LETTITOR

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THURSDAYS
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| am a giant nerd with no
life (and so can you!)

icking an addiction is the hardest thing
kK in the whole damn world you can do.
To hell with astronauts and firefighters;
if you can give up speed or booze or smoking,
they ought to give you a tickertape parade and a
sash or something.

When I started to get clean, I didn’t think I
could make it. Hell, even if I did, I didn’t think
it was worth it to make it. The fix begins to
change the way your life is oriented. All your
friends are into it, you’ve spent all your money
on the stuff and you can’t really envision a life
without it. Hell, at age 13,1 didn’t think I'd
ever live without it. I was living my life one
booster at a time.

But finally, after years of living my life in
a swirl of gibberish and colours—red, white,
green, blue, black—I had enough. I went to the
dealer with all my unused product, and I said,
“Please, man, just take it from me. Take it all.
Take all my Magic cards.”

That’s right, Magic cards, properly known
as Magic the Gathering. I was hooked, and it
was not good.

Fortunately, I was able to trade the comic
book shopowner all my cards for about $20,
which I promptly spent on something sensible:
a few point of heroin and a few hypodermic
needles.

And let me tell you, I’ve never looked
back. ;

Magic the Gathering, for those unfamiliar,
was a fantasy-themed card game where the
point was to play “magic spells” (a.k.a. cards
that had sweet demonic imagery on them) and
beat an opponent. It was sort of like Pokémon
cards, but way more badass.

Magic was collectible, and you had to drop
a ton of coin to get the good cards. Let’s just
say that as a 13 year old, my allowance never
accumulated much value. As soon as It earned
five bucks, I spent it on cards. That damn comic
shop owner must’ve made a mint off of me.

I know this trip down dorky memory
lane is probably going to be polarizing for my
dearest readers. Half of you are big dorks who
played magic cards and totally get what I’m
saying. To you, read on.

The other half of you had friends in middle
school. You guys can blow me.

Anyways, the reason for this nerdcore

reminiscing is because thanks to the good
folks at Xbox, that sweet stuff is back in my
life. They have a downloadable Magic card
game that lets you play online against friends
with Xbox, and it is definitely taking me back
10 years. Which is dangerous, because if I

do have to go back 10 years mentally, it may
just destroy my brain. Will I start thinking
that Smash Mouth is a cool band again? Will
I start wearing sweatpants out of the house
again (admit it, wearing sweatpants and not
showering were the two best things about pre-
high school life). Or maybe I'll just complete
the transition physically and start rubbing
salami on my face to get my acne juuuuuust
right.

It’s nothing new for a video game to
control my life, but this Magic Card game is
something else. It’s something else because for
one thing, I’m using the most advanced video
game machine ever made to play a game that
probably could be replicated on a Nintendo 64
(or even a deck of cards for that matter). It’s
something else because it has me feeling that
all these years since middle school are simply a
tease to put me right back into middle school.

And most of all, it’s something else
because it allows you have a virtual addiction.
Which Im afraid could lead to a real-life
addiction if I’m not careful. I hope Sweet Lady
H doesn’t get too jealous.

Your friend in high fidelity,
Liam Britten
Editor-in-Chief

The Other Press

 

 

 

  

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