SEXY SEX WITH DR. SEX: Dr. Steven Sex & Dr. Marilyn Fairchild Every week the OP’ resident sex experts and happily divorced couple answer your questions. If “you want to have a question answered by our sexperts, send an email to dr.steven.sex(@gmail.com. You can keep _your name confidential in fact, for legal reasons, wed prefer it that way. Dear Dr. Sex and Dr. Fairchild: I’m a student, but my partner works, usually up to 12 hours a day. When he comes home at night, he’s never in the mood. He always says he’s too tired. It’s not that I don’t believe him; he’s not very attractive, so I’m fairly sure he doesn’t have a lover. Either way, we haven’t had sex in four months, and I’m pulling my hair out! What should I do? Dr. Sex: Well you’re certainly not the first person to complain about this kind of thing, Unsatisfied. Dr. Fairchild: I'll say. Dr. S: What I mean is that many couples these days are finding difficulty in making time for intimacy. His work must really be consuming him if he never makes it home to defrost the freezer before bed. Dr. F: Especially if he has a secretary. Dr. S: It’s not his fault if his work colleagues pay more attention to him than his partner, Marilyn. After all, he’s clearly the one bringing home all the money for those “therapeutic” spa visits over at Dr, Rothchild’s clinic. Dr. F: And maybe if her partner did more than the occasional “thrust-grunt-thrust-moan- smoke-sleep” routine, she wouldn’t need attention from a specialist. Dr. S: Rothchild is a proctologist, you wombat. Dr. F: Maybe, but she certainly knows how to please a woman. Have you suggested he take some time off from work to go on a romantic vacation, like a ski trip to the moun- tains? Dr. S: That only works if you actually bring him with you, butthead. It doesn’t help much if you leave him at a gas station in Banff. Dr. F: It couldn’t have been that bad. After all, you did “banff” the girl behind the count- Susan Unsatisfied in Surrey. | er. By the way, has she graduated from, tee hee, hairdressing school yet? _ Dr. S: Eat it Marilyn. See you next week. Classifieds Students advertise for free! For free student classifieds up to 30 words, email: lukesimcoe@yahoo.ca with your name, student number, and desired section, and put “classified” in the subject line. Fast Cash Ads: 3 lines, 3 times for $15 (30 words max). Open rate of $5 per line. Enquiries: call our advertising manager at lukesimcoe@yahoo.ca. Pictures Classified pictures are $10 each printing. The picture size is 3.5cm x 2.5em, black and white. When placing an ad please remem- ber... All ads must be received by Thursday to be published in the following Wednesday’s paper. Check your ad for errors and please call or email our offices to report any corrections. To ensure the integrity of our student newspaper, we reserve the right to revise, reclassify, edit, or refuse your ad. For Sale Two 128MB Memory Modules 184PIN DDR PC2100 DIMM With original packages. A Steal at $45! E-Mail me at email@scottelliott.com. 1980 Honda CB650 parts, $5 and up. Email redcoat1812@hotmail.com. Accessories Pack for any cellular phone for $40. Package includes battery, screen protector, desk- top charger, car charger, and leather case. Items retail for $60 if purchased seperately! Brand New. If interested, please call Andre at 778.883.6805. Herbal products to improve your health. Choose an alternative to conventional medicine. Safe and easy to use. Contact Alex at natutal_cures@hotmail.com or 604.589.8728. HP 722C printer, new colour ink cartridge $75. Epson colour 800 printer, 2 new black ink car- tridges $60. Can see both operating. 778 - 885 - 5476 Submit Classifeds to classifieds at editor.otherpress@gmail.com Services Tutor/Proofreader (Ph.D) $25/hour for essays, thesis, etc. 604.837.1016 or editor888@hotmail.com. Professional tutor, writing coach, and editor can help with English 130, 106, 112, and 109; also Business Communications, reports, letters, and résumés. Quality guaranteed. The Writer’s ‘Touch, www.writerstouch.net 604.437.6069. Vancouver Support group for stutterers. Every alternate Friday, 7-9pm. Room 4310, New West campus. For more info, contact Mary Rose Labandelo: 604.526.1735. Wanted OPTions for Sexual Health (formerly Planned Parenthood) is looking for volunteers to assist on the Facts of Life Line, a toll-free, confiden- tial, sexual health information and referral resource line. Call 604.731.4552 ext. 224, or visit www.optionsforsexualhealth.com. AVID HALO 2 PLAYER. Need to have Halo2 game and XBOX Live. Please contact by email. Jamie Campbell. Jamie Campbell12345@hotmail.com. WATER POLO Players Wanted Students interested in participating in Intramural/Varsity Douglas Water Polo call: (604)777-6029(ext.# 3) or email:sessionpolo@yahoo.ca for more information. Come live Free and Easy in Thailand for 40 days! www. freeandeasy.ca 19