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A simple guide to better friendships

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» Bad habits we can all break to make better connections

Taylor Pitt
Contributor

at determines a friend?

Shared interests and
hobbies, frequent gatherings at
the same hangout spots, grand

time? Where does personality
come into the equation? Or, is
there something missing from
this, something that can’t be so
easily analyzed or measured?

Traditionally, our friends are talk. Now, I don’t mean to

insist that everyone is vain,

: but it seems like the problem

: is that conversations centre

: too much on ourselves and our

: environment, and can therefore
: lacka personal quality. Human :
: personality goes so much deeper :
: than what we find enjoyable,

: what we do for work, and how

: we're getting along in school.

: While the occasional update

: on what one has accomplished

: at work or what asinine thing

: the assistant manager did this

: week may be interesting, and

: although everyone can learn a

: lot more when we share what we
: learned at school, the constant

: comparison of our lives against

However, as more and more : those of our friends can very

thought of as the people with
whom we interact and spend
time with outside of a family,
school, or work atmosphere.
Occasionally, one might make
friends with a co-worker ora
fellow student in the classroom,
and many people still count
high school companions among
them. They’re the people we go
to movies with, the ones always
invited to our parties, and the
ones we might buy a pint of
beer for at the bar. Finally, your
best friends are supposed to be
the ones you can count on to
help bail you out of a difficult
situation, and to always support
you in what you do.

: criteria is added, I can hazard

: a guess that suddenly one’s list
: of good friends starts to shrivel
: up. Good friends are hard to

: come by, and building a great

: friendship seems to take a lot

: of effort. This doesn’t need to
parties that get crazier time after : be the case though, as there

: are a few bad habits we all have

: which, if combatted, can help us
: make better, longer lasting, and
: more loving friendships.

One bad habit is small

: quickly become droll and

: uninteresting. To better get to

: know your friends, try raising

: new subjects of conversation or
: getting into personal history, life :
: goals, and ridiculous fantasies.
: Marvel just as much at how your :
: friends are different from you as
: you would at your similarities,

: and you'll find yourself making
: much deeper connections.

Second, move away from

: familiar places. Variety is the

: spice of life, as the old phrase
: goes. When it comes to just

: hanging out, variety is what

: separates time with friends

: from mundane experiences

: like work or school. Familiar

: environments like the antique

living room couch at your

: best friend’s place may be the

: routine location to hang out,

: but frequenting it at the rate

: you do the office or classroom is
: bound to associate it with what’s
: mundane eventually. Instead,

: try finding new and exciting

: places to just kick back. Replace
: the usual bar with somewhere

: you've never been before, and

: your buddy’s couch with a local
: park or hideaway. Not every

? excursion out into the city has

Have an idea?

Contact: Chitwan Khosla, Features Editor

M features@theotherpress.ca

www.theotherpress.ca

ed

: to end with spending half a
: paycheque on liquor or food;
: there’s plenty of cheap or free
: entertainment out there for

small gatherings. Not only that,

arsenal of places you can bring

: others to on dates!

Be more generous to one

       

Image from Thinkstock

: surrounded by other humble,
: generous, and supportive
: people.

Finally, and possibly

most importantly, is to avoid
: but you'll build up your personal :

forming a clique. Treat friends

: of your good friends as if they
: were also your good friends.

: : While there are introverts out
: another. This very simple notion :
: doesn’t just mean giving your

: friends more of your stuff, and
: by no means should anyone let
: themselves be taken advantage
: of. Generosity just means

: keeping less track of favours

: done for each other and what’s
: owed. Forgetting the times

: you spared an extra cigarette

: fora friend, or not expecting

: anything in return for the time
: you spent helping another

: buddy move. Both seem very

: minor, but are generous actions. :
: Sparing whatever extra time or

: resources you have to support

: your friends in their personal

: pursuit of life goals or creative

: projects will seta good example
: for everyone you spend time

: with, and encourage others to

: do the same. In close circles of

: friends, the obvious effect is

: that one will find themselves

there, this isn’t just a matter

: of talking to everyone equally.

: In party settings or on late

: night adventures, be sure to

: keep an eye out for the well-

: being of everyone in the group,
: and encourage others to do

: the same. Build a trusting

: atmosphere in your social

: network, and eventually, it will
: seem more like you've built a

: community.

Meaningful, interpersonal

: connections between human

beings are the foundations of

any successful community,

: and the key to both wisdom

: and happiness. Therefore, it’s

: in everyone's best interest to

: get to know our friends and

: neighbourhoods better, to be

; more generous with our time

: and what we can share, and to

: support an atmosphere of trust
: and inclusivity.