issue 12 // volume 42 humour // no. 23

A little motivation for the
end of November

 

Festive merry-makers
eager for November 25

» Pre-Christmas is almost here

Chandler Walter
Humour Editor
S humour@theotherpress.ca

any people around
Vancouver are ecstatic

over the end of November,
and more specifically, the
arrival of November 25.

November 25 may not be
in calendars as a legitimate
holiday, though it marks the day
that it becomes socially suitable
to begin Christmas activities,
celebrations, and traditions.

This pre-Christmas only
comes once a year, and with it,
the added pressures of finding
the right gifts, killing a tree,
and settling in to the cold dark
heart of winter’s icy grasp.
The stores are being stocked
with advent calendars and
Christmas paraphernalia, and
many minimum wage workers
are delighted to celebrate pre-
Christmas during overtime
hours, to be sure that all the
great presents can be bought.

Many around Vancouver
are celebrating pre-Christmas
by decorating their houses
with lights, and going to their
local mall to get their children
to sit on the lap of a complete
stranger. Others will be spending
it watching the old Christmas

to pop up on cable channels.
Some students will be spending
it in complete and utter agony
because of the finals they have
to start worrying about.

Molly Walsh, a mother of

: celebrate pre-Christmas, much
: joy is still felt by all at the near
: end of this horrible, terrible, god-
> awful month that is November.

: two and avid pre-Christmas

: celebrator, explained how pre-

: Christmas means more than

: just the bells and whistles. “It’s

: something deep in your heart,”

: Walsh said. “It’s that feeling you
: get when you can finally throw

: yourself full tilt into the season.
: There’s nothing greater than

: knowing that there is only going
: to be one thing on your mind

: and agenda for the next month.”

Store DJs at various retail

: stores are also excited about the

: fast approaching pre-Christmas,

: including Myles Blooth, a

: checkout cashier at The Bay. “Oh
: [really love it around this time of
: year. I spend hours pouring over

: the new mix CD. You have to have
: just the right formula of Mariah

: Carey and The Little Drummer

: Boy. I just know my coworkers are
: going to love listening to this over
: and over and over and over again!”

Scott Prescott has fond

: memories of pre-Christmases

: with his family: “A great pre-

: Christmas tradition for us is

: deciding that no one should get
: gifts for anyone, because honestly
: it costs too much to buy things

: for everyone and no one ever

: really gets anything they actually
: like” Prescott also said that the

: November holiday works great

: to bring together the family. “It’s
themed reruns that are beginning around this time that we all start
: drinking a lot more. Getting a

: bit pudgy. It’s all the chocolate.”

While not all people

 

  

Hey What's Hhat

im your Gar,

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Image via www.luxurystnd.com

» Gather round, team

Chandler Walter
Humour Editor
S humour@theotherpress.ca

don’t know what to say,
really. Two weeks till the
biggest tests of our academic

lives. Our marks all come down :

to what we do today. Now
either we study as a class, or we
will crumble. Mark by mark,
test by test, we study until
were finished. We're in hell
right now, classmates, believe
me. And we can procrastinate,
and be unprepared, or we can
study our way back into the
light. We can climb out of hell.
One review question at a time.

I look around I see these
young faces and I| think
about how I made every
mistake a college student
can make. I procrastinated
my responsibilities, believe
it or not. And lately |
can’t even stand the face
I see in the mirror.

You know, when you get
further into post-secondary,
things get taken from you.
That’s part of college. But
you only learn when you
start failing classes. You find
out classes are just a game of
marks. Because in class the

presentation you don’t quite
pass, one participation grade
you don’t fulfill. The marks
we need are all around us.

 

They’e in every class we skip,
: every textbook we don’t open.

To pass your classes, you

: gotta fight for that mark.

: You gotta tear yourself and

: everyone around you to

: pieces for that mark. You claw
: with your FINGERNAILS for

: that mark. Cause you know,

: when you add up all those

: marks, that’s what’s going to

: make the fucking difference

: between passing and failing.

: Between LIVING and DYING.

Great GPAs are born from

: great opportunity, and that’s

: what you have here. That’s

: what you've earned here this

: semester. One test. If you take

: it ten times you might fail nine,

margin for error is so small, one : but not this test. Not this final.

You were born to be

: passing students. Every one
: of you. You were meant to be
: studying tonight. This is your

Image via screenshot from Braveheart

: time. Because classmates...

: What will you do without

: adegree? Will you become

: employed? Aye, study and you
: may breakdown; procrastinate
: and you will stay sane. At least
: for a while. And lying in your

: beds two weeks from now

: would you be willing to trade

: all the days from this day to

E that for one chance, just once

: chance, to come back here

: and grind your way towards

: earning college credentials?

Classmates, I see in your

: eyes the same fear that would

: take the heart of me. A day may
: come when the determination

: of students fails, when we
forsake our group presentation
: partners and break all bonds

: of teamwork. But it is not this

: day. This day we study. For all

: that you hold dear I bid you

: study, students of the West!

 

 

by David Manky, Senior Columnist