issue 1 // volume 44 humour // no. 23

TIFU by posting 1n the wrong places

> Dungeon Master seeking new play group’

Davie Wong
Sports Editor

 

S° today I messed up. Or to be
specific, | messed up a couple of
days ago, but I just figured out how
today. A few days ago, I made a post
on the public forum of Reddit: That
I, a Dungeon Master, was seeking a
roleplaying group. As it was my first
time posting, | had no idea where to
start. But a Google search directed
me to the subreddit “Dungeon
Masters Vancouver,” where several
other people made similar posts.

My post reads as follows: “Hi
everyone! I’m a recently displaced
Dungeon Master in search of a
roleplaying group. I’m an easy-going
guy with years of experience under
my belt. There’s really nothing I can’t
handle. I can’t wait to roll the dice on
this opportunity.” Looking back on
it now, it was probably misleading.

But it worked. Or, at
least, I though it did.

A couple of days later, I was
contacted by a MissRolePlay, who told
me that her group was looking for
a new Dungeon Master. I guess the
first red flag was when I asked what
happened to their old Dungeon Master,
her reply was that he was “a tad tied up
at the moment.” The second red flag
was that they played in a warehouse,
but that didn’t clue in until later.

So, naive as I am, I agreed to
meet with MissRolePlay and her
group of friends. I gathered my books,

 

maps, dice, and character models
and prepared to delve in the riches
of roleplay with a brand-new group.
When I arrived at the “Playhouse” as
they had so aptly named it, I saw my
third red flag. I was greeted by a man
in a suit who ushered me into the
warehouse. Dragging my gear along
with me, I stepped into what was to
be my new weekly getaway. The first
thing that hit me was the smell. It can
only be described as an unbearable
smell of sweat and something else I
still can’t quite put my finger on.

Shortly after, I met MissRolePlay.
She wore a very flattering black
spandex outfit that left very little to
the imagination, but hey, who am I
to question other people's roleplay
attire? We exchanged pleasantries
as one would before she asked me if
I had brought my own toys, pointing
to the box. Not one to reveal my
hand before the climax, I told her
that I would show them everything
after I met the whole group.

I walked into what I thought was
going to be our play area. Their table
was a bit odd, having some sort of
restraining mechanism in the corners.
“Must be one of those European tables,”
I thought to myself. Shortly after, I was
left on my own as MissRolePlay left to
gather the rest of her friends. I set up
my dice and my table as I usually do.
When MissRolePlay came back, I was
quite surprised that she had her friends
restrained in a line behind her—and I

WHY POT

OF THIS CRAP?

 

 

 

HAVE TO GO THROUGH
MONTHS ANP MONTHS

do quite literally mean restrained. As
surprised as I was, she too was shocked
to see my set-up of books and dice.
Fearing for my life, I quickly made
myself scarce, shoveling my dice and
books back into my bag and heading

 

for the door. After all, if she ties her
friends up, I don’t want to find out
what she does to acquaintances. So
the lesson to learn here, friends, is to
read between the lines; sometimes
role players just want to tie you up!

YOU'RE REALLY

 

 

 

THAT UPSET ABOUT
GAME OF THRONES?

 

 

Mom! Dad!

Lin in love!

)

   

 

Th at Ss feat

dear

 

 

 

 

 

L mean uni fonically

  

 

LT wont Where did

heor of

it!

We 5°
Wong?

  

 

 

 

 

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