GPOPGS

 

Major Leaque Baseball Special Report

" Travis Paterson, OP Contributor

 

Toronto Blue Jays:

Just when it was safe to write Toronto off
as a below .500 franchise again, the Jays
started drawing attention with season
series’ wins over the Red Sox. Cy Young
winner, Roy Halladay, is enjoying another
all-star season, and will receive Cy Young
votes even with a handful of missed
starts due to a broken leg. Superb outings
from surprising left-hander Gustavo
Chacin, and a return to form by Ted Lilly
have rounded out a decent rotation for
the Jays, as good as any in the rough-and-

Be

tumble American League East. With
Cory Koskie’s return, the Jays are less
dependent on rookie Aaron Hill, whose
hot start has fizzled of late. The Jays will
need quality pitching to stay close in the
Eastern Pennant race. They'll need con-
sistent outings from Chacin, Lilly, and
Josh Towers to have any chance at mak-
ing the post season. Go, Jays, Go.

Seattle Mariners:
There is little hope for this year’s Seattle
Mariners. After a successful run of divi-

sion and wild-card titles, the Mariners’ are
in a complex rut. The lack of pitching
and heavily paid free agent Adrian Beltre
has provided little
Fortunately, Ichiro is consistent as always,

production.

and Richie Sexson has brought a slugger’s
bat to a franchise that has been without
home-run pop since Alex Rodriguez left
town in 2000.

With so little depth in the bullpen, the
Mariners are going to suck until they gain
confidence and experience. Until then,
Beltre, Sexson, and Ichiro will have to
tough it out. Hey, it was a great eight
years; we didn’t think the Mariners were
going to be hot forever. At least they
have a beautiful stadium to take your
mind off the score.

BC Boys Update:

Larry Walker—Suffering from a herniat-
ed disc in his neck, Walker should return
from the DL in early August to help the
playoff-bound St. Louis Cardinals reach
the World Series for the second straight
year. With Walker’s history of injuries
and contract status (last year of his
healthy $12-million salary), it’s likely this
season will be his last. Wouldn’t it be fit-
ting to see him finish with a World Series
title?

Justin Morneau—It seems like each
year Minnesota is able to produce a tal-
ented new player from their system, and
this year it’s Justin. His quiet power and

 

consistent run production are an integral
part of Minnesota’s success as they trail
the red hot White Sox in the Central
Division, no doubt fixated on the Wild
Card.

Jeff Francis—Francis’s first full sea-
son has been better than average,
considering his home starts are made at
the dreaded Coors Field in Colorado.
With a strikeout-to-walk ratio of almost
2-1, and nine wins already, Jeff’s five-
plus ERA is easily forgiven.

Ryan Dempster—Currently having
his best stretch in years, Dempster has
adopted the closer’s role, with 14 saves
this season. He’s also maintaining his ver-
satility with six starts. As a reliever,
Demptser has regained the form that
made him a valuable commodity when he
was dealt from the Marlins in 2003.

Corey Koskie—Koskie is a true hard-
nosed ball player doing what a good
Canadian should, returning to Canada
and signing with the Jays. Despite missing
58 games with a broken thumb, Koskie
has become an acknowledged leader of
the Jays’ talented young squad. His
enthusiasm and pop at the plate have
helped keep the team in close contention.
Under Koskie’s lead, the Jays are earning
more and more respect as a hard-working
team, never to be underestimated.

 

Jersey Boob Iries

Kevin Welsh, OP Contributor

itch-hunts are chic again in

the state of New Jersey. State

Assemblyman and Baptist
deacon Craig Stanley believes the NHL’s
New Jersey Devils should change their
name to something a little less satanic,
and intends to introduce the issue to the
New Jersey Assembly next month.

“This is an age where symbolism is
very important,” Stanley preached. “I’ve
always cringed when people say they’re
going to see the Devils. The merchandise
(and) the paraphernalia is based on the
actual demonic devil. Personally, it causes
a little bit of an issue with me.”

Of course, a little bit of research will
reveal that the Devils are not named after
Satan, but, in fact, named after a creature
from local lore. The Jersey Devil was
reputedly born in the 13th century to a

22 | www.theotherpress.ca

to Waste Tax Dollars

poor, South Jersey family, and later mor-
phed into a creature with bat wings, a
forked tail, and gigantic claws. It terror-
ized the citizens of Pine Barrens until the
18th century. Cool!

Devils CEO Lou Lamoriello said, “I
can assure you the Devils’ name will
never change, and | think there are more
important things to be thinking about
than something that will never happen.”

Lamoriello’s prompted
Stanley to try his hand at wit, observing,
“He’s hell-bent on keeping the Devils’
name.”

Chortle.

However, on the off chance that

response

Stanley is successful in his crusade,
expect him next to turn his attention to
minor-league sports. The Ocean City
Banshees of the United Soccer Leagues

 

are a likely target, as are basketball’s New
Jersey SkyCats (God never intended cats
to fly). Most certainly a target, though,
would be the Major Lacrosse League’s
New Jersey Pride, named after the ani-

mals that devoured Christians to enter-
tain the Romans. Then, most definitely
for sure would be baseball’s Lakewood
Blue Claws, who...ah, to Hell with it.

August 10/2005