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(YW Benjamin Button’s #ThrowbackThursday

This is why I'm single
CMG Nv en Ge) olUl ese,

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Contact: Sharon Miki, Humour Editor

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www theotherpress.ca

 

Harper to replace Foreign Aid
with ‘likes’ and prayers

» ‘ClickAid’ to help those in need

Vinnie Briey,
Toike Oike (CUP)

[° a move that has rocked
the political world, Prime
Minister Stephen Harper
announced Friday that the
federal budget will no longer
include foreign aid initiatives.
Instead, the Conservative

Party’s “Economic Action Plan” :

will launch a new social media
campaign to lend intangible
support through Facebook
“likes,” shares, and comments.

The campaign, dubbed
“ClickAid,” was reportedly
inspired by ongoing Facebook
trends. Facebook users should
be familiar with the concept of
“7 Like = 1 Prayer,” which has
successfully integrated social
media and modern medicine
to help burn victims, cancer

patients, and disaster survivors. :
: difference in people’s lives.

Using this seemingly
arbitrary conversion of social
media attention to spiritual
support, Facebook has been
able to focus hundreds of
thousands of prayers on
those who need them most.

: Soon, Facebook users will be
: able to like and share official

government updates to makea

“If one ‘like’ can be said to

: be equal to one prayer, when
: there are so many obvious

: differences between a simple
: click and a heartfelt call for

: divine intervention, then in

: theory we should be able to

: convert these resources into

: funding for international aid,”
: says Minister of Finance Joe

: Oliver. “When you ‘like’ this

: kind of content, the prayers

: don’t come from anywhere

: specific—they just appear

: out of thin air. We hope to

: harness this transformation to

 

Benjamin Button's #ThrowbackThursday

: and communications

: companies, who frequently

: donate to charities based on

: the number of texts and phone
: calls made by their clients.”

A press release written

: by the Prime Minister’s

: office stated, “this campaign

: represents significant savings

: to the Canadian public, since

: we basically run the whole

: campaign with an unpaid

: intern and some Twitter and

: Facebook accounts. Added

: benefits include that Canadians
: will get all of their depressing

: international news on their

: Facebook newsfeeds, which

: they can easily ignore, and they
: will no longer feel the need

: to donate to pushy charity

: workers. News programmes will

: . : even have more time to cover
: generate virtual dollars, and get :

: struggling regions the help they :
: need.” :
: “We were impressed by the :
: innovation of the Facebook
: team in pioneering social meta- :
: currencies,” said Prime Minister :
: Harper ina statement to the
: press. “My cabinet also drew
: inspiration from Kickstarters

important issues like sports and

: what a Nikki Minaj is.”

Over the coming few

: weeks, Harper will be meeting
: with financial advisors to

discuss the conversion rates of

: virtual prayers from different

: faiths, as well as the looming

: threat of popular Facebook

* pages creating divine inflation.

 

oh man, to be young again!