Arts

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Oh my Glob, you guys!

The Adventure Time’
game is finally here

By Angela Espinoza,
Arts Editor

22 23 25 £3

dventure Time’s
grabbed many
of my friends and I,
and we’ve since been
to many distant lands

with Jake the Dog (John
DiMaggio) and Finn the
Human (Jeremy Shada).
Now with the release of
Adventure Time: Hey Ice
King! Why’d You Steal Our
Garbage? (November 20)
for the Nintendo DS and
3DS, I can happily say

the game is an everything

burrito of awesome.
Ice King (Tom Kenny)
is wreaking havoc in
the land of Ooo, this
time taking everybody’s

garbage away—including
Finn and Jake’s. The boys

head off to give Ice King
a serious butt kicking,
but they also help many
of their friends and
fellow citizens along the
way.

Hey Ice King! is
fairly simple, with Ooo
separated into four main
lands: the Grass Lands,
the Candy Kingdom,
Red Rock Pass, and the
Ice Kingdom. While the

map isn’t particularly
extravagant, it’s fun to
see lots of characters,
areas, and many, many
items from the show
be scattered about this
colourful land.

Other strengths of
its simplicity are that the
leveling system, learning
moves, and the story
telling are all very well
balanced and splendidly
silly.

Another thing to

keep in mind is that this
is very much a game
designed for a slightly
younger age group. But,
like the show, there is
never a point where
things get lame for the
older audience.

The game lasts an
average of eight to 10
hours, and while I’m
not crazy about the
length, Hey Ice King! is
nonetheless “totally tck-
tck.”

‘Hitman: Absolution can't even spare the cliché

By Adam Tatelman,
Contributor

22 £2

“ve never played a

Hitman game before,
but after hearing the
franchise talked up by
rabid fans, I expected a
more original story than
“chemically enhanced
super-assassin Agent
47 goes rogue to protect
girl with genetic quirk
from government
organization’s illegal

science department.”
Absolution offers a
limp pastiche of bad spy
films, full of uninspired
stereotypical characters,
nonsensical elements,
countless plot holes,
and assassins dressed
like dominatrix nuns.
Those problems would
condemn any game if
it weren't fun to play,
and therein lies Hitman’s
absolution. The game
offers endless options
for infiltration: ever
wanted to impersonate
a judge and acquit a

criminal as part of your
cover? Poison some
drugs and watch your
mark inhale his doom?
Opportunities like those
are always available
to the observant; keep
an eye out as you stalk
your prey through the
massive-yet-linear maps
and you may discover
a knack for devious
improvisation.
Unfortunately, the
game tracks your score,
subtracting points
whenever your cover
is blown or you killa

non-target. If you want
to run and gun, prepare
to be penalized with a
point tally in the negative
thousands. Absolution
tries to force stealthy
tactics into play, and
then contradicts itself by
offering up explosives
and game mechanics
blatantly copied from
Assassin’s Creed and
Splinter Cell: Conviction
that lean towards action-
oriented gameplay.
“Instinct” allows you

to observe enemy
placement through walls,

The sarcastic truth behind Christmas

‘The Santaland
Diaries’ review

By Parker Thompson,
Contributor

KOSH S

A the holiday season
arrives, so does

the expected cluster

of holiday-related
theatre. I’m usually a

bit of a Scrooge towards
Christmas plays, but I
was pleasantly surprised
by the November 28
Arts Club production

of The Santaland Diaries.

8

This satirical narrative
of the Christmas season
is a holiday play like no
other.

The Santaland Diaries
was originally written
by beloved author
David Sedaris as a first-
hand account of being a
33-year-old man working
as a Christmas elf at
a Macy’s department
store. This essay has been
adapted into a one-man
show currently starring
Ryan Beil as Crumpet
the elf. Throughout the
play, we are presented
with Crumpet’s day-
to-day criticism on life
as a Macy’s elf. While

Crumpet parodies the
Americanized Christmas
spirit, he also gives us a
handful of moments that
remind us exactly why
we love the season.

Beil’s comedic
timing and ability to
drive the story forward
is remarkable. The
entire audience, myself
included, spent the
majority of the show
in laughter. Sedaris’
humour is exceptionally
witty and Beil delivers it
perfectly. This is truly a
unique approach to the
Christmas spirit.

I was also impressed
with the variety of

seamless set changes
and clever directorial
choices. The show had a
very minimal set, which
fit this diary entry style
of show well. The props
and effects used also

managed to be interesting

without distracting from
the show.

If your family or
friends are nagging you
to do something festive
over the holidays, take
them to see The Santaland
Diaries, which recently
got an extended week
of shows lasting until
December 29!

 

and “Point Shooting”
stops time so you can
mark your enemies and
let 47 shoot them down
for you. Being able to rig
the game in this way only
cheapens the experience.
Upon final judgment,
great stealth gameplay
offers the hackneyed
story and plagiarized
mechanics little salvation.
Whether the game rises
or falls depends on how
forgiving you are.

Ryan Beil in The Santaland Diaries
Photo courtesy of Tim Matheson