September 15, 2008

 

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Jason Bourne is better than James BON 5» cei scism

F the world of international super-spies, there are really only two significant names: James
Bond and Jason Bourne. However, when the two of them are lined up, who’s cooler?

No question, Jason Bourne is better in almost every aspect. While the new Bond, Daniel
Craig, is boss, he’s no Matt Damon. Damon just has the cool factor about him. Not that
Craig doesn’t, because he’s the best Bond in years— probably ever— but there. are just way
too many crappy Bond’s over the years. Pierce Brosnen? What were they thinking?

With the exception of Craig’s Bond, far too many James Bonds of the past have relied
way too much on over the top gadgetry to get them through tough spots. Jason Bourne just
kicks the crap out of guys.

Not to mention that the Bourne movies blow most of the Bond movies out of the water.
The latest Bond flick was. awesome, but it had nothing on any of the Bourne movies.

When you consider the origins of each character, Bourne is way cooler. Come on, who
doesn’t love a haunted past? You have a guy, who speaks something like ten languages,
knows basically every martial art on the planet, and can think his way out of just about any
situation imaginable, and look incredibly cool doing it, and he can’t remember who he is.
That’s pretty wicked.

Then you have James Bond, whose origin they’ ve never properly explained in the first
place.

When you look at James Bond through his many movies, he’s a pretty terrible spy. He
gets caught every single time he’s sneaking around. Plus, besides the new James Bond, every
Bond of the past has seemed way too slick and suave to come across as truly cool. None of
them seemed that tough at all. They were just able to rely on trick watches and things like
that.

On the other hand, Jason Bourne really doesn’t need a weapon at all. Remember that

park scene from the Bourne Identity? When he beats the hell out of those two cops without
even trying? That was nuts. Or, what about the fight scene in his apartment—again, from the
Bourne Identity?

Finally, the overall storyline of Jason Bourne is far better than any James Bond plot. All
three movies connect perfectly and lead to a proper conclusion, whereas every Bond movie
follows the exact same format as the one that came before it. A dastardly villain threatens the
world—or a part of the world that England would have no interest in, and MI6 calls in James
Bond to stop him. A really hot girl fits in somehow. A big, climactic battle scene takes place,
usually in an odd location, like a submarine or a space station; Bond wins and ends up with
the girl. The next movie then repeats the exact same thing, only with a slightly altered plot
and a different, although equally attractive, lead female character.

There’s really no question about it when you look at it. Jason Bourne is so much cooler
and better than James Bond, it isn’t even a fair comparison.

 

& h a ke n J n ot sti rred By Matthew Steinbach

So. what makes Bond better than Bourne? The movies are not just Bond against
the world; no one man can truly take on the system and win. He shows us places we
want to visit, and a life we all wish we had. Who would want to live like Bourne,
always on the run, always hiding, always having to kill or be killed? Bond can walk
away from all this, Bourne cannot. Once he was in the game, he was there for life.

I definitely would not want that myself. I would constantly be thinking, “Is this the
day where I miss something, something important?” and “Will this be it? My last
stand?” I’d take the comfort of the casino over that life any day.

James Bond is cunning. He always has a solution, which does not always equal
blunt force, but rather he will take risks. To beat Le Chiffre, he won in a game of
chance. Who wouldn’t want to take on international villains all from the comfort
of a card table? Cards are not my game, but I can relate to his abilities, perhaps
even envy them. Sometimes I wish I was able to take more chances like Bond.
Among my friends, I have gained a reputation of playing it too safe. He serves as
inspiration to people like me who wish to do more.

A quick poll: who wants to go on a trip to the Bahamas? Now who wants to
stay in Vancouver? Exotic locations are what make Bond... Bond. We want to see
locations we will never be able to see unless we are really lucky. It’s not the job we
want, it’s the vacation. Bourne is never in one place long enough to sightsee, while

Bond gets to go to Europe, Europe—of all places! Who wouldn’t want to be there
for a little while? See the Eifel Tower maybe? Well, Bourne certainly would not
waste time with such trivial matters.

Bond reminds us of who we wish we were: well-off, self-absorbed people,
always on vacation. Who really wants to slog it out at the office every day?