to take off the
sticker—I was younger and
not in university. The salesman
said to me, “I don’t think the
owner would like that.” Today
I would say, “You’re damn
right, the owner (me) doesn’t
like it, and the deal is off until
it gets removed.” Either that
or I would say that until those
advertisements come off, I get
$100 off the final price.

In my current situation, like
a good salesperson, I countered
the car company’s offer to
remove the decal and licence
plate holder with an offer of my
own: new tires and a $200 gift

card. No word on what they will
do at the time of the deadline.

Now the question is, what
dol put on my résumé?

Marketing Specialist, 2009 —
Present:

e Increased sales of the car
brand

¢ Marketed in key segments,
including schools and
recreational centres

e Drove brand recognition

¢ Kept the business strong
during The Great Recession

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