Op-€d the other press October 30, 2002 fire You My Mother? Erin Culhane Opinions Editor I haven't yelled at my children in five-and-a-half weeks. I’m not much of a yeller anyways, but sometimes when the kids get fighting, the room starts spinning and everything is out of control, I raise my voice to a level that parenting expert Barbara Coloroso would surely “tsk tsk” at. But, thanks to a nasty woman on Dewdney Trunk Road in Maple Ridge (that’s where I live), I am one calm mama with a slightly different perspective on what it means to be somebody’s mom. The story begins...I was in my car on a side street, preparing to turn right onto Dewdney. I waited, as a woman, her son (who looked about 1 1-years-old) and her husband crossed the street in front of my car. She appeared to be losing it on her son for something. Fair enough, I thought, maybe the kid was behav- ing badly and she thought it best to deal with the situation right then and there. ae out of her rotten mouth comes this pearl: “Just shut-up—shut the fuck JJ. McCullough Uhh, pardon? Had she seriously just cursed at her kid? I could hardly believe OP Cartoonist it. Then I looked at the boy. His head was down and he had the saddest look on his face. I gave the mother (clearly a term used loosely in this context) my best evil eye as she passed in front of my car. When she caught me staring, she imme- diately looked away. But as soon as the three stepped on the sidewalk she start- - ; 3 ed up again. And again she degraded her son with, “Shut the fuck up.” The Students’ Union Pride Collective meets Okay, we all have different parenting styles, and who am I to judge? But the Wednesdays at 4:00pm in the Pride Resource fword? I couldn't not say something. I turned onto Dewdney, parked my car Room (Room 110 in the Students’ Union and turned off the engine. Okay, I said to myself, do you really want to do this? “ti: Yes, I decided, I did. (I also asked myself if I was going to be able to resist the Building). All lesbian, gay, bi, transgendered, urge to grab the mouthy cow by the hair and beat the snot out of her. I decided questioning and allied students are welcome. that kind of behaviour would set a bad example for the child, so yeah, I could hold back.) So I got out of my car and approached the family. “Excuse me,” I said. They turned around, and the boy stood behind his father, hiding I suppose. “Do you know how long it takes for me to call Social Services?” No response. “You do not swear at your kid. You do not use the fword with your kid.” Still, no response. “Just because you're miserable, gives you no right to take it out on him.” Okay, I was on my own. If the lady had something to say, she wasn’t sharing. She just stood there with her mouth slightly ajar, staring at me. So I reiterated, “You never, ever talk to a kid like that,” and turned around and walked back to my car. Phew. That one-sided conversation completely drained me for the rest of the day. So did the thought of what that kid must go through at home. ’Cause if youre getting sworn at in the middle of a busy street, it’s gotta be even worse behind closed doors. Kids and teenagers get such a bad rap for being disrespectful and rude. Well, if they're being parented in a way that sucks every bit of self worth from them, what can we expect? How are kids like this going to maintain a healthy rela- tionship? How are they going to treat their own children one day? The answers to these questions are bleak and depressing. I don’t fool myself into thinking that I accomplished anything that day, except for maybe clearing my conscience. Yeah, good for you Erin, you let someone know what you thought. You let her know that she treats her kid like raw sewage, but don’t think you've changed anything for that little boy. And yet for me, things have changed. The next time we're running late for school and my daughter is freaking out because she can’t find matching socks land the dog barfs on the stairs and my son spills grape juice on the carpet, I'll bite my lip before I start ranting in frustration. Douglas Students’ Le nion And I'll always remember the look on that boy's face and how he must have E Z elt when his mom, one of the people in his life that should always look out for ech dh cll hel hel thch hdc tea lh heel im, treated him like he was nothing.