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Everybody loves ‘The
Simpsons —except me

By Idrian Burgos,
Contributor

y and large, everyone

on this planet seems
to love The Simpsons.
Everyone susceptible to
the death ray of those
two one-eyed, salivating,
green aliens loves the
hilarious foolishness of
Homer, the mischievous
rascality of Bart, the
good-natured normalness
of Marge, the rational
sense of Lisa, the ador-
able and mystifying
innocence of Maggie, and
the overall funniness and
calamity of the citizens
of Spring field. Stretching
from the beaches of Rio
to the modern and his-
toric avenues of Berlin,
The Simpsons has become
a global phenomenon.
Anyone who has lived

outside of a cave appears
to like the painful
comedy and meaningful
satire of the show. Proven
by its longevity—record-
holder for longest-
running animated
comedy show—and
continued popularity, The
Simpsons has managed

to capture the backing
and devotion of every-
body the world over.

It seems to have
missed me.

For the most part, I
dislike The Simpsons. My
reasons for disliking it
are perhaps your reasons
for liking it. The “D’oh-
ness” and pratfalls of the
bald-headed Simpson,
amusing to many, is
nothing but unfunny
stupidity to me. Not
stupidity of the hilarious
type, but the type of
stupidity where ending
the life of the one suffer-
ing from it is an act of
compassion. In fact, some

All shook up

Should the news about
earthquakes alarm
the population?

By Glauce Fleury,
Contributor

t would’ve been just

another Sunday morn-
ing if I hadn’t woken
up with unbelievable
news: a 7.7-magnitude
earthquake had shaken
Vancouver Island the
previous night and had
even been felt in Metro
Vancouver. “Are you
serious?” I asked my
host family. “Yes, watch
the news.” I’m not sure I
can describe my feelings,
but I perfectly remember
my question: “Should
I go back to Brazil?”

The news was scaty.
The TV channels referred
to the tremor as one of
the largest ever to hit

Canada, and tsunami
warnings were issued.
Its epicentre was Haida
Gwaii, an archipelago
located 100 kilometers
off the northern coast
of BC. If the situation
was so serious, why did
I have one of my best
nights of sleep since I
arrived in Canada? On
Twitter, people asked,
“Did an earthquake
really shock Vancouver?”
We know how
destructive nature can be,
but why was the news so
scary if nothing serious
happened? Why alarm
the population when
you can just report the
facts the way they are?
That explains why one
day after the earthquake,
Vancouverites emptied
stores selling first aid kits,
radios, and survival gear.
It seems awkward
that 11 days before the
earthquake Douglas
College sent an email

in the IMDB forums have
complained of “Homer
Stupidson.” If only I
could add even a dose
of intelligence or sanity
in him, I say to myself.
The spike-headed
kid arguably ranks equal
with his unfortunately
lobotomized father in the
list of all-time hate-wor-
thy Simpsons characters.
To be played around by
the school bully when not
doing anything wrong,
yet manage to get away
with a mischievous act
to Lisa is unfair and
unjust. Penalties are
given for wrong acts and
not for simply being in
the wrong place at the
wrong time. One would
love to stuff tennis balls
in his mouth—with an
additional dynamite stick
for good measure—after
he’s finished chuckling
after an impish act.
Other character criti-
cisms are not so much

mentioning its participa-
tion in the Great British
Columbia ShakeOut
Earthquake Drill and
the internationally
recognized “Drop,
Cover, and Hold on”
protocol. Moreover,
seven days before, an
urban disaster simulation
took place in Vancouver,
conducted by members
of Canada’s Task Force
and Disaster Response
team. Do you believe in
coincidences? I don’t.

Aside from Canada,
I have my eyes on the
States. A friend of mine,
a Brazilian who lives in
New York, mentioned
on Facebook, “I’m about
to experience my first
hurricane. Not very
excited about it.” Yes, he
was referring to Sandy,
but the area where he
lives luckily didn’t face
serious problems.

I have always paid
attention to Japan too.

about the characters
specifically, but with their
overall depiction. Almost
everybody suffers from
some form of idiocy or
defect, with occasional
bouts of intelligence or
wisdom when the script
or director demands
it. No one is perfect
in The Simpsons (the
daughter Simpson may
be a relative exception),
which—while it might be
realistic—only makes one
hope for a dose of sense
in the show, as the degree
of infallibility for the
characters ranges to the
unrealistically infallible.
The combination of
stupidity and sense in
The Simpsons is more
painful than thoughtful.
When the stupidity of
one character is used
to deliver something
meaning ful—say Homer
delivers a thoughtful line
in his own funny way—
or when a character’s

One of my best friends
lives there, and know-
ing she often deals with
earthquakes gets on my
nerves. Since I met her, I
have been the one who
sends her messages after
every natural disaster to
know if she’s fine. Thank
God she was with me in
the States last year when
the tsunami hit Japan.
As for her, she never
had to ask me this sort
of question. So far. Last
week, she asked me if
everything was okay.
Yes, the world turns...

I prefer to think I
didn’t feel the earthquake
of October 27 because
its epicentre is 720
kilometers away from
Vancouver. However, as
people talk about a big
earthquake that could
happen tomorrow or in
50 years, I am not calm
at all. I came froma
country where natural
disasters like tornadoes,

foolishness is suspended
for a moment of insight
(Iremember you, Ralph),
the end product usually
produces a preference to
have the lines delivered
without humour alto-
gether; or if you are less
caring, to have that piece
of truth register as plain
garbage. The fault in this
case may be assigned not
to the characters, but to
the writers of the lines;
their brand of humour
and choice of words
causes an irritation so
dreadful, the only anti-
dote to itis to shut down
the whole enterprise.

It may be that the
combination of the show’s
humour, cartoon colour,
style, and voice character-
ization is the one to blame
for such a harsh response.
Everyone else on Earth may
like them, but I sure don’t.

hurricanes, earthquakes,
and tsunamis are not

an issue. I have no clue
about how to prepare
myself—how to emotion-
ally prepare myself.

Somebody could say,
“Oh, I’m not prepared
either.” Well, I suspect
that when you live ina
country where natural
disasters happen every
now and then, you sort of
get used to them. BC has
had six of the 10 biggest
earthquakes that shook
Canada. These numbers
should give us some
sense of self-protection
in case something hap-
pens. Having said that,

I ask, “If Canadians are
not prepared for it, how
can Brazilians be?”

To read some
information about earth-
quake procedures, visit
http:/ /www.douglas.

be.ca/safety-security/
emerg ency-procedures /
earthquakes.html.

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