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Standing out to fit in

How being different can
make you the same

By Natalie Serafini,
Opinions Editor

mM. hippie aunt was
recently telling me about
something she noticed while
out with her partner, Doug, at
an event. “I find it interesting
how many people strive to

be different, but at the same
time, need to be a part of
something. For example, we
went to a biker event a while
ago. The place was wall-to-wall
black leather, chaps, Harley
Davidson logos, and hair. I got
to thinking how, on their own
in the general population, these
guys really stand out. But, in
fact, they belong to a group,
and what makes them stand out
elsewhere, is a uniform of sorts.
When together, nobody stands
out. Curiously, that day, it was
Doug and I who stood out. And
we weren't trying to.”

My aunt made a good
point about the tendency to
simultaneously want to stand
out and blend in. While there’s
a rebellion to looking and
acting differently from the rest
of society, there’s a comfort
to being one of a group. It’s a
push-me-pull-you mentality

that is the basis for cliques and
a near-obsessive aversion to
being like the rest of society. The
classic example of this is hipster
culture.

I love hipsters. I know
disdain is in the air over hipsters
with their oversized glasses (I
want a pair!) and their irony (I
like puns! I like wordplay! I like
irony!), and their inclination to
hate anything mainstream. Here
I stop with my praise, because
I genuinely can’t understand
the hipster hate of anything
that is “mainstream,” or “so
not original,” or that they liked
something before it was cool.
Even more confusing about the
hipster’s aversion to any and
everything “cool” is the fact
that these characteristics—the
glasses, irony, second-hand
clothing, and abhorrence of the
mainstream—unite them into a
definitive, definable group.

The people who make
up groups like this almost
stop being individuals in the
pursuit of difference: you can’t
be a hipster if you like One
Direction or Twilight; you can’t
be a biker if you don’t own
leather; you can’t be a hippie if
you aren’t wearing tie-dye on
a regular basis. These are often
the characteristics that define
them as one of a group, but
those characteristics also ignore
the personal preferences of the
individual. A hipster “can’t” like
Twilight, but in reality, anyone

could like the series. A biker
“should” wear leather, but they
could be vegan. Here, those
things that would make these
individuals different and unique
are ignored because they would
separate them from their group.

Wanting to be yourself is
great, but not if your goal is the
pursuit of uniqueness to the
point of ignoring your actual
tastes. That goal—to be unique,
to be different, to stand out
in society—becomes a front
when it begins to negate actual
individuality. There’s nothing
wrong with wanting to be a
part of a group: there’s comfort
in knowing you don’t stand
alone, and few people can pull
off Clint Eastwood's lone wolf
squint. Still, I think it’s better to
be unabashedly embarrassing
than limited by shame.

I'll grant you, there are
plenty of things I hate myself
for liking: I shouldn't like
Pitbull’s music, and I shouldn’t
be so tempted to watch Dance
Moms. I acknowledge that I
have woefully terrible taste
in a multitude of ways; my
friends know this about me,
they forgive me for my sins,
and we move on with our lives.
Being different for difference’s
sake is contradictory to what
idiosyncrasies are meant to
encourage: to like what you like,
be who you are, and leave it at
that.

School of Thought: Facebook follies

By Natalie Serafini,
Opinions Editor

here is some Facebook

etiquette that I must
blushingly admit to not
following. I tag myself in my
own pictures, I’m always on
the prowl for my next profile
picture, and the majority of
my status updates are of the
self-promotional persuasion.
Nonetheless, I don’t consider
myself to be the worst
offender—at least, not out of my
list of Facebook friends—due in
part to my unspoken Code of
Facebook Honour. This basically
means that I avoid thinking
of Facebook as a diary, and I
don’t have any public feuds or
arguments.

The breeding ground for
narcissism, over-sharing, and
self-promotion still has its
fans, but most people have at

least one Facebook pet peeve.
How do students feel about
Facebook? Have the times and
the terrible brought Facebook
to its knees, or is it still “Where
Everybody Knows Your Name”?
Asked what she thought
was the worst offence on
Facebook, Kiran Thandi
pointed out the very real issue
of bullying on social media.
For Felino Ponio, the most
annoying Facebook habit is
the over-exposed selfie-shot:
“] think it’s the self-pictures.
Sometimes it can go overboard.
Like, not having shirts on, or
underwear... it kind of gets
weird. Like, why is that there?”
Fatima Magbanua has a
similar issue with this excessive
narcissism. She stated, “They'll
take a picture of themselves,
and theyll be like, “The day is so
pretty,’ ‘The weather’s so nice.’
And all you see is their face.”
The dreaded over-share is a

problem for Loren Andres. She
recounted how, “I unfriended
someone because it was, you
know, ‘So and so’s getting
ready to push,’ because she was
having a kid.”

Similarly, Alyssa Ford
avoids sharing too many
personal details on Facebook.
She said, “If a family member
dies, I’m not putting that up. I
know when my grandma died,
my cousin, I told her multiple
times, ‘Do not put that on
Facebook.’ What does she do?
She puts it on Facebook.”

Ekam Badyal also avoids
sharing too much information.
She stated, “Keep things to
yourself. I don’t post statuses up
every day.”

Another issue was with
individuals dominating the
newsfeed. Karan Bains said,

“T just don’t like it when it’s
the same person over and over
again, you know? I don’t really

 

have any problems with people
on Facebook, but it’s just when
it’s the same person taking up
your whole feed, that kind of
gets annoying.”

Keeret Saggu agreed,
mentioning that she unfriended
someone because they were
taking up her newsfeed.

For Harpal Singh, the most
annoying part of Facebook
is the check-in feature: “The
check-in thing, that’s like a
punishment. The newsfeed is
full of people saying, ‘I eat at
McDonald’s, I went to there,

I went to something.’ ... They
don’t enter the place, first they
put in a check-in. If there’s some
annoying friend with me and
they’re like, ‘Okay, can J tag you
in a check-in? Can you accept
it?’ That’s so annoying.”

Most of those interviewed
felt Facebook would maintain its
popularity, but pointed out that
with so many other social media

Photo courtesy of fluffy_steve (Flickr)

sites, Facebook wasn’t as strong
as it used to be. Some mentioned
Google+, Instagram, Twitter,
and Tumblr.

As far as I’m concerned,
the annoyances on Facebook
have become a part of its
charm. We all have friends
whose albums are dedicated to
selfies. You can always count
on one of your acquaintances
to post an overly personal
status, or a dramatically vague
update that begs for attention.
All of this sates our thirst for
knowledge about other peoples’
lives. I avoid posting about my
personal life on Facebook, but
I’m perfectly happy to know
what couple broke up, or what
pair of friends is now in a feud.
Facebook's follies are part of
what make it Facebook, and
I wouldn’t have it any other
way—even if my newsfeed does
get clogged up by the same
people.

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