-The Other Press

 

But what is ITCH?

As | munch back my fourth ham-
burger in front of my television screen
and practice the fine art of becoming
a couch potato, | realize that it is a
new week, and that my column of
Jock Itch must again be written. Well
IT’s done.

Why, you ask? Well that | am not
quite sure. Could it be for the simple
reason that | and not my column seek
fame and glory? No, that’s not IT. I’m
content just being a couch potato. The
real reason lies short of both; man’s
deepest desires, and height of his
imagination.

In other words, IT is not the twi-
light zone, but in fact, just general
press. Well then, all my avid follow-
ers, on with the Itch that can only be
cured with the scratch of a pen.

This week’s column will not pro-
mote or demote the hockey team.
Settle down basketball players, and
stop jumping around, I’m not after
you either.

As | now walk the sub-terrainian
catacombs of Douglas College (at
great risk, may | add) | am both
complemented and sneered at. The
funniest of all are the people who
don’t understand my articles. Their

   

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Upper Caf.

reactions are equivalent to an athlete
who has suffered the Bonk or Hit the
Wall. Yes, they had to tax the utter
limit...the other side of their brain.

As | continue down the long hall-
ways, | am confronted by the sports
co-ordinator. ‘‘Quick, into a class-
room’’ | think to myself, but all the
doors are locked and | cannot escape.

| am then confronted. No, | am not
malled or jazzersized to death, but
confronted with the simple question,
in a nice tone of voice:

‘‘Are you the writer?’

“Yes, | am H,’’ | reply to her.

As our conversation ends, | get a
quaint little verbal nudge stating that,
““All press is good press except your

iobituary.’’ I’m not all that impressed’

with the last part, but then again,
think how terrible it would be if in fact
| didn’t write IT.

Now | am off, heading back to my
home to assume the position once
again as a couch potato. As | watch
T.V.; | realize my next topic. Eureka!
After all this, | have found IT. | put
Burger No. 6 down and begin to
write.

IT, is the best topic in my series of
the Jock Itch columns. Yes, | have a

Social Night

Friday Feb. 28th

*

Doors open 8:00pm

Bring your beach gear
It’s a massive beach parti

Tickets $2 each

on sale
in the main concourse

after Monday

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column and it’s suppose to go right
here. That’s right, IT is supposed to
take up these spaces of print and IT is
supposed to take up these spaces of
print and IT is generally dedicated to
one area of athletics or another, but
do you know what I’m going to
do....That’s right. | tored up my
column and I’m going to fill this space
with press that won’t be good or bad
for anyone. Feel robbed? Tough
Nuggies.

Oh! Don’t get me wrong. I'll be
back. I’Il write what | want, when |

want. To all the athletes who seek the
Fame and Glory...Ha! You get noth-
ing. Nothing good and nothing bad.
And if you really thing about it, that’s
right, start taxing the other side of
your brain again, this keeps you that
much farther from IT. No milk
commercials, no promised for Italian
shoes and no press. Oh! and before |
forget, | should at least come up with
a decent quote:
‘Hamburgers don’t bite back.’’
H.

 

 

We need

sports writers

 

photographers.

Come down and get involved.

The OP room 1602.

 

 

 

De SC So a Sy , OEM EERE EEE ESE CSELERE SELES ERERS EEE EEE EEAZALEA ES EEREBRSRERSEBABI SS HADDS

 

Rock Mania Novelties

-Amusement Arcade

20-25 Video games, Pinball,Hockey and Fooseball

- Just a hop and a skip away.

705 Columbia St.